Newly published schedule of events for GOP NYC this summer

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

New York 2004


6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry
Falwell


6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance


6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd
amendment)


6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing


6:46 PM Seminar #1: "Getting your kid a military
deferment"


7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong


7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries


7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for
dinner.


8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next


8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh


8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After
Your Children"


8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights
(MEN only)


8:50 PM Seminar #2 Corporations: The government of
the future


9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"


9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong


9:10 PM EPA Address #2: "Trees: The real cause of
forest fires"


9:30 PM Break for secret meetings


10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas


10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: Doublespeak made easy


10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and
talk macho


10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark
deer-in-headlights stare


10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory
Kevlar chastity
belt


10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black
Republicans


10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong


10:50 PM Seminar #3: "Education: A drain on our
nation's economy"


11:10 PM Hilary Clinton piñata


11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft:
"Evolutionists -- The
Dangerous new cult"


11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again.


11:35 PM Blame Clinton


11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies


11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself


12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme
Planetary Overlord

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

1. kick?

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

2. No one thought this was funny?

well call me eddY.

[bif]

5. It's not that it isn't funny

But it's been posted about a million times. And I've gotten it from at least 20 people over the last 6 months.But okay, I'll call you eddY if you want!

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

7. Oh. first I have seen it... I guess I am behind on this one

Wow, I feel so.... out of the loop.

[buddhamama]

3. rofl !!

10:45- what a hoot

:thumbsup:

[commander bunnypants]

4. hey I just read it

Presidential beer bongs and a hillary pinata.

Dont forget the course on better living through environmental chemicals and the sun who needs it

DDQM

[sasquatch]

6. What no snakehandling?!?!?

Can't have a Good Ol'boy Party without the burlap sack full of rattlesnakes.:silly:

[jmowreader]

8. I don't believe it for a second

Not enough beer bongs, no class on scoring Oxys, nothing on tax cuts. And it takes almost six hours to blame Clinton for anything?

Go back, rewrite this to suit reality and come back quick with it.