1000th Post. Ha! Bush Rules! God laughs at you communists!

[troublemaker]

Having made it through 1000 posts I can now drop the charade.

All of your thought-crime has been recorded and forwarded to the ministry. Have fun on the ash-heap of history, losers. While I'm eating Bald Eagle steaks stuffed with cigars you lames will be polishing my boots. They'll be easy to reach because they will be on your neck.

Bushes recent unpopularity has been an intricate stratagem to get you traitors on the record. (It's a little trick we learned from your buddy Chairman Mao.)

Bush is actually at 83%! And by the way, Howard Dean got 72% of the vote in Iowa, you chumps. What's that? You say that wasn't how the results came in? Get real, who do you think controls the phone lines in this country? The league of women fucking voters? No, me and my fat white male friends, that's who. Have fun with Senator Excitement!

Sincerely,
that Freeper spy you guys are all so paranoid about

[genius]

1. This is a joke, right?

[Skittles]

3. 83%

joke or delusional

[JanMichael]

4. Of course it is. There's no way Dean got 72% in Iowa.

:-)

[qwertyMike]

26. This is the TRUTH

We know where you live.
Pack for a long trip.

[NMDemDist2]

2. ROFL

ahhhh my "thought crimes" have been recorded

good thing too, we may need em someday

:hi: congrats on 1000 posts... are you gonna make it to 1050?

[Renew Deal]

54. 1050

That's what I was thinking. This is pretty funny though.

[Ripley]

5. Are you on drugs?

What kind? And tell me, exactly how did you get us traitors on the record? How can you possibly know who we are behind our might-be-real-but-probably-not screen names?

I suppose I missed something and someone called you a freeper. Well, it happens to the best of DUers sometimes. But if your're going for the comedy routine, stick to your day job.

[ibegurpard]

6. If you're serious

then you've wounded us all DEEPLY to the CORE! We feel so BETRAYED!
ROFLMAO!

[havocmom]

7. always thought the screen name was about right

and, what communists you talkin to?

edited to add: bush* 83% is the actual disapproval number. You don't think people are all honest with pollseters, do you? ;-)

[Cleita]

8. Your mother must be so proud of you.

Enjoy your life under the new fascists on the block. :hi:

[Duncan Grant]

9. Who's paranoid? And who gives a shit?

I guess you missed the "release your inner drama queen thread" yesterday. Pity.

[Blue_State_Elitist]

10. hmmmm

Even if this is a joke, he should be tombstoned. Not funny.

[salin]

11. a poorly done mocking thread

woohoo... how interesting.

[iconoclastic cat]

12. Mr. Burns: "Ha! The man you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy at all!"

"And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco!"

[rumguy]

13. we got ourselves a dennis fuckin' miller here

[Ripley]

19. Hee hee, HO HO, HA HA Woooooooooo!!!!!!

That was funny! :D

[Name removed]

14. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[CatWoman]

24. Thank you, Martin

I was just about to point that out.

Only Bushbots can try to spin something so completely idiotic and inane as an "accomplishment".

[troublemaker]

15. What a serious bunch!

If the phrase "Bald Eagle steaks stuffed with cigars" doesn't suggest a parody of freeperdom I don't know what would.

[Liberal Veteran]

17. Perhaps you should have posted this in the lounge?

Where it belongs?

[bicentennial_baby]

21. True dat

I got it right about there.

[rumguy]

23. what is a bald eagle steak?

[Gold Metal Flake]

56. I think breast filet.

Browned in butter and lemon juice with garlic.

[rumguy]

57. sounds tasty

[troublemaker]

58. Don't forget the farva beans

[Pepperbelly]

35. I snapped to it a little farther down ...

when you asserted that you and your "Fat white male friends" controlled the phone lines or something.

A little Kaufmanesque, isn't it? Andy, that is.

:smoke:

[troublemaker]

48. I never really "got" Andy Kauffman until Man on the Moon

Because in the movie we got to see the bits from *his* perspective. (Having fun at the audience's expense isn't as funny if you're in the audience)

[iconoclastic cat]

63. It's like going to see Mission of Burma.

Their whole point was that they knew that they sucked in their live shows.
Or the early Replacements, in which they rarely got through their third song.

[Pattib]

16. I think most here realize there are trolls on the board.

You hide behind your middle of the road posts. It's obvious. Hope ya had fun though.

[troublemaker]

66. C'mon... Middle of the road?

I'm a moderate, but a moderate extremist. Nobody on DU outflanks me as a Civil Libertarian and I've spent many hours defending those who compare Bush to Hitler. I detest most conspiracy thinking, though, and that often puts me far to one side. I WISH these conspiracies were real! I just don't have that level of faith in human competence.

Anyway, middle of the road or not, I'm quite fond of this piece (below) so I might as well stick it into this weirdly "popular" thread and people can judge for themselves:

________________________________________________

As Chris Rock would say, "I'm not saying it's right to be joyful Reagan has passed on... but I understand."

The most profound emotional reaction I've ever had about people on TV was a few hours after George Wallace was shot in 1972. It occurred near where I lived so the news was full blast all day and I felt some positive anticipation of his death from his wounds... I wasn't buoyant but I must confess a grim sense of satisfaction.

That evening his traumatized wife came on TV and seeing her simple human pain I was filled with shame for my callous un-Christian thoughts. (The fact that he was paralyzed rather than simply vanishing into the afterlife probably had something to do with it--our cultural comfort with low-consequences 'bang bang, you're dead' gun-play as entertainment should shame us all.)

When Reagan was shot it was nine years later. I was working behind a cash register when I heard the news. A customer ran up to the counter all a flutter saying, "Reagan has been shot." I responded, "Good. I hope he dies." Many customers in line were horrified, of course.

I have never regretted my thoughts or words that day for one second. Sure, Reagan was human. Yes, he was probably a decent man in some ways. But people who have grown up during or post Reagan cannot really grasp the enormity of what happened to America in the 1979-1981 period. It was like 9/11 but with no 9/11 event to even pretend to justify it. We had never before had a President who was so comfortable with the language, trappings and national philosophy of fascism.

To those born after 1970 their personal American history is a story of progress, from Reagan to GHW Bush to Clinton. The walking talking setback that is Bush II is a disappointing regression. To those of us a little older American history pre-Reagan was an arrow of human improvement... an almost unbroken line of progress that defied every McCarthy and Nixon and George Wallace who arose in opposition. And the rise of Ronald Reagan changed all of that.

Reagan's policies really weren't so bad. Hampered by a Democratic congress that would seem almost communist compared to our current Democrats, Reagan's *actual* policies were often to the left of Clinton. The problem was his dreams. His famous optimism was really just a fixed hope that someday western civilization would be defeated by comic books.

And worst of all, Reagan was all about that thing every educated American had feared most since about 1954; television.

During the 1970s America entered the decline phase that all hyper-powers eventually face. There's no shame in it. America was a great but struggling nation in 1979. By 1981 America was a pathetic formerly great country living on credit and high on nostalgia, lies and a desire to kill as an expression of our ongoing superiority. Only our relative position in the world has obscured our rapid decline as a great nation since 1980. (We are falling from an incredible height and as long as we can get others to fall even faster it looks like we're moving up.) Our decline wasn't a result of Reagan's policies. Perhaps it was inevitable. But by opting for Reagan in 1980 America chose a drugged delusion over a painful reality and you can't really turn back from that sort of thing once begun.

George Wallace was just a bad guy. Reagan was a national disease. GWBush is the metastasis of that initial infection. (In absolute terms Bush is worse than Reagan was but in absolute terms Scary Movie 2 probably took in more dollars than Gone With the Wind.)

Yes, a lot of callous things were said yesterday, but for people who had strong political ideas about America before 1980, our world was upended by that man. Our every existing conception of what America was capable of was thrown in the toilet. So there are reasons for some of the bad blood. I take no glee in the thing, but I will not feign sadness.

[mopaul]

18. trembling here............

[Just Me]

20. Good grief! Is it a full moon or something? Weirdness runamuck. n/t

[KoKo]

60. It's extreme stress. We've all got it...or those of us who've lasted. n't

[biftonnorton]

22. Apparently You Didn't Get The Memo

Or you ignored it. Remember? We're all freeper spies here and this is just a virtual training ground for us to help us learn forum infiltration. None of the posts here are by real democrats. Outing yourself as an agent is gonna look pretty amateurish... This is going in your personnel file, buddy. On your permanent record.

[iconoclastic cat]

25. Maybe this was more of a Lounge post,

but I still thought it was funny. But then again, I have been told by Mrs. IC that my sense of humor indicates some sort of undiagnosed brain trauma.

[troublemaker]

30. The problem is that it makes no sense as a lounge post

because the intense freep paranoia is mostly in GD

[iconoclastic cat]

32. Ah, you are wise as well as crafty...

Soon, we will be twisting in a pit of cheddar.

[Nevernose]

27. Damn The thought police are on to us!

Quick, everybody! Burn your copies of the Communist Manifesto -- you know, the ones printed on 100% recycled hemp paper? The ones we were going to pass out to elementary school children as soon as we were done indoctrinating them into the homosexual conspiracy?

(I store mine between "The Handbook of Godless Secular Humanism" and "Hilary Clinton: Friend of Satan and Loving It!"

[ThomWV]

28. Be Careful, I'm Hot On Your Tail

Like a hound from hell I'm coming right up behind you with my wildly idealistic hallucinations of how society might operate for the good of as many as possible. By Wednesday the 1,000 marker will be mine as well.

[troublemaker]

29. Alright! I'm very sorry

Geez... go back to the "Reagan is still dead" threads.

If you can't poke fun at Freep paranoia then it's a sad day all.

[Ripley]

31. I think the problem is....YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.

Sorry, some got it, some don't.

[iconoclastic cat]

34. This was an Andy Kaufman type of joke.

Malicious frivolity? Frivolous malice?

[Ripley]

36. I never liked Andy Kaufman...

What the hell was that weird wrestling bit about? :shrug:

[iconoclastic cat]

39. Exactly.

It was meant for you to have that exact reaction. And enjoy it.

[Nevernose]

38. "Bald eagle steaks stuffed w/ cigars"

...was fucking hilarious.

[Ripley]

40. You think?

Maybe the bald eagle part, but cigars? Do liberals not smoke cigars? I would have thought "stuffed w/baby Harp seal meat" would have been more freeperish.

[troublemaker]

46. Cigars are a big Rush Limbaugh passion

[troublemaker]

42. I've never known if the paranoia here was real

or an intricate running gag. Now I know.

People, if there are Freeper moles on these boards, who cares? Are they going to change your mind?

How many of us have taken the trouble to infiltrate Free Republic? I'm guessing none, because it would ba an immense waste of energy for no purpose. Jesus himself couldn't get those people to vote for Kerry.

And not disruptor at DU is going to get me or you or you to vote for Bush.

One "I'm glad Reagan is dead" thread probably does more harm than 100 freep disruptions, but so what? These boards aren't really geared toward swing voters.

[salin]

37. appreciate the attempt

but didn't find it terribly effective. good parody is particularly hard to pull off. a nod, however, at the valient attempt.

[iconoclastic cat]

41. Parody--truly effective parody--does take time to polish.

Many drafts, and much analysis.

[Duncan Grant]

43. Would've been a big hit in the lounge.

Too bad it was wasted here. :shrug:

[Renew Deal]

59. I say good job,

This is a great post and it's damn funny

[troublemaker]

33. well if you don't like this one

then read this one. It's from the heart:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x1732683

[salin]

45. Now that... is a strong piece of work

I blasted your parody above... but will state it is also hard to turn an effective phrase that captures the essense of a problem that noone else can put their finger upon. Sorry that I missed this one first time around.

Particularly jarringly accurate examples (jarring for the straight out truthful implication)

"...The problem was his dreams. His famous optimism was really just a fixed hope that someday western civilization would be defeated by comic books.

And worst of all, Reagan was all about that thing every educated American had feared most since about 1954; television.

Well done.

[iconoclastic cat]

47. Try a parody of "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God."

That one just begs for it. Jonathan Edwards was such a freak, but don't you think that his work sounds a bit like some of stuff going around today?

[Union Thug]

44. Yawn..

Oooh awwww... oooh aaaawwww....

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm really impressed. Really, I am. Yep.

I'm happy to share my thought crimes with everyone. Just ask sometime.

<insert dramatic 50's sci fi score to puncuate the moment>

[louis c]

49. For The Record

I'm SOOOOOO scared . Having been a political activist in the 60's and 70's, to think some slime ball, asshole like you can scare me, here's my info
Louis Ciarlone
President/Business Manager
I.B.E.W Local 123

P.S. You and that idiot President in the White House can go Fuck yourselves!

[iconoclastic cat]

50. Dude, read some of his other posts. This was satire.

Your passion is commendable, though.

[louis c]

64. Sorry

I guess my hatred and arrogance are showing. However, there is no more important cause in the last quarter century than to remove from the pinnacle of power those individuals who are hell bent on destroying us. Sometimes I get carried away. After all, I'm no kid, so there aren't that many more chances for me to change the direction of the country I love so dearly.

[Ripley]

51. LOL! Funny Louie!

Welcome to DU! :toast:

We can always use more tough Union guys around here!!!

[Duncan Grant]

52. Welcome to DU, louis c !

:yourock: :thumbsup:

[Renew Deal]

55. Ummm, It's a joke.

Byt thanks for the info. ;)

[troublemaker]

61. Hi Louis C. No harm intended!

These days parody is overtaken by reality on a minute by minute basis

[JanMichael]

62. He's just yankin' chains mate!

PS: It's good to finally get some more Union folks on board here. I'm not one personally, due to my profession, however this county desperately needs to get MANY MORE people organized!

[kaitykaity]

53. Good moniker there.

[DieboldMustDie]

65. Diebold robbed Dean in Iowa!

They developed very sophisticated androids that attended the caucuses and swung the vote to Kerry. :evilgrin:

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

67. Your post made me laugh.

So did the rest of the thread.

When you're done here, I got a hornets' nest in the back yard you might wanna take a stick to.

Good job! :D

[Old and In the Way]

68. Hey, you win some and you lose some.

Fact is, you got 61 posts (so far), so you obviously got our attention.