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It appears hand-picked interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi has been amusing himself in a manner befitting his status as a Third World thug propped up by shadowy factions among First World intelligence services. It has recently been reported that, in the days leading up to the bogus "sovereignty handover", Allawi gathered up some American military bodyguards and took a trip to a Baghdad police station, where he selected a number of detainees to play with.
According to eye-witness reports, Allawi ordered police to summarily execute two of the bound and blindfolded captives. His bloodlust duly stirred, Allawi proceeded to personally pull the trigger on seven more detainees, killing six. As of yet, there is no official confirmation of the rumor which I am hereby starting that Preznit Dubya loaned Allawi Saddam's pistol -- which is normally kept in the Oval Office "suicide drawer" -- to commit these dirty deeds.
Familiarity, as the old saying goes, breeds contempt. And nothing breeds familiarity like repetition. So perhaps it was a longing for a different kind of thrill that led Allawi to put down the gun and pick up one of those patented, Iraqi "hand-chopping axes" we've all heard so much about, which he used to amputate a ninth detainee's hand. So at least we know he's not lazy.
Initially, the Australian press were the only ones willing to touch this story. Eventually, Newsweek and the Moonie-owned Washington Times picked it up, whereupon it reached the desk of Rush Limbaugh, causing him to squirt a thin load of watery, opiate-diluted man-sap into his No Boundaries Collection boxers, a feat he was allegedly incapable of performing with his third wife during their ten-years-plus-a-day marriage. Way to hold out for max alimony, Marta! Nice tenacity! But I digress.
It may just be my squishy liberal weakness oozing through, but I find it troubling that tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians -- and who knows how many Iraqi soldiers -- were slaughtered in this businessman's war of first resort, which was built on lies from the get-go, for no apparent reason. Can this really be the kind of regime nearly a thousand (and counting) American soldiers paid the ultimate price to install? Can it really be true that upwards of six thousand American soldiers have sacrificed their health, families, sanity and limbs... just to reshuffle a deck of evil Jokers?
Oh well. What's done is done. Allawi may a cold-blooded, murderous thug who doesn't give a fuck about the rule of law or basic human rights, but at least he's our cold-blooded, murderous thug who doesn't give a fuck about the rule of law or basic human rights! After all, Saddam provided his Western puppetmasters with nearly four decades of service - not to mention a profligate WMD client state - before going rogue.
With any luck, there will be a similarly lengthy and profitable span of time before Allawi gets too big for his britches, at which point he will be tricked into invading a neighboring country and it will be, as they say, "Game Over."
And over. And over. And over. And over.
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