Wow! Some lady in South Africa wants to give me $4 million!

[tekriter]

All I gotta do is help her get her $22 million out of Zimbabwe. First thing is, though since she's locked out of her dough is to send HER some expense money so her brother (NOT under arrest like she is) can meet me at the bank, or something.

Until this morning I was feeling left out because I never got one of these before.

My party-pooper wife says we should skip it because all that dough would ruin our lives. I WAS gonna split it with everybody, but NOOOOO.

:silly:

[flakey_foont]

1. South Africa

she must have a sister or cousin in Nigeria....because she wrote to me wanting my help and offered $8 million....

[Bandit]

2. You are supposed to send the money to me as I have a meeting set up

Send your bank account number and some traveling expense money and I will see you receive in your account more than ten million dollars. How can you lose? :evilgrin:

[Az]

3. There is a relatively famous site

created by someone that took these scam artists for a ride of their own. But for the life of me I can't recall the link.

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

4. Yeah, I think the guy who was supposed to be the mark took the

scam artists for five bucks, or something like that. It was pretty funny.

[tekriter]

5. I saw that one - it was great!

n/t

[RedCloud]

6. Too late, I bilked her.

Simply created a bogus bank account that immediately passed on the mega-millions my way and they got confederate dollars. Then she got arrested for the confederate dollars. Pretty nifty, eh?

I guess she is already cruising for another financial bruisin'.

[derby378]

7. SEEKING YOUR IMMEDIATE ASSISTANCE. (Long, but silly)

Please permit me to make your acquaintance in so informal a manner. This is necessitated by my urgent need to reach a dependable and gulli...er, trustworthy foreign partner. This request may seem strange and unsolicited but I beg your indulgence and pray that you view it seriously. You see, I may only appear to be a fellow DUer, but my real name is Field Marshal Guido Gnocchi of the Syndicratic Federal City-State of San Veneficio and one of the close aides to the former Most High Godmother and Chancellor of San Veneficio, Anna-Maria-Theresa Conchiglione, may her soul reach Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows she's dead.

Due to the military campaign of Chancellor Conchiglione to force out
democratic rebels in my country (which lies between Italy and San Marino and is slightly larger than New York's Central Park), I and some of my colleagues were instructed by our late Chancellor to go abroad to purchase firearms, ammunition, and really stinky cheese to fight the rebels. We were then given 25,000,000,000 in San Veneficio leera* privately by our Chancellor without the knowledge of other Cabinet Members, who were all paid off anyway. But when Chancellor Conchiglione unexpectedly died from a sudden and malignant case of cradle cap, we immediately decided to put the funds into a private security company here in San Veneficio for safe keeping. The security of the said amount is presently being threatened here due to the encroachment of the aforementioned rebels, who have set up headquarters in a pasta bistro across the street from the Chancellor's palace and are now taunting us by throwing stale fettucini at the palace guards.

In view of this, I need a reliable and trustworthy suck...er, foreign partner who can assist us to move this money out of my country as the beneficiary. We have sufficient connections here to move the fund under diplomatic cover to a security company in Bermuda in your name. This is to ensure that the diplomatic baggage is marked 'CONFIDENTIAL' and it will not pass through normal custom/airport screening and clearance. Trust us; we're experts at this - we smuggled a complete methamphetamine lab into Surinam by hiding the pieces under our toenails. Yes, we were sore for a while afterwards, but the take was worth it.

Though we have neither seen nor met each other in person, the information I gathered from an associate who has worked in your country (who deals in stolen Social Security numbers on the side at a
check-cashing booth in your city) has encouraged and convinced us that with your sincere assistance and overly trusting nature, this
transaction will be properly handled with modesty and honesty to a huge success within two weeks. Or perhaps by Labor Day. Or maybe Christmas.


If you are willing to assist us in moving this fund out of San Veneficio, you can contact me through my e-mail address. Please supply your bank account number, but please ensure that there is no less than $25,000 in your account as it will help to smooth out the transaction. We'll be happy to enable us discuss the modalities and what will be your share (percentage) for assisting us.

I must use this opportunity and medium to implore you to exercise the utmost indulgence to keep this matter extraordinarily confidential.
Don't alert the FBI, Secret Service, or your local law enforcement agency, as we have ascertained that the rebels have planted sleeper agents in these organizations who are proficient in computer hacking and heavily armed with moldy tortellinis that they use as throwing stars.

Whatever your decision, I await your prompt response. Grazie, bella
Americana.

Best Regards

Field Marshal Guido Gnocchi
Syndicratic Federal City-State of San Veneficio

* Amount stated equals approximately US $17.48