Should I be upset?

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

As some of you may know, our house is on the market. My husband will be starting his new job in Dallas on August 16th, while I remain in Pittsburgh to finish law school. It would be WONDERFUL if we could sell the house before he leaves, or at least before school starts, so I won't have to deal with packing everything and moving by myself while trying to attend classes and working.

We are asking $229,000 for our 3-bedroom house. Our absolute bottom offer that we can accept (according to my husband) is $215,000; with the realtor's commission and other costs, we'll only break even at that price.

We had a contingency offer of $205,000 from a young couple who live in a condo in a wildly popular Pittsburgh neighborhood who could likely sell their condo in a very short time. We counteroffered $218,000. While it would severely stretch their budget, they came up to $212,000. My husband stubbornly refused this offer, stating that as a matter of principle he would go no lower than $215,000. Now they are no longer interested.

The house has been on the market since February 19th, and this is the closest we've been to making a deal. Most people who've seen the house loved it, but many of them didn't like the fact that we don't have a formal dining room, and some of them don't want the third bedroom. WE WERE SO CLOSE, and I feel that my husband's stubbornness lost us a chance to sell our house and be out by the time school starts for me, just over a lousy $3,000. This couple obviously loved the house, and it was perfect for them because family is nearby. Now we're back to square one waiting for someone like them to come along, but who is willing to give us at least $215,000.

Would you be upset if you were me? My husband will be off to Dallas in a little over two months; he won't have to deal with constantly cleaning the house for showing, much less packing everything up if the darned thing ever does sell. I'll be trying to finish law school while doing all of that on my own. POOR LITTLE ME! I need objective opinions, please! (But I'll take sympathy if I can get it!)

[Rabrrrrrr]

1. Wow

I think a time comes when you have to ask yourself (or in this case, your husband, perhaps, needs to ask himself) is the loss of $3K worth keeping the damn thing on the market for another 6 months tying up your money and being frustrating? That $212K could have been earning you interest money. :-)

Not to say that what I am saying is correct, just that's how I would look at it.

But much of this depends on the housing market, as well. If I was thinking it might be another 4, 5, or 6 months before it sold, I'd likely be happy to get rid of the damned thing and be done with it, even if I had to go down another $2 or 3 grand. Figure a house costs about a grand a month to keep operating anyway, for utilities, mortgage payment, taxes, etc. So whether you take $3K less now, or get the price you want but 3 months later (at a cost of $3K for running the house those 6 months), you're at the same spot, except you've missed three months of earning interest, you've been able to avoid three months more worth of interest on the mortgage, and less aggregavation.

But I have to say, that couple gave you what I would consider an almost insulting bid. That's more than a 10% discount from your ask price.

So, I don't know. Much of depends on the housing market, and how realistic your asking price is.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

2. Thanks for your opinion

The problem is that we did pay too much for this house. It was brand new construction when we bought it, and our realtor at the time stupidly advised us that you can't negotiate prices on new construction, and we naively believed her, so we paid the full price of $199,900. Now we're seemingly stuck. I could just SCREAM!!

[Lucky Luciano]

6. Ahhh

You overpaid...therefore your husband is indeed being greedy by letting one mistake lead to another. My advice in the future is that all things are negotiable all the time. What you want to pay is up to you, but evidently the realtor that sold you the house knew you wanted it badly enough to take his offer. There is no shame in passing on something you think is overpriced even if you like it! So, next time I advise a strong poker face (I sincerely believe there is a lot one can learn by studying and playing poker - primarily discipline and how to read your opponents during negotiations). Show no emotion and control the situation. Put your foot down when you have to and be cordial and diplomatic, but not nice....and sometimes you just need to be a prick.

[Nite Owl]

3. Have you tried For Sale By Owner?

It's popular in some areas and you don't have that realtor commission to pay. You might be able to lower the price that way. Rates are likely on the way up and anyone buying a house will be doing it soon to get the lower rate so don't give up hope.

[JVS]

4. Chalk it up to experience

Being upset isn't going to help accomplish anything, but remember this for next time when you are in a similar situation. Breaking even would be nice, but small losses on a house is still a better deal than renting. I'd suggest telling your husband that you think that the $215K hardline is a bit much (if you think that it is a bit much) You did, after all, get some use out of the house.

