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Andromeda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 03:49 PM
Original message
Has anyone seen this?
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE
CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY
6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry
Fallwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing (one
second long)
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your Kid a Military
Deferment
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's
for Dinner.
8:00 PM Vote on next country to invade
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos are
After your Children
8:30 PM Round Table Discussion: Reproductive
Rights in America & the World (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The Government
of NOW
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin'
Dat Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: The Real Cause
of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret CIA Handbook
development meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak
made For Morons
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to Squint
and Talk Macho While Committing War Crime
Atrocities
10:35 PM Bush demonstration: Trademark "Deer
in Headlights" stare.
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstration: New
Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas Speech: Black Republicans
Committed the the Cause (another one second long)
10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3" Education: A Drain on our
Nation's Economy.
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: Evolutionists
and The Dangers of Science
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.
11:35 PM Blame Clinton, Again & again.....
11:40 PM Read Time with Laura: "The Little Engine
that Could"
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12: 00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy
Supreme Planetary Overlord and Master


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Goldmund Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 03:52 PM
Response to Original message
1. It's been posted only about 1.23E187 times
:)
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Andromeda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. I was afraid of that.
:eyes:
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RobertSeattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
2. Been posted many times
...But I heard something about JimJab or soemthing being funny? :evilgrin:

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Texasgal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
3. HA!
I haven' seen that yet... how funny!
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greekspeak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
5. What happened before 6:00 PM?
Here it is:

12:00 Power Lunch Topic of Discussion-Off Shore Bank Accounts Good, Welfare Queens Bad

1:00 Cheney Demonstration: Bowling with Kittens and Puppies

1:30 Hitting the Streets With John Ashcroft: Finding Statues with Boobies and Covering them Up

3:00 Barn Swing, Republican Style: No hay, piles of money to land and roll around in!

3:30 Interprettive Dance with The Republican Dancers: Special dance entitled "Poor people and Minorities Are Fun to Laugh at."

4:00 Special Breakout Sessions: America the Theocracy; Oil: Its why to invade countries; Veterans, this band-aid is for you; How to Divert Sewage into Wetlands; If you Loved Jesus Enough you wouldn't need Medicare, loser; How Not to piss your pants at the sight of Hilary Clinton; The Clenis: Its Role in the Fall of the Roman Empire.

5:00 Pin The Tail on the Liberal Straw Man.

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Andromeda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 05:50 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Hahaha...
I love #4, especially "How not to piss your pants at the sight of Hillary Clinton." :D
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jbm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-01-04 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
7. The republican national revival..
the sad thing is, I had to read the list a few times before I was certain it was satire.
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