What's the funniest thing (person/movie/tv show/book/etc) EVER?

[Bossy Monkey]

No restrictions; what's made you laugh hardest in your life? Standup comedians, whatever.

For me, it was "Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K. Jerome, but I think this was culture shock induced mania. It was loaned to me by the French family I was staying with for a week during a study tour of France between junior and senior years in high school. I laughed so hard that I think I worried them. However, I read it again later on home turf and barely cracked a smile.

Thus, the winner for all time, and for repeated viewings, is Richard Jeni's fabulous "lint-sucking stumps that melted" routine. If you've never heard it, well, you'll probably have to hope that HBO decides to rerun really old standup specials, 'cause I'm not sure it's available for sale. Truly the funniest thing ever; people have died laughing.

You?

[MissMillie]

1. Victor Borga

I love the punctuation stuff, and the inflationary language.... all of it. The man was just too funny.

[Commendatori]

2. Strangely enough, it was a Robin Williams bit,

even though I'm not a fan of his. He was doing a standup act, and in a Scottish accent, explained his theory about how golf was invented.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. Oh, man, I almost passed out during that one

That is truly hilarious! In the top 5 of all time funniest things I've ever seen/heard.

OMG, I was laughing so hard I was worried I was doing something awful to myself.

"No! We do it seventeen more foking times!"

[Commendatori]

34. That's the one!

No, into a little fokkin' gopher hole!

[MissMillie]

12. I've heard this

it's very funny.

[skypilot]

3. The book "Naked" by...

...David Sedaris. Laugh out loud funny and also beautifully written.

[Bossy Monkey]

40. Also "Me Talk Pretty One Day" especially 'You Can't Kill the Rooster'

which I saw him read to a very appreciative crowd at UGA. It's a 200-odd mile drive from here and it was a few weeks after 9/11, so an odd time for humor, but we didn't regret the drive for a second.

For my part, I once tried to read selections from "Me Talk Pretty" to a group of friends; absolutely impossible to get through with a straight face.

[LastKnight]

4. bush trying to pronouce 'abu gharib' nt

[FleshCartoon]

23. Oh yeah.

And that, too. LOL.

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. The Beavis and Butthead movie

I've never laughed so hard during a movie - though Monsters, Inc. and the South Park movie come close - than Beavis and Butthead. At times it was painful, I was laughing so much, and at times desperately gasping for air.

[jpgray]

7. Not very esoteric, but in the MST3K episode 'Pod People'

Crow (Trace Beaulieu) did a voice-over for the funny little ALF/hellbeast alien as he perused the various pets of his little boy friend that was absolutely hilarious. I was watching with a few friends, and it had a similar effect on all of us. :D

[FleshCartoon]

26. Little wing-ed potatos?

Heh. I like that, too. I also loved when they did the voice for the kitten.

[Commendatori]

8. Oh, regarding Richard Jeni, his best bit was on "Jaws 3." (n/t)

[Bossy Monkey]

41. "Here's a fish; you're stupid" (quote from the bit, mods, not an ad hom)

Also very very funny, but didn't leave me on the floor having laughed myself an appendectomy like the other one. It might be a dysfunctional family thing, as my siblings all fell over to exactly the same extent watching the former routine.

[Commendatori]

63. The Jaws thing was a lot funnier to me

"The shark has BEATEN THE JET to the Bahamas." :)

[Papa]

9. 1st time I saw Triumph the Insult comic Dog spoof the Star Wars fans

I died laughing. Also that Star Wars Kid if anyone ever saw that.

[jpgray]

11. That was hilarious too

Regarding the pregnant Star Wars fan:

'You do realize that this will be the last time your sone ever sees female gentialia?'

:D

[Ducklord]

10. Not sure it's the funniest EVER, but...

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly," is certainly in the Top 10 in *my* immediate family.

Mike.

[MissMillie]

13. That one was funny

WKRP.... good stuff

[Whitacre D_WI]

14. A bear with its ass on fire.

Former denizens of 3rd floor, Blaisdell Hall at Beloit College will know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

Hello? Hel-looo? Anybody out there?

[geniph]

15. Young Frankenstein

I just can't top it for the number of laugh-out-loud parts and quotable lines.

"There wolf! There castle!"
"Why are you talking that way?"
"I thought you wanted to."
"No, no, I don't want to."
"Suit yourself, I'm easy."

[tsakshaug]

18. Could be worse...could be raining

I use that often and people look at me funny

[SPQR]

39. You and me both....

"Seda-GIVE?!"

[BigMcLargehuge]

16. JImmy Breslin's "The Gang that Couldn't Shoot Straight"

is the funniest book I've ever read.

