Ran, Ran, Ran, Ran-Ran Dee Rhodes!

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Didja know there were 32 pages of rules negotiated for Thursday's "debate"? The Republicans were represented by James Baker, the liar of the moment during Florida 2000.

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1. Bush loves lawyers!

At least the kind of lawyers who represent the Saudi Royal Family against the families of the 9/11 victims. You know, like James Baker.

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2. Riffing on specific rules

"Candidates shall wear business attire." No, they were going to wear pajamas.

"Hand gestures." No raising of the hand for opponent to "talk to". Can't imply opponent is deranged.

"Bodily fluids." A perspiration clause! Really.

[AlCzervik]

3. she's on a roll today

she is so funny, at first i wasn't crazy about her, maybe because her voice reminds me of my own but i've grown to really like her.

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4. Can't use certain words

Jesus freak. Stinkin' drunk. Coke addict. Rat bastard. Lickspittle.

Rule 98: Neither candidate can say "Vietnam" or the "debate"'s over.

Rules negotiated by one grown man (Vernon Jordan) and one stunted little demon spawn (James Baker).

[mountainvue]

11. I dare them to go

aheand and end the debate on live television if one little thing goes wrong. How do you think America will react to that?

[proud patriot]

5. LOL these rules are a joke

Un friggin believable :crazy:

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6. I think it was a mix of joke and serious rules

I didn't catch on at first (big surprise there), but some of them were apparently serious -- like the "candidates shall wear business attire" one. After the station break, she's coming back with a batch of serious ones.

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7. Number one ridiculous rule

The candidates cannot talk to each other! Takes this whole thing out of the realm of "debate".

Limits on how far the candidates can "wander" from their lectern. Pens and pencils have to be on the lectern beforehand, and inspected by the Secret Service. Treating the candidates as if they're Maxwell Smart and Agent 99.

No shots of audience response, or the other candidate while a candidate is speaking. Faux claims they won't follow the rules. Uh huh.

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8. We are desperate for a serious discussion

And we're gonna get a battle of bumper stickers.

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9. And, no brown M&Ms!

Station break. But THAT was funny.

[Hutzpa]

10. Who represent Kerry? n/t

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12. Vernon Jordan, according to Randi

They negotiated the distance between the lecterns so that Chimpy wouldn't look like the shrimp he is next to Kerry.

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13. The audience must be

Evenly divided between soft Bush supporters and soft Kerry supporters. Viagra verboten? Randi doesn't understand.

The Memorandum of Understanding specifies camera angles and moderator conduct and behavior -- without consulting with the networks or the moderators, who have stated that they aren't bound by the candidates' agreement.

Dopes.

[Skittles]

14. will Bush be wearing his electronic ear piece?

anything in the rules about that?