CDC Now Reports: Just Speaking About Gay Marriages Ruins Hetero Marriages.

[David Zephyr]

Late Breaking News from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

ATLANTA: The Washington Moon Times has just learned that what many have feared has now been confirmed: the simple act of even speaking about gay matrimony, even if one is speaking in opposition to homosexual unions, can and does cause heterosexual marriages to fail, and fail rapidly. Worse, it can also cause heterosexual men to become active homosexuals themselves.

Dr. I.C. Darkly speaking on behalf of the CDC in Atlanta reported this medical discovery and related them to recent public events.

1.) Most recently, right-wing radio broadcaster, Rush Limbaugh who has spent hundreds of hours calling on the American people daily to support a ban on gay unions, announced that he and his third wife had filed for divorce. Dr. Darkly says the linkage between discussing queer marriages and the dissolution of the Limbaugh family is undeniable.

2.) Paul Crouch, multi-millionaire evangelist and head of the Trinity Broadcasting Network, has dedicated hours of his televised religious programming in opposition to gay and lesbian marriages. This Sunday, the Los Angeles Times reported that Reverend Crouch, has been secretly paying off a young man in order to keep him from revealing their recent torrid homosexual affair. Again, Dr. Darkly stated, "If you talk about gay marriages, you do so at your own risk for you will lose your own."

3.) Newt Gingrich, one of the early champions against gay marriages in the mid-1990's, has been reduced to a continuing string of failing hetero marriages.

4.) Republican U.S. Congressman Edward L. Schrock from Virginia who has spoken out repeatedly within the House of Representatives in opposition to homosexual marriages and voting against them actually has now become a homosexual himself and was forced to end his political career.

5.) And now, Congressman David Drier from California who has voted for every anti-gay law in Congress including his championing of laws preventing same-sex marriage has apparently also come down with Acquired Homosexual Syndrome simply by speaking about the subject. Drier, it is reported, is about to be outed as a practicing homosexual who is enjoys passive anal sex with Caucasian young men.

Dr. Darkly says that these examples are only the tip of the iceberg and warned all heterosexual white men to immediately stop even discussing the subject of gay marriages to avoid the fate of these other men.

Reference Links:

http://www.bluelemur.com/index.php?p=293
http://www.capitolhillblue.com/artman/publish/article_5153.shtml
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/national/AP-Televangelist-Allegations.html

[karlrschneider]

1. Now, that's -funny-. Actually it's hilarious.

:D

[David Zephyr]

2. David "Dottie" Drier Is In Panic Mode.

How sweet this all is. Thanks.

[Mika]

3. I.C. Darkly??

LOL

[Ol Sugar Coat]

4. All closeted homophobes MUST BE OUTED

Speaking as a gay man utterly disgusted with the hypocrisy of the aforementioned gay men, I know in my heart that the only way to fight fire is with fire. I applaud the outing of these harmful, deluded, self-hating bigots. They've had it coming for a long,long, long time. We just can't afford to let them continue to have it both ways.

[David Zephyr]

5. Everyday There Are More Like You, Ol Sugar Coat.

I have always supported outing of homosexuals in powerful positions IF they use their positions to hurt their own.

Larry Kramer's classic play, "A Normal Heart," pretty much said it all for me back then in the 1980's.

Glad to meet you here, Ol Sugar Coat. I am also "utterly disgusted" with you. And I agree that "they've had it coming for a long,long, long time. We just can't afford to let them continue to have it both ways." :hi:

[RebelYell]

9. Completely agree

Either be honest about your life or risk outing. I personally don't care who a politician has sex with, if he's honest and a good person. I would never take their sexual preference in consideration on what kind of politician they would make. That makes absolutely no sense to me. This country needs a shift in thinking on this issue.

[RebelYell]

6. Let's play pretend

Pretend there's a gay couple living across the street. They want to get married, invite you to their wedding, and it's lovely.

How the HELL does that affect YOUR hetero marriage??? If anything, you got a good meal out of it!

Oh, how this kind of thinking pisses me off.

[tom_paine]

7. One wonders why these Gay Busheviks hate their own kind so much

Self-loathing? Psychosis?

There are so many Gay Busheviks out there, it's quite astonishing.
And they ALL deny it. All are closeted and repressed and self-loathing.

Disgraceful.

[RebelYell]

8. I have no right to force my opinion on people who are different

Period. It has no bearing on me. Why on Earth would I mind? I just don't get it. Gays getting married across the street has absolutely no effect on my hetero marriage. Laws. I hate 'em.

[tom_paine]

12. Well I wouldn't go that far about the laws...

"Dogs and cats...living together. It will be anarchy!"
--Bill Murray, "Ghostbusters"

:evilgrin:

[RebelYell]

13. We need one law

No Corporations

[tom_paine]

16. Ummmm....I don't think so

Too extreme by far for me. You want to eliminate business, capitalism?

Just what exactly are we talking about here?

Or are you just posting wacky ultra-extremist shit for the sake of fucking with DU?

I don't know and I don't care, I suppose, but you are being somewhat ludicrous.

[RebelYell]

17. My apologies

I wasn't clear. Corporations was a poor choice. I meant near-monopolies, i.e., media.

[Joanne98]

10. I thought for a minute the CDC had been taken over by Pat Roberston

thank Gawd it was just a joke :)

[mitchtv]

11. Miss Dreier is hopefully

getting his last hurrah. self hating loathesome closet queen.

[Joanne98]

14. I sent it to him........

hee hee :) BTW His name is spelled Dreier......I told him I thought he'd find it funny. NOT.

[Joanne98]

15. I sent it to Michael Savage too.......

hee hee :) I better go to bed before I get into trouble. Night.

[yellowcanine]

18. Dang! My wife and I were discussing gay marriage just last night and this

morning she is off with her lesbian lover - and I got a hard-on over some guy in a car next to me at a redlight. Heh.

[calimary]

19. Well, that discussion has certainly had an impact on MY ongoing

28-year marriage...



NOT!!!

When I call republi-CON offices to lobby against this stupid-shit Marriage DISCRIMINATION Amendment, I express my sincere condolences that those representatives' marriages are SO dicey and unstable that the idea of gay marriage threatens their very foundations! It's just a shame for them, isn't it? (Where're those violins?)