Followup on the Teen Sex poll

[Xithras]

A few days ago I posted a poll looking for opinions on how to handle a situation where a 12 year old girl was caught having sex with a 17 year old boy. I was asked to post a followup to let everyone know what happened. I remind you that I'm not the one that found them or called the police, but it was actually a post by a DU'er here that convinced my coworker to make the call and turn them in. Oh, and if you missed the first thread, it can be found here: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=1216545

Over half of the people who responded to the poll felt that he should just forget about it, and more than one person seemed irritated that he'd think about interfering at all. I'm glad I didn't listen to those people.

My coworker called the police after he got home, shortly after my last post in that thread. The police questioned the girl, who admitted what had happened, and then took the boy into custody for molesting a child under the age of 14. He's now going to be facing some extremely serious charges.

Turns out, this story was even sicker than we knew...those of you who thought that there was "more" to the story were dead on correct. Apparently, about two years ago, the girls parents had begun regularly hiring the then 15 year old boy to babysit all of their children, including the then ten year old girl. The story she told the police, which the boy has apparently already admitted to, was that he began regularly molesting her following the first time he babysat, and that they had their first penetrative sex just before the girls 11th birthday.

When the girl was about 11 1/2, the girls fundie mother apparently walked in on them kissing. Both claimed that it was the first time it had ever happened, so the mother simply fired the boy and wrote it off to the simple experimentation of two teenage kids :eyes:

By this time, the poor girl was confused and convinced that she was in "love" with him, and continued to sneak out for sexual trysts at 11 years old. She became slavishly dedicated to him to the point that she screwed two of his friends while he watched (while she was still 11) simply because "that's what he wanted"...talk about TWISTED! The two other boys (who were 14 or 15 at the time) haven't been arrested or charged yet, but that may happen soon as well.

The girls fundie parents didn't react badly as we'd originally feared, because they're looking at it as a simple molestation/rape/brainwashing, and aren't holding any of it against her (which they shouldn't, of course). He DID mention the fundie dad's abuse of the other kids to the investigating officers, and they said that they'd look into that, but nothings come of it yet (the police are more interested in the molester than a dad that smacks his son around).

I'd like to thank those of you that recommended calling, even though the poll numbers were running against you. This little girl is going to need some serious counseling to straighten her head out, because she still insists that she's in love with him and wants to defend him, but your responses helped convince my co worker to call the police, which unintentionally saved this girl from an absolutely evil sexual predator.

DU'ers ROCK! :yourock:

[KissMyAsscroft]

1. Keep in mind that this 17 year old kid....

as horrible as what he did was, will now be put through the system and screwed for life.

I'm not saying that that is right or wrong...he deserves punishment...but he is going to get the book thrown at him.

There are really no winners in this case.

[IranianDemocrat]

2. That's true but I really don't give a shit.

He should have kept his dick in his pants.

[Xithras]

4. He screwed a 10 YEAR OLD GIRL

Look, if you go back and reread my posts in the original thread, I was thinking the same thing at one time. If a 17 year old boy hooked up with a willing 12 year old girl, should he really be branded for life for making one mistake?

But that isn't the story anymore. This guy molested and abused this girl physically and psychologically FOR YEARS. He used her for sex and entertainment, apparently without ever giving a moments thought to the fact that this was another human being.

Castrate him :grr:

[slackmaster]

10. I wonder how many other girls he may have used as "entertainment"

Good thing he's out of circulation.

[dr.strangelove]