As for commedians - These change so frequently, and I end up knowing the bits so well... but the first comedy record I ever heard that made me gasp for breath with laughter was Bill Cosby's "Why is there Air" LP.

Funniest movie I've ever seen - South Park: Bigger Longer Uncut.

Funniest song - Shatner singing Mister Tambourine Man

Funniest TV show -
Current: Aqua Teen Hunger Force/Harvey Birdman Attorney at Law
Past: Seinfeld/News Radio

[tsakshaug]

17. last time I remember laughing

Was watching MST3K.

[BigMcLargehuge]

19. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank was reallllllly funny

I never watched it all the way through on Sci Fi channel, but spent a night with it on DVD and nearly peed my pants.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

20. Roland Atkinson

he's so funny he makes me cry...and has physical comedy NAILED!

[ceile]

35. I'm partial to Black Adder

But I'm torn as to which of those I like best. And it's Rowan, not Roland.

[burythehatchet]

67. Mr answer also

Mr. Bean . The bit in the church. The first time I saw it (granted, I was quite buzzed) I laughed until it hurt.

[sundog]

21. Margaret Cho "I'm the One that I Want"...

I'm sure there are others that made me laugh harder before, but this is the best in my recent memory---

Of course there's always Ren & Stimpy when sufficiently baked...

[FleshCartoon]

22. Many.

People: Christopher Guest, Carol Kane, Madeline Kahn, John Cleese, Ardal O'Hanlon, Peter Sellers, Dudley Moore & Peter Cook (together), Rowan Atkinson.

TV Shows: Fawlty Towers, Taxi, Father Ted, The Dick VanDyke Show, Red Dwarf, MST3K, South Park, WKRP In Cincinatti, Mr. Bean, Black Adder.

Movies: A Fish Called Wanda, Spinal Tap, Best In Show, Young Frankenstein, The Princess Bride, Dr. Strangelove, Bedazzled (the original).

Books: The Hotel New Hampshire (funniest ever)

[jus_the_facts]

24. MONTY PYTHON......

....everything they've done has CRACKED ME UP...started watchin' 'em on PBS back in the day...Monty Python's Flyin' Circus...then I saw...HOLY GRAIL....and THEN...when I watched THE MEANING OF LIFE....that was THE FUNNIEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME...and still makes me LAAUGH OUT LOUD EVER SINGLE TIME I WATCH IT! :D :crazy: :7

[Bossy Monkey]

47. Noooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Also the taunting scenes from Holy Grail still kill me all these years later.

[livetohike]

25. A friend from back home

who was as funny and spontaneous as Robin Williams. He (friend) is responsible for most of the laugh lines in my face. :-)

He couldn't make a reunion of old friends, so he sent a video pieced together with pictures from our childhood and old music. Still funny. His father called us "The Motley Crew". (many years before the band)

[amber dog democrat]

27. Richard Pryor ( sp? )

back in the 80s, was absolutely wonderful.... I liked some of Sinbad's routines too.
Robin Williams - often.

Book.... hmm...
Dead Souls by Gogol, The Master and Magarita but Bulgakov.... The Russian Debutantes Handbook.... this is a trend isnt it?

Movies.. hmmm..
Dr Strangelove, Life of Brian, and John Waters, Female Trouble....for a few.

TV SHOWS..... I used to love watching Lawrence Welk with the sound turned off.
Ernie Kofax, South Park, Cheers, ( sometimes ) Sienfeld, ( sometimes ),
and....the OLD Saturday Night Live when Bilushi, Eddie Murphy, Chevy Chase, and Steve Martin were there... Simpsons sometimes.

[russian33]

28. 'History of the World Part I'

and any other Mel Brooks film

[SmileyBoy]

29. The episode of Ren and Stimpy entitled "Ren Needs Help".

It was an episode banned by Nickelodeon. In this one, Ren becomes insane, and needs to be put in the loony bin. A bunch of REALLY FUCKING FUNNY SHIT happens in that cartoon. It's the best of all time. And YES, it was made after John K left the shaw, SO WHAT??? Bob Camp still kept the show funny as hell after he left, IMO.

[sundog]

51. I liked "Space Madness" -- one of the first...

like an acid trip gone wrong...

[DerekG]

52. "Space Madness" is my kind of humor...

"We're not hitch-hiking anymore, we're riding!"

The Happy Happy Joy Joy episode is my second favorite. It's pure dementia.

[SmileyBoy]

54. Folks, you gotta watch the later episodes, the "diamonds in the rough".

There were some FUCKING HILARIOUS episodes made even after John K left. Anyone who says the show was ruined after John K left didn't watch any of the later episodes. Bob Camp pushed the envelope as well, probably more so. Bob Camp made two other banned episodes from Nickelodeon after John K left.