I'd be more concerned about making sure that you have a place to live if you were to sell the house in the next 2 months.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

8. I did tell him

And he's angrily sitting in the basement, far away from me.

He did mention "firing" our realtor (who is also a personal friend) and just trying to sell the house ourselves. But I'm the one who'll have to make arrangements to do all the showings, etc. I work, too. I guess right now I'm most resentful of his apparent unwillingness to make sacrifices. I can just envision selling the house in oh, say, October, and I'll have to scramble to find an apartment, pack up all of our belongings (and we have a LOT of stuff) and put them in storage, then move, all while going to law school and working. Meanwhile, he'll be in Dallas staying with a friend or in a studio apartment, blissfully only concentrating on his new job.

At this point I think he should find us a house in Dallas and be the one responsible for moving most of our stuff there, but I'm sure he'll squawk about that. His new department will likely pay for the move; why not do it in August when we're both available rather than making me do everything over the next year? I'm more than willing to go to Dallas this summer and house hunt, and I'm prepared to drive there with him, move him in and then fly back to Pittsburgh.

[JVS]

11. After reading reply #2 I have thought a little more about this situation

If you guys paid too much for the house then you should not expect the next buyer to pay too much as well so that you break even. You might just have to bite the bullet and lose a little money. You should try like hell to sell the place by August because you have important stuff to do (BTW are you at Pitt or Duquesne law school?) Isn't the point of having a realtor to help sell it quickly? You definitely don't need to be interrupted in October (or god forbid December) with selling the house. I sympathize with you. Hopefully you'll get another offer soon and you'll be able to jump at it.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

12. I'm at Pitt Law

The only reason we're in this house to begin with is because my husband wanted a NEW house. We made one house-hunting trip in April 2000 and couldn't find anything, so we decided to get an apartment. Then he decided that he really wanted a house so as not to waste money on rent. Unfortunately we needed to be out of our Wichita home by July 1st and he also needed to start his new job in Pittsburgh on that date, so we had to scramble to find something. Because he had a musical program scheduled in Phoenix (he's Pakistani and sings traditional Pakistani songs), he couldn't go on Memorial Day weekend, the only time we had available to search, so I had to come back to Pittsburgh alone to find a house. I found a 40+-year-old house that would have been perfect, but he was dead set on having new construction instead, so we bought this one without his having seen it. He was upset to walk in and see that the living room was so "small" and that there was no formal dining room, although I TOLD him that repeatedly.

I hate for this to sound like a harangue against my husband, because he is a great guy, but I would be lying if I didn't say I'm very upset with him right now. He's angry with me because "I'm not the one making the money; when I start making money I'll see how things are." I guess I have no right to be upset because he refuses to lose money on the house.

[wtmusic]

5. Take all factors into account

Obviously as your time runs out you're going to have to be more flexible on the price.

"Principle" is not very helpful for selling a house. You really have to throw out the idea of what you think you "should" get. It doesn't matter at all.

If you want, you could go back to them with a deal to sell for $212K on an "as is" basis, or tell them you'll sell for $215K with a $3,000 termite job thrown in. You get the picture--the point is to salve your husband's ego but make the deal happen.

I can be a stubborn bastard too, and it almost cost me a sale. At the last moment the agent threw in an extra $4K from her commission. She still made a lot of money.

A lot of little tricks to making it work. Good luck!!

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

9. He mentioned wanting our realtor to decrease her commission

But because she's a friend, he hesitated to bring it up with her, hoping she would do it on her own. ARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

[wtmusic]

10. Well, don't rule out contacting the buyers again with a counter

It's always stressful. You may just have to accept that your husband's stubbornness is going to cost you some dough.

Again, good luck, and hang tough!! :-)

[Eye and Monkey]

7. Try to not be upset - focus on the next offer.

Recognize that maybe y'all missed out, but move past it. Next time, if you think the offer is good enough, "negotiate" more strenuously for accepting it.

Yes, there are inconvenient consequences for not accepting the 212k offer. Perhaps your husband is willing to do something to let you know how much he appreciates your extra effort. Perhaps you could extend an invitation for him to show his appreciation for the extra effort you'll be putting into the details.