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Republican Wingnut Blowback
Their own words, viciously ripped out of context, savagely ellipsed, recklessly yet accurately spun around George W. Bush!
With snarky commentary by Miss Authoritiva
The following quotations are real. Of course, the toxic invective was actually directed towards Democrats, liberals, and pretty much anybody named Clinton (including the late beloved Buddy). One day I realized that it would be therapeutically spiteful to recycle these lies into truths about Bush. And there's also such a wonderful double-edged, then-and-now twist to savor about these quotes, too.
Remember: To play the game, just keep thinking "Bush."
"A triple-draft-dodging, cocaine snorting, sleazy, financially corrupt person." -- Rep Bob Dornan, a true master at the top of his game.
"I've come to believe that he needs a certain level of violence…. He's willing to accept a certain level of killing to further his political agenda, and his vice president, too." -- NRA Executive Wayne LaPierre, miffed that he didn't get invited to the hunt ball.
"In this recurring nightmare of a presidency, we have a national debate about whether he 'did it,' even though all sentient people know he did. Otherwise there would be debates only about whether to impeach or assassinate." -- Ann Coulter, for whom it is always about violent death and public humiliation.
"I don't know if we'll ever get him on all the crimes he has committed…. It may be decades before history reveals the vastness of (the) President('s) abuse of power or the extent of the damage it has wrought." -- Rep Bob Barr, a man very much concerned with the history-ness of things.
"If I could prove 10 percent of what I believe happened, he'd be gone. This guy's a scumbag." -- Rep Dan Burton, but then he says this about everybody.
"The truth is still the truth, and a lie is still a lie, and the rule of law should apply to everyone, no matter what excuses are made by the president's defenders." -- Rep James Sensenbrenner, now in charge of investigating (or not) the Plame outing, WMD "intelligence," and those tasty Niger uranium cakes, among other things.
"The first rule of diplomacy is not to make the situation worse. Yet, the Administration's lack of foresight and planning…has compounded the humanitarian crisis…. The military campaign also has suffered from deficiencies in political management and planning. The American military deserves better political leadership than this." -- then-Sen John Ashcroft, a man whose legal, diplomatic, and military skills surely could be used elsewhere.
"Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain…what the exit strategy is." -- George W. Bush (really), on a concept that he fully grasped in 1999 but had completely forgotten by 2001.
"(The) President…is leading our nation down the path of 'mission creep' that will suck our military into a quagmire that resembles Vietnam -- a situation that America has vowed never to repeat. -- Rep Terry Everett, whose official slogans for the current festivities are 'we will not stop' and 'the president will not blink.'
"To put it plainly, (the President) is a sociopath, a liar…a man with recklessly bad judgment and a scofflaw. (He) has the classic symptoms of the sociopath.... (He) is 100 percent self-centered. Other human beings are just objects to be manipulated to achieve the sociopath's goals." -- Charley Reese, Orlando Sentinel, a top conservative writer who has covered everything from sports and politics. And sports.
"Perhaps the best thing we can hope for is that remorse and regret set in among the public and even among (the President's) apologists." -- Bill Bennett, the atonement czar.
"I don't think there's any question that (the President) will go down in history as the most accomplished and polished liar that we have ever had serving in the White House." -- Sen Robert F. Bennett, contributing editor to the Book of Unverifiable World Records.
"You are a disgrace to your baptism!… You are a slimy coward. Go register in another party. -- Rep Bob Dornan, who once again nails it to the cross.
Bonus weirdness:
"If you're going to fuck me, you'll have to kiss me first." -- Gov George Bush to Texas Lieutenant Gov Bob Bullock, thus proving that it's never too late for latency and giving Andrew Sullivan much-needed hope.
*For a wicked-good-fun compilation of demented eloquence, see Take Them at Their Words: Shocking, Amusing, and Baffling Quotations From the G.O.P. and Their Friends, 1994-2004, by Bruce J. Miller and Diana Maio. It was the perfect read during my long wait at the motor vehicle inspection station, buzzed on monoxide.
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