7. Liberal doesn't mean stupid

I was 17 and knew it was flat out wrong to f* a 12 year old. I'm all for getting to the root of this 17 year olds problems and getting him rehabilitation assistance while in the can. A 17 year old wanting to have sex with a 12 year old is clear pedophilia. There are many times I feel the punishment does not fit the crime, but molesting a child is possibly the most disturbing criminal activity. He should be punished severely. I also don't agree that his life is ruined. If he can acknowledge the severity of his criminal behavior, there are programs in house for him. If I were his lawyer (I'm an attorney) I'd seek placement in a treatment program as part of his plea agreement. Unless he's in a mandatory minimum state, he likely won't do more than 7-10 years. I have had plenty of clients who have made a good life upon release when they are still under 30. The real issue that we as a society have to balance is the need to protect children from a predator, and the need to ensure criminals who serve a just sentence are entitled to life after prison. Here it is no contest which is more important. Children need more protection than most adults. Keeping a man "off the street" who would take advantage of a 12 year old and encourage (or force) her to engage in group sex deserves more effort than concerning myself with that same man's ability to re-enter society. If his life is ruined, I won't lose any sleep. I will fight for government funding of programs that assist reformed criminals re-enter society. I will continue to fight mandatory minimums. I will try to feel compassion for the situation this young man has found himself in. However I will do my best to prevent him from attacking any other 12 year olds. Until he can convince an early release board that he is reformed and does not pose a risk to other children, I am convinced that prison is an appropriate place for him. Lock him up, but don't throw away the key.

[JohnLocke]

3. Wow.

I voted you should talk to the boy's parents.

[iconoclastic cat]

5. I feel no pity for that 17 year old.

He's a predator. I guarantee that if he's not monitored--and maybe if he is--he'll be doing this and worse by 20, 30, etc. Your friend probably stopped some parents from having their children abducted in a few years.

[KissMyAsscroft]

6. Of course he will...

100 bucks says he was abused. it's a cycle. That's what I meant by there are no winners.

[slackmaster]

8. Right on the money

You cannot ignore signs that someone may be a sexual predator especially when it's as obvious as this case.

The biggest crime story of 2002 here in San Diego was the disappearance of 7-year-old Danielle Van Dam. It turned out she was kidnapped, molested, murdered, and dumped by a man in his 50s who had given just a few hints in the past that he was a pedophile. I've often wondered what other indications David Westerfield may have given earlier in his life that if spotted by an alert person might have prevented this horrible tragedy.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/danielle/

[slackmaster]

9. My first "serious" girlfriend had some of the same symptoms

Her first experience with sex was being molested by a trusted family friend. She was 12 and he was in his 50s. At my naive age (we were both in our late teens when we met) it took a few years before I understood just how messed up she was sexually. She liked sex a lot and was very skilled at using it to manipulate people. She's had a lot of very bad psychiatric problems as an adult. She abandoned her own children in a selfish pursuit of sex.

the police are more interested in the molester than a dad that smacks his son around

As they should be, though the smacking around likely hints at other problems yet to surface.

your responses helped convince my co worker to call the police, which unintentionally saved this girl from an absolutely evil sexual predator.

I'm one of the people who said to call the police, but I'd like to confess that my thinking was a bit self-centered at the time. I was putting myself into the place of the man who was trying to make the decision, and put his personal interests and those of his family well ahead of the 12-year-old victim.

I was thinking of the worst possible outcomes for him - What might happen if the girl, for example, decided to break up with the 17-year-old and accused him of forcibly raping her. I visualized several ways that man could get into legal hot water for not having called the police regardless of how much of a menace the 17-year-old actually represented. As a homeowner, no dirtbag 17-year-old's freedom to molest "consenting" young girls is worth my losing house in legal fees or going to prison.

I was also acting on a visceral instinct to "protect" the 12-year-old, who is a child and therefore innocent in my mind as well as the eyes of the law. I hope the girl gets the help she needs, and that she can be helped.

Thanks for the update on this very sad situation.

[Xithras]

11. You, more than anyone, led to the unconvering of this

Regardless of the reasons behind it, it was your post about the legal requirements in California that prompted him to call. As I said in the original thread, he was leaning towards forgetting the whole thing and writing it off as a runin with a couple of promiscuous kids until I forwarded him your post. I work at a college and my coworker is actually an adjunct teacher, so any legal charges resulting from this could have cost him his job. That realization led him to call, which uncovered this whole sordid mess.

I realize that this is kind of odd to think about, but your one post may have saved this 12 year old girl from years of continued molestation and abuse, and who knows what kind of life after.

:yourock:

[slackmaster]

12. Aw, shucks

A lot of valid and insightful viewpoints were presented in the thread. I'm a butt-coverer. Never give anyone power that can be used or misused to ruin you. I always ask a lawyer or other expert when I'm not sure what to do.

Here's to you for helping your friend!

:toast: