I have 1000 people on my ignore list ... and counting.

[arwalden]

So you better be nice to me and laugh at all my jokes and not make fun of Queers and atheists and skeptics. If you don't respond to this message, then it means you're not paying attention to me... so I'll put you on ignore. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

You better learn to spell too! And I've told you a million times to quit exaggerating so if you do that I'm puttin' you on ignore.

You should avoid using clichés like the plague. If you use fad phrases like "w00t" then I'll put you on ignore.

It's not like I've got anything against you... I'm just looking to ONLY read messages that will challenge me and make me a better person. I'm not a snob or anything, I just want to ONLY associate with people who are as good as (or better than) I am. I don't have time to make YOU a better person, so if you're not a high-quality person who always agrees with me, then you're going on ignore.

Vegetarians? On ignore!

If I don't like your avatar, I'll put you on ignore too. Also, if I can't figure out what your avatar is supposed to be... you go on ignore. Nothing personal... I just don't like some avatars.

Your sig line too big? You're on ignore! I prefer sig lines that are clever, funny, or though provoking and patriotic. Too many words in a sig line is a turn off for me, so you'll be ignored too.

If your tin foil hat is wound too tightly, then I'm puttin you on ignore. I don't like people who are paranoid. They're always watching me and printing out copies of what I write here to use against me later. I think they've even tapped my telephone line and a couple of them might even be following me.

Have a nice day.

-- Allen


P.S. If I find out you're under voting age... or if you drive an SUV, you're going on ignore!

[Throckmorton]

1. Can I have your baby,

or at least the right to have your baby, even if I do have to keep the fetus in a cardboard box?

[arwalden]

3. "Right. You're in."

"Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front. "

[Racenut20]

2. You convinced me.

I am going to put you on ignore for being a snob.

[oblivious]

4. Good one...I love the "...and counting" part

Like, if you don't start giving me the lovin I deserve, you could all end up on my ignore list ... that's right, every last one of you.

[Dying Eagle]

5. I kann speel

it not lice theyre is knot a speel chaker at tha bootom of tha padge.

[MikeG]

6. I haven't put anyone on ignore yet.

I'm saving that for really obnoxious people.

[LynneSin]

7. YOU SKEPTICAL GOD-HATING QUEER

if you ignore me I'll kick your ass

:loveya:

[arwalden]

8. Subject Line In All Caps? You're Going On Ignore!

-- Allen

[LynneSin]

9. I don't like those 2 dashes in front of your name

so you're pushing to be on my ignore list

Plus that little something we share in common - creepy!!! I think you're stalking me!!!

[arwalden]

11. I Consider Unauthorized Use Of "CONFESS!!!!" To Be An Offense...

worthy of being added to my ignore list. You just let me know who PISSES YOU OFF and I'll teach them a lesson they won't soon forget.

Those bastards are going on my INGORE LIST!

-- Allen

[LynneSin]

13. I see I have my ways with you

:D

[arwalden]

10. Copycat Threads? If I See It... You're Going On Ignore Too...

Copycat threads are the WORST! It means you can't think for yourself. You have to take cheap shots at others with puns and monkey-see-monkey-do humor.

Well, I'm here to tell you it's not funny. It doesn't challenge my mind and it proves that I'm better than you are.

Consider yourselves put on notice. If I see a HINT of a copycat thread, then you get put on ignore... AND I'LL IMMEDIATELY HIDE YOUR THREAD.

And if anyone responds to a copycat thread, THEY get put on ignore.

-- Allen

[LynneSin]

12. wow, I'm destined for your ignore list

:loveya:

[mopaul]

14. I will NOT be ignored!

just TRY to ignore my obnoxious ass, i double dog dare ya punk.

i didn't come here to be ignored, i can go anywhere for that.

"....I'd rather be dead, than ignored",

.......a famous person from a long time ago

[LynneSin]

15. Mo - who would want to ignore you???

I mean, your sig line alone keeps you off most ignore lists

[arwalden]

16. Are You Quoting Movie Lines? Is That "Alex" From "Fatal Attraction"?

[Susang]

65. I hope you don't have any pet rabbits at home

Otherwise, there might be trouble! }(

[terrya]

17. I hope I'm not on your ignore list eom

[arwalden]

18. Only If You Start Using That Damn "Bouncy" Green Smiley Guy...

anyone who uses that emoticon... take heed... you will be ignored.

-- Allen

[terrya]

19. Not in this lifetime. Or any other, for that matter. eom

[Misunderestimator]

34. Hmm

:bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce:

[arwalden]

36. You're Treadin' On Thin-Ice, Missy!

-- Allen

[Misunderestimator]

39. Moi...? Je ne comprends pas...

...how about people who use a foreign language for absolutely no reason?

[arwalden]

42. Foreign Language Users... ON INGORE!

You're readin' my mind.

-- Allen

P.S. Mind Readers... IGNORED!

[Misunderestimator]

47. I thought so... however, is it as bad to be INGORED as IGNORED?

Just asking ... I mean to be ingored sounds kinda painful.

:bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce::bounce:

[arwalden]

48. It's WORSE! (See message #22 for additional details).

Ya nut!

-- Allen

[Misunderestimator]

49. Cool, then, I'm nust racking them up!

Why have you not ignored me then?

On edit... I think I know... you are secretly a Lesbian, aren't you?

[arwalden]

51. Some Lesbian Troublemakers Get A Free Pass

for many Lesbian offenses that would otherwise land them in my special Lesbian IGNORE list. I've learned that Lesbians and Lesbian lovers and Lesbian friends often post their controversial Lesbian messages. Those militant Lesbian posts can help to flush out the REAL trouble makers.

-- Allen*

*who likes the sound of the word "Lesbian". --- Lesbian.

[Misunderestimator]

54. LOL

:bounce:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

87. I think it sounds like something from outer space

[Blue-Jay]

20. Let's see....

On one hand, "You better learn to spell too!".

On the other, "I prefer sig lines that are clever, funny, or though provoking and patriotic."

The self-ignore feature is now turned on!

[arwalden]

22. WARNING: Nit-Pickers Get Put On Ignore Too

You best watch it, Mister Man. I'm keepin' my eye on you.

-- Allen

[Blue-Jay]

23. How about picnickers?

I could go for a grilled bratwurst right about now.

[arwalden]

25. Only If You're Willing To Bring Along REAL Picnic Supplies...

Paper plates and plastic forks and solo-cups for me. None of this pretentious china and silverware picnic stuff in a wicker basket with a red-checkered blanket. Phooey!

No lite beer.
No bottled wine... only the good stuff... in a BOX!
No "honey" mustard or "brown" mustard. Only American YELLOW mustard.
No fat-free mayo or "miracle" whip. Just the REAL stuff.
No special ordering of hamburgers when I'm grilling. Everything is cooked "medium". Take it or leave it (or cook it yourself).

I only picnic with people who have a 'gravitas' that's similar to mine. Otherwise... I put them on ignore.

-- Allen

[fudge stripe cookays]

91. No brown mustard or un-boxed wine?

NOW who's treading on thin ice??

Philistine.

[arwalden]

95. Philistine?? Comments Like That Belong In The I/P Forum!!

I'm clicking ALERT! (Right after I drink some more wine out of this box.)

-- Allen

[arwalden]

21. Anyone Who Thinks "eom" or "n/t" Goes INSIDE The Message...

gets put on ignore. Everyone knows that the purpose of "nt" is so that you don't bother CLICKING the message to find out there's nothing inside.

Why would anyone put "nt" inside an empty message?? It's like saying "ha-ha... nothing's here... made ya look!"

It's just STUPID and if you do it, then I'm putting you on ignore. So don't do it.

-- Allen

[TOhioLiberal]

24. How do you like my Avatar?

does my Sig line meet with your approval?
Not a vegetarian or vegan!
W00t<---aw shit, now I'm on 'ignore'

Trekkerlass

[arwalden]

27. LOL!

[TOhioLiberal]

28. does this mean...

...you're giving me another chance? AWWWWW thanks! yer the best...D'oh! Back to ignore!

[jukes]

26. i reject your intolerance

that's it, i'm leaving & don't try begging me to stay.


:+

[arwalden]

29. Posters Of Dramatic Goodbye Forever Threads? ON IGNORE!!

So don't bother to come back after posting a dramatic "goodbye cruel DU" thread. Nobody will know it, because you'll be on ignore.

My ignore list is downloaded and copied by EVERYONE (who's anyone important) so if you're gonna be a DRAMA QUEEN about it... you might as well never come back.

Or you COULD just start your OWN anti-DU forum... that might work for ya! But if you do... I'll put you on ignore for that too.

-- Allen

[0007]

30. Anyone using the broken clock clichés gets my attention real fast

They definitely go on ignore.

[arwalden]

31. Thread Kickers Go On Ignore...

People who arrogantly kick their OWN threads to the top (simply because nobody has responded in 20 minutes) are not the kind low-esteem and self-doubting personalities that I want to associate with.

-- Allen

[terrya]

32. I agree, they're the worst. eom

[Zomby Woof]

33. people who tell me what is being posted on FR

Or any other RW site - ignore! :nuke:

[arwalden]

35. You're My HERO!!

That's a good one.

[Susang]

66. Ridicule, then ignore!

All things in their proper order, after all! ;-)

[arwalden]

80. "Blah-blah-blah... So THERE!" And Don't Bother Replying...

because I've got you on ignore.

Yet oddly enough, they will always reply to the reply you were instructed NOT to leave which they shouldn't have been able to see in the first place if you had TRULY been put on ignore. Sigh.

Maybe the ignore feature should be IRREVERSIBLE! Or it should have a one month TIME CLOCK on it. That way you can't ignore and unignore to suit your purposes... and you can't leave someone on ignore forever after you've LONG forgotten why you put them on ignore in the first place. (Someone suggest that to Skinner for me.)

-- Allen

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

37. Put me on ignore...and the duck gets it

Fair warning: I've got your duck and I can make him do whatever I want.

I can stand him on his head.


I can stack him in a pyramid.


I can even make him portray astrological signs, e.g.: Gemini.



BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!

[arwalden]

40. OMG... You've Found My "Laugh Uncontrollably" Button

and you continue to press it without mercy.

-- Allen

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

44. What can I say? I just like playing with your duck.

And you're not the first guy I've said that to.

[arwalden]

46. Well... the "U" and the "I" Keys Are Side-by-Side

Are you sure that's not a typo?

-- Allen

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

50. Oops, my bad

I guess you are the first guy I've said that to.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

60. Sir, do you believe this woman is hitched to The Magistrate?

[Susang]

67. What I want to know...

Is why I've met The Magistrate several times, yet have never once met her?

And while we're at it, has anyone ever noticed if they ever post at the same time? }(

[arwalden]

79. Did You Ever See "Sybil" Or "The Three Faces Of Eve"

-- Allen

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

94. Indeed, Sir; Of Course, Mr. Arwalden; You Betcha, Baby

And just remember...

Everybody plays nice, and nobody's duck gets hurt.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

88. I was there, you just couldn't see me

Yep, I'm the Invisible Woman.


Truth is, he "gathers" better than I do. I become very withdrawn and then he worries for me; I'd rather he focus on the rest of you, whose company he enjoys immensely.

Maybe after a couple thousand more posts I will become comfortable enough to attend. :hi:

[arwalden]

78. Just Don't Be Throwing Anyone Any Surprise Parties

... and yes... I could believe that.

-- Allen

[Terran]

38. Allen, is that you in your avatar?

n/t (just kiddin')

Very handsome, if so...and very 'professional' looking, somehow.

I hope my avatar isn't too obscure. I would hate to be Ignored by a fellow creature.

Dirk

[arwalden]

41. Thanks For Reminding Me, Dirk: Anyone Who Puts THEIR PHOTO As An Avatar

gets put on ignore. LOL.

Who would do such a thing? If that's not a cry-for-help, then I don't know what is.

-- Allen

[DS1]

43. LOL! Your threads are the greatest, and I support queer ducks!

[arwalden]

45. "Yes Men".... Go Directly To Ignore... Do Not Collect $200

LOL!

-- Allen

[Finbar]

53. There's an "ignore list" ?

Why don't you people tell me these things?

[DS1]

56. Yes Sir!

*snap* *pop* /salute

[ronnykmarshall]

52. How about people that post self-beef cake pictures?

[arwalden]

58. Well It *IS* Beefcake... And Since I'm Not A Vegetarian...

I like it. Very much.

-- Allen

[Beetwasher]

55. STALKER!! WHY ARE YOU STALKING ME!!!

:evilgrin:

[arwalden]

57. ALERT, ALERT!!!

"... because a cease-and-desist order is not a judgment of fact. BWAAA HA HA Bwaaaaaaa hah hahahahahaha. Quack Quack. Quackbusters are Quack."


You crack me up, old friend!

-- Allen

[SiouxJ]

59. Anyone who references Young Frankenstein too often

or for that matter, Moulin Rouge, I have on ignore.

(Too bad you can't see this since you have us Veggies on ignore)

[ronnykmarshall]

61. How about references from any John Water's films?

[SiouxJ]

62. Yeah! Those too!!

now that I think of it ;-)

[ronnykmarshall]

63. That's a LIE Ina Nelson!

[arwalden]

69. Lovely

[ronnykmarshall]

74. and I bet you cleaned just for us!

Well I did tidy up!

[arwalden]

86. I'm Not Mad At You.... I'm Mad At The Dirt!

This ain't my first time at the rodeo!

-- Allen

[arwalden]

71. I Only Tell The Twuth. I Only Tell The Twuth. I Only Tell The Twuth!!

She is MINE!
Kiss. Grand. Diamonds. Best Friend.

-- Allen

[SiouxJ]

75. Love is a many splendid thing; Love lift us up where we belong;

All you need is love. ..


(oops, guess I have to put myself on ignore :-) )

[SOteric]

64. *LOL* I wonder what this place looks like

if there are only 10 regular posters one reads.

[arwalden]

70. (Crickets Chirping)

[Skittles]

68. LOL

:thumbsup:

[Duncan Grant]

72. Yeah, and for those tombstoned posters...

they go on my retroactive ignore list cause you can never be too careful about these things!
:evilgrin:

[arwalden]

76. ROFLMAO! -- HEY! You've Been Peeking... Ya Big Copycat!

Peeping toms? ... Ignored!
Copycats? ... Ignored!

Hi, Stud! :hi:

-- Allen

[Duncan Grant]

84. ;-)

:hi: :* ;)

(all posts using just emoticons...ignored!) :pals:

edit: plural problem(s) ;)

[HEyHEY]

73. Wow - the post nazi

;-)

Hope that didn't land me on ignore

[arwalden]

77. Non Historical References To Nazis? ... IGNORED!

Non Historical Comparisons To Hitler? --- Also IGNORED!

:hi:

-- Allen

Soup-Nazi jokes get a pass. 'Rush = Nazi' and 'Bush = Hitler' references also get a pass (and are actively encouraged).

edit: spelling emphasis

[HEyHEY]

82. It was a historical reference to Seinfeld

Please no...have some mercy! ;-)

[stanwyck]

81. I must be on double/triple secret probation

ignore. I lost count of how many violations I have. However, as Glenn Close said: "I will not be ignored!"
So much for your rabbit.

[HEyHEY]

83. "Whatever that is"

[arwalden]

85. Yes... There Is A Repeat-Offenders Three-Strikes Clause

but nobody has EVER had to use it.... UNTIL NOW!

Quick! Someone go dust off the books and look it up for me and see what it says.

-- Allen

[stanwyck]

92. Consider yourself

my very first IGNORE designee! Congratulations!

[Angelus]

89. Huked en fonix wrkd fer mi!

w00t!

I despise killing animals! Go vegan! Soy all the way! w00t!

:evilgrin:

[name not needed]

90. w00t

:)

[SmileyBoy]

93. You meat-eating Queer Duck lover!!!

:D:D:D