I Swear My Home Is Being Attacked By Psychotic Birds

[THUNDER HANDS]

I found bird poop on the sliding screen door in my backyard. I have no idea how bird poop could get on a totally vertical surface, but this bird managed to do it.

Not only did it poop on the door - catching a large clump in the screen - but it also splattered against the glass door behind the screen door.

Now, the laws of physics escape me in this instance. Unless the bird was hovering next to the door, backed its way up against the screen and did it's business, I don't see how this could have happened.

The other day I also noticed bird poop on my side view mirror. Not on top of it, but on the actual mirror part. That was the only area hit.

How on earth do birds DO THIS?!?!?!?!?!

[Pale Blue Dot]

1. If they're pigeons, they're probably looking for me.

You can send them my way. We have an affinity... :-)

[mopaul]

2. woodpeckers attack me contsantly

and i dream of crows flying away with my penis.

i am in sympatico with you rat.

some birds crap in flight, which would explain excrement on a vertical surface. i've tried it myself.

[THUNDER HANDS]

4. what do they do

Fly low like a WW2 bomber and pull up at the last minute before the door and unload their cargo?

[MallRat]

7. Ummm... mopaul?

I've filed your post under "Too Much Information."

:-)

-MR

[Rick Myers]

3. In our 'hood...

There building a new school, so they tore down about 2 acres of wooded land and Nature's Gone Wild! Groundhogs in the backyard, thousands of new birds nesting and pooping everywhere, crows the size of cats!!!

I blame George Bush! :evilgrin:

[Retired AF Dem]

5. I have a problem with a psychotic cardinal

Does not like my van. The moment I come home from work in the morning he attacks it and craps all over it. If I put it in the garage he starts to attack the garage. Keeping with my Handel I wouldn't mine shooting it, but my wife always stops me.

[MallRat]

6. Forward momentum continues after the drop.

Think of it like a bombardier would.

If a plane is flying north when it drops a bomb (we're talking a dumb WWII-era bomb here), the bomb continues to travel north during the free fall.

So, if the bird is in flight towards your screen door and lets one go, the right combination of flight speed and height could cause his... errr.. PAYLOAD to hit a vertical surface.

/sciencegeekmode

-MR