[ThoughtCriminal]

58. Don't touch it you Fool!

It's the history eraser button!

What'll Happen?

Maybe something good...
Maybe something bad...
I guess we'll never know, cause your going to to guard it.

--- Maybe one of the funniest things I've watched since Duck Soup (My pick).

[SmileyBoy]

68. "You won't touch it, will you???"

:D:D:D

[bif]

30. P.G. Woodehouse

Makes me laugh out lout. Also, the 2 Richard Pryor standup movies along with the Robin Williams standup movie. Then there's Spinal Tap. And the National Lampoon "Lemmings" album. So many truly funny things.

[XNASA]

31. Kevin Spacey's impersonation of Jack Lemmon auditioning for the role....

..of Chewbacca on SNL.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Jack Lemmon, Chewbacca screen test. Take one.

SPACEY (as Jack Lemmon): OK, excuse me, before we put the spaghetti in the machine, can someone tell me what the hell one of these Chewbacca things is?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, he's a wookie, Jack.

SPACEY: A what? And what the hell is a wookie?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's like a space ape.

SPACEY: Oh, that's terrific. You had me drive all the way from Beverly Hills to play a (BEEP) space ape?

I'm going to take a dump in this (BEEP) mask is what I'm going to do.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Jack, please put it on.

SPACEY: Why can't I audition for Obi Wan? You've got Matthau screen testing. I would be a terrific Obi Wan.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Can you please put the mask on.

SPACEY: Oh, go (BEEP) yourself.

Spacey's impersonation of Chris Walken auditioning for Hans Solo was a riot as well.

[Richardo]

37. Spacey's Jack Lemmon is priceless...

"There's a gloom in this room you could shake with a stick."

[KissMyAsscroft]

32. Acid.

And my old friend Cody while I was ON acid.

[johnnie]

33. George Calin

Live from Madison Square Garden. I was laughing so hard at some of those bits I couldn't breath. I would have to watch it again to see if I still find it as funny.
I don't read many "funny" books, but Carl Hiaasen has made me laugh before.

[Richardo]

36. "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"

Saw it in the theater and made a fool of myself laughing out loud.

Actually, the same thing happened with "The In-Laws" (the FIRST one with Alan Arkin and Peter Falk.)

[Beware the Beast Man]

38. The first time I heard a Wesley Willis CD

It was the third track before I realized every song is the same, except in different tempos and keys. I thought my gut would burst. I didnt mean to laugh (for those who don't know Wesley Willis was schizophrenic), but to play literally the same song for an enitre album was hilarious to me.

[Blue-Jay]

42. This.Is.Spinal.Tap!

funniest movie ever!

Also, I'll give a nod to Eddie Izzard's HBO special.

[Skittles]

65. Spinal Tap is my choice too, Blue-Jay

I laugh so hard every time I see it. :D

[Bossy Monkey]

66. Boy, was I unlucky on that one!

It was playing at a little art-movie multiplex (yes you read that right) in Philadelphia. We arrived early and wandered the lobby and found that they'd posted a review. I'm one of those people who reads everything, down to ingredient lists on cereal boxes, so naturally I had to read it. Unfortunately, Mr Reviewer included all the jokes, or if not all, at least a solid majority. We sat through the movie stony-faced, at least until drummers started exploding at the end. (I guess leaving that out was Reviewer Guy's idea of avoiding spoilers.)

Years and years later, when the memory had faded, I rented it and was able to appreciate it properly, and certainly agree with you and Skittles that it's among the very funniest of movies. (By the way, can you believe nobody's said "Airplane!"?) But boy, what a bad experience, and what a bad reviewer!

[maveric]

43. Eddie Murphy from "Delirious". Jackie Gleason impression.

With a gay Ralph Kramden instructing Norton to perform anal sex on him.
Anyone remember that one?

[GhostThatWalks]

44. when ever me and my best friend get together.

We both do the stupidest things when we are together. The thing that we did that I find the funniest was when he came with me and my family to the hard rock hotel in Orlando, FL. We found some strollers on the side walk and had the great idea of one riding in it while the the other pushed. We found all kinds of fun things to do, like to push it into the swiming pool and run it down stairs and into garbage cans. the best part was when I was riding in it and it tippid over backwards and folded while I was in it. I couldn't get out and every one around me was laghing to tears. It was great especially when I found out that my whole family was wathing from the window.

[Dying Eagle]

45. Ok ,this is good

Once when i was stoned I laughed so hard i through up, I.........I..........don't remember why, hmmmm

[Khephra]

46. Black Adder

[Burma Jones]

48. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

or Sleeper

or Bravis and Butthead Do America

[marigold20]

49. Three Men in a Boat!!!

I can't believe it. Mr. Marigold had the same experience with this book as a young man and nearly died from hysterical laughter. I found the book at the library and read it. I tried my best, but the laughs were few and far between. Sadly, Mr. M read it again and it just wasn't the same for him. Some things just can't be re-lived.

[Bossy Monkey]

53. Wow! Too freaky! Was he 17 and staying with a French family, too? n/t

[Insider]

50. carol liefer doing standup

i think it was COMEDY CLUB SUPERSTARS video

long island girl:
"michael, listen to me, michael! taste my Tab. i think it's a coke!"

shopping NYC ladies:
"betty, b-b-b-betty. see this blouse? they have it in puce too"

that routine she did made me cry laffin week after week after week while i was sitting in kansas for 3 years.

[Bryan]

55. Chris Rock, _Bring the Pain_

This entire special is brilliant (a word that, incidentally, I try to avoid using out of restraint). I've never laughed harder at anything than I did at the "tossing salads" bit (partly because of the shock from the first viewing), but it's still fantastic upwards of twenty (yep, twenty-plus) viewings later.

"We don't need prayer in schools! We need the Tossed Salad Man in schools!

'Jimmy, you got a D, you know what you've gotta do.'
'NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOO! I'ma read! I'ma learn to read!'"

[kodi]

56. "breakfast of champions" vonnegut

for those of us who have read it dozens of times, there is nothing quite like it.

i first read it in high school and it remains my favorite book and it is the most warped and funny piece of literature ever written.

did i mention it has great drawings too?

[Dogmudgeon]

57. What's Up, Doc?

Funniest movie I ever saw. A New Leaf is a close #2. Lord Love A Duck is probably #3; You're A Big Boy Now is another hilarious movie from the 1960s.

The South Park movie was also up there.

Incredibly enough, I thought Freddy Got Fingered had long stretches of hilarity (punctuated by frequent short stretches of non-humor).

SNL's recent recurring-character couple played by Amy Poehler and Chris Kattan as the fighting hillbilly couple.

Books? How about Tom Sharpe's recent output -- the Wilt tryptych, especially. Jonathan Winters in Winters' Tales has some asphyxiatingly funny stories.

The Loved One is the best movie-and-book combo, ever. The Hot Rock comes close -- book by Donald Westlake.

The Whole Nine Yards is a recent movie you should see; Three Kings for comedy-drama.

Damn! I'm neglecting too many others.

--bkl

[richmwill]

59. The Uncle Floyd Show, and Dennis Wolfberg's "Proctologist" bit (n/t)

[Angelus]

60. Beavis and Butt-Head Do America.

Funniest. Movie. Ever.

[ThoughtCriminal]

61. Bugs Bunny

with Elmer Fudd in "What's Opera Doc?"

More "Milk passing fun":

-The Marx Brothers in "Duck Soup" (Mirror scene)
-"Ghostbusters" - Important safety tip - thanks Egon
-"Blazing Saddles" - Camp Town Races scene
-"The Three Amigos" - an underated gem

SNL -
When Robots Attack
Sequels to "Citizen Kane" and "It's a Wonderful Life"
The Untouchables (Where's that voice?)
Lucy putting whipped creme and cherrys on H-Bombs
Steve Martin singing "King Tut"
Chris Farley - "Living in a van down by the river"
Happy Fun Ball

MST3K - "Space Mutiny"

SCTV - 3CP-1 Television

Pixar Shorts

[VOX]

62. Fawlty Towers -- "The Germans" episode!

This episode originally aired in the UK in 1975, but I didn't see it until PBS ran it in 1977. I don't know if I've ever laughed as hard since. Absolute genius, in writing, timing and delivery.
http://www.fawltysite.net/episode06.htm
Some Germans are staying at Fawlty Towers so don't mention the war. Basil mentioned it once but he thinks he got away with it. Only trouble is, after receiving a knock to the head rendering him even less sensitive than before, he can't stop mentioning it.

Basil proceeds to mention the war at every opportunity, upsetting the German guests more and more as he rapidly descends into a fit of xenophobic ranting about everything and everyone that most Germans would rather forget.

When the fed up German asks Basil to stop going on about the war, Basil kindly reminds him that they started it. “We did not start it,” protests the German. “Yes you did, you invaded Poland”, replies Basil.

[noonwitch]

64. Belushi's Samurai

in any of the sketches.

Some of "The Simpsons" episodes are so funny, too, like most of the Sideshow Bob ones and the one where the aunt takes the kids to Duff Land.