A thread in LBN got me thinking....

[hyphenate]

What if they gave a rapture and nobody came?

We could say it's already happened, and they're all left behind. Heh, heh, heh.

Most of the fundies who believe in it are uppity, righteous hypocrites to begin with. I think we should contrive some rumor that tells how all our righteous family members have suddenly disappeared overnight and how thousands have gone on to a reward--either that, or we could say those lost in the earthquakes, hurricanes, battles and more are those who were raptured, and all those "poor" sucker RRR fundies are among those who were left here to suffer for the next five years. That would be very well deserved, I think.

[Inland]

1. "Huh. My cousin disappeared. Guess you didn't make the grade."

"So, you're what, a drinker or something?"

[hyphenate]

2. Surprise!

:rofl:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

10. LOL n/t

[jimshoes]

3. That would be

funny seeing all the thumpers standing around in a post rapture world with their mouths hanging open, going WTF!

[Az]

4. Everybody leave their cars abandoned in the street next sunday

Just leave clothes and other personal affects in them. Cars all over the place. Some news feed will pick it up. As soon as it starts making the airwaves go pick your cars back up. The rapture ready crowd will go ape.

[hyphenate]

5. This is beginning to sound like a plan!!

:rofl:

[Inland]

13. Find a church where the sunday sermon is on rapture

It's easier to concentrate the "rapture" to a single parking lot.

A couple of actors swearing that "My husband was here, and now, he's GONE"!

[babylonsister]

6. My sister has a friend who votes Dem but also

believes in the Rapture; she thought the occurrence of the tsunami was a precursor to the Rapture. She must be going batshit now after this summer! :crazy:

[mandyky]

7. God told me the jokes gonna be on them,

the rapturites. They get to stay and fight it out with other religious fanatics!

[hyphenate]

8. I think the joke's on them

already, since the "rapture" rumor was only created in the past 100 years.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

9. LOL That would be too funny.

"Hmmm. You WEREN'T such a good person, after all. Oh well; see you in Hell! Maybe we'll both stand in the same flame! Wouldn't that be WAY COOL? It could be like a sleepover or something. I'll bring the sex toys!"

Heh, heh, heh. Messing with fundie minds is too fun--and too EASY!

[Fuzz]

11. Have you seen raptureletters.com?

After the rapture, there will be a lot of speculation as to why millions of people have just disappeared. Unfortunately, after the rapture, only non believers will be left to come up with answers. You probably have family and friends that you have witnessed to and they just won't listen. After the rapture they probably will, but who will tell them?

We have written a computer program to do just that. It will send an Electronic Message (e-mail) to whomever you want after the rapture has taken place, and you and I have been taken to heaven.

How is this accomplished, you might ask. It's a dead man switch that will automatically send the emails when it is not reset.

If you wish to do something now that will help your unbelieving friends and family after the rapture, you need to add those persons email address to our database. Their names will be stored indefinitely and a letter will be sent out to each of them on the first Friday after the rapture. Then they will receive another letter every friday after that.

This rapture letter service is FREE and will hopefully gain the person you send it to an eternity in heaven.

If you would like to see one of the letters which will be sent after the rapture, click here.

This is a personal ministry, if you have any questions or comments please address them to: [e-mail]

Thank you and God Bless You!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

12. ROFLMAO! n/t

[hyphenate]

15. That is WAY too funny!

This might be something we can play with for awhile. Messing with their minds might be easy, but it's way too funny not to try! :rofl:

[bonzotex]

24. OMFG! That is hilarious! n/t

[TayTay]

14. This did happen, in America, in 1844.

This is part of the historical background of the development of the Seventh Day Adventist Faith. (Which has it's root in Millerism.) Religion went on, but some people who had sold their homes and possessions in anticipation of the 'end times' were pretty pissed off.

See this entry in Winkipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millerites

Most sects that are heavy into end of the world scenarios are smart enough to not pick a date. But, even that can be overcome. People believe what they want to believe and often have too much invested in the relgion to abandon it, even in the face of failure.

[hyphenate]

16. Is that like those looneytoons

with the sandwich boards who run around major cities with "The End of the World is Near" on the boards?

Part of the whole thing is that "world end" scenarios aren't always "rapture" scenarios. The rapture thing is pretty much a RRR concept.

[TayTay]

19. Actually, the 'Great Disappointment' leads to where we are today.

A number of fundamentalist sects can trace their American origin back to the time the world didn't end. Faith doesn't always makes sense. (At least not to me.) But this is a powerful strain in American religious history and just because they got the math wrong in setting the date for the earth to end, doesn't mean they got the concept wrong.

Well, that plus the invention of the Scofield Bible, sigh!

[hootinholler]

17. This would be the mother of all practical jokes...

Could we pull it off?

-Hoot

[jokerman93]

18. Guinness book of Records

This idea SOOOO appeals to me!

World's largest practical joke. Now THAT's thinking outside the box. I like it! It would be great fun, like one of those flash mob things. At the same time around the planet we start taking and sending pictures of relatives and friends' "raptured" autos, bikes, park swings and bedrooms etc. Knowing the talent of many DUers, there's plenty of opportunity for some funny tongue in cheek stuff to get published.

We'll need one photo though. A famous one. You know, that "one of a kind" photo? Rare, grainy, and out of focus, depicting a person actually at the moment of disappearing -- or maybe it's just a bad picture of goat. Maybe we could even add in a hint of an apparition like they do on those Burritos!

We could circulate the photos and do all kinds of analysis on it with fake flame wars. We could get lots of press like the Bigfoot picture or the UFOs! Yes dearies, this could be great fun!!!

Remember the Gospel according to Karl. All we have to do is keep saying it's true and and soon it will be true! Aren't the fundies already programmed to respond to lies with blind faith when the lies are repeated unerringly in the face of all fact and reality? :-)

Bet it would help start a dialog in the media about how wacky America has gotten...

Bring on the Rapture, Baby!!!
:party:
citizen J

[hyphenate]

22. This would be SO cool

if we could do something to get it going. I'll start thinking of some things, and we can get more ideas. Even if it's on a small scale, Drudge and those other idiot right sites love to publish unconfirmed rumors! We do need a plant, though. Someone convincing enough to qualify as a RR but who is as opposite to it as possible!

Maybe we could even get someone like Jon Stewart and TDS involved. Sort of one of Sam Bee's or Rob Corddry's reports.

[lonestarnot]

20. My duck ruptured, does that count?

[proud2BlibKansan]

21. Does intelligent design mean

there will be no more religious fundamentalists?

[hyphenate]

26. Oh, in a couple of generations

at least! :)

[MountainLaurel]

23. Good lord

I know someone who attended a church camp as a teenager where they did exactly that. The camp leaders figured out which kids weren't "saved" and then they contrived some meeting where only those kids showed up, while everyone else was in another part of the camp. Then, just as the unsaved were freaking out, one of the pastors stepped out with a "This is what the Rapture would be like for you if it happened today" speech.

[hyphenate]

25. That sounds like fun

I wonder how many of them had clean underwear after that? :rofl: