CONFESS!!!! What is your confession?

[EstimatedProphet]

Mine is that I don't confess enough.

[Jackpine Radical]

1. I just farted.

[Doosh]

2. my father voted for George Wallace

[SheepyMcSheepster]

3. i confess that i never confess. nt.

[bearfan454]

4. Well I like to go out of my way to piss off repukes at work.

I emailed a bunch of them this:

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE -
CONVENTION SCHEDULE - New York, NY

6:00 PM - Opening Prayer by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM - Pledge of Homeland Security Allegiance
6:35 PM - Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights
6:45 PM - Bill O' Reilly Weeps over a Plaster Model of the Twin Towers
6:46 PM - Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
7:30 PM - Foreign Policy Discussion: Iraq--How Dare They Shoot Back at Us
7:35 PM - Freedom Fries
7:40 PM - EPA Address #1: 'Depleted Uranium-It's What's For Dinner'.
8:00 PM - Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM - John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos are after your children"
8:30 PM - Singalong: God Bless Wal-Mart
8:50 PM - Seminar #2: Multinational Corporations: Government of the Future
9:00 PM - Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' that Man o' Mine"
9:05 PM - Neal Boortz Declares Ariel Sharon "The Ultimate Libertarian"
9:10 PM - EPA Address #2: 'Trees: The real cause of forest fires'
9:30 PM - Break for secret meeting with Henry Kissinger
10:00 PM - Second prayer led by Pat Robertson and Sean Hannity
10:15 PM - Lecture by Karl Rove: Orwellian Doublespeak Made Easy
10:30 PM - Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM - Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM - John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM - Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM - Analysis: How Saddam Made our Gasoline Prices Go Up
10:50 PM - Ceremonial Constitution Toilet Wipe
11:20 PM - Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: "Harry Potter: The Dangerous New Cult"
11:25 PM - Natalie Maines Piñata Bash
11:30 PM - Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM - Singalong: Blame Clinton
11:40 PM - Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM - Closing Prayer by Jesus Christ Himself (played by Michael Savage)
12:00AM - Nomination of George W. Bush as Most Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord



"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you

[Angelus]

6. ROFL!

I've never seen that before!

I just spit milk all over the place!

[Angelus]

5. ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I CONFESS!

I did it. :(

[salinen]

7. O.K. I confess

Jesus told me not to invade Iraq.

W.

[Whitacre D_WI]

8. Bless me father, for I have sinned.

It has been 15 years since my last confession.

Since that time:
I have had 185,921 impure thoughts,
Committed 19,418 impure acts,
Lied a couple thousand times,
Worshipped graven images,
Failed to keep holy the Sabbath,
Hell -- you know the 10 commandments? I broke 'em.
Okay, not the "murder" one. I didn't kill anybody.
Received the Eucharist at Xmas, even though I deny the divinity of Jesus.
Ate pork and shellfish.
A lot.
Mixed meat and milk.
A lot.
Hey, father -- you ever take the purity test?

[MallRat]

9. My confession... ummm...

I wish you would have given me this written question ahead of time, so I could plan for it.

You know, I just... I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this discussion board, with all the pressure of trying to come up with an answer, but it hadn't yet.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some must-calls. Sorry.

-MR

[K8-EEE]

10. I Flirted Outrageously With A RW Nut For YEARS!!

Unbeknownst to me though. Seriously I was floored and disgusted with myself when I heard this guy go off on a Freeper type rant after the "liberation" broke out....UGH!!!!!!! Check please!

The worst part of it is we are both married, happily married at that...write it off to a mid-life crisis, I guess! Glad it didn't go any farther than outrageous flirtation, I guess I should be happy he turned out to be a closet Dittohead.

UGH!

[TrogL]

11. I don't practice enough

I have a rehearsal tonight for which I don't know the music.

I have a rehearsal Thursday for which I don't know the music.

I have a church service Sunday for which I don't know the music.

I have a concert Sunday night for which I don't know the music.