So, I appear to have acquired another kid.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

We're lying there in bed on Friday morning, around 1 am, and suddenly the wife makes a mad-dash to the toilet. I'm like 'what's all this commotion, woman', and she's like 'my water broke!', 'what water?, is that like some zen thing?', 'you know, like when you're about to give birth'
'what, are you pregnant or something?'
'not for very much longer!' nice of her to give me advanced warning, I thought.
So, we drive off to Foothills Hospital, and suddenly, they're pulling this wailing pink thing out of my wife's stomach, and I'm like 'dude....not the brown acid again', but apparently, it's a bona-fide kid named Tara Grace Halliday Clark, she was ten pounds, which was weird, 'cos I thought we used dollars in this country, but there you go. She doesn't do much but sleep and sleep some more, but it is weirdly compelling, I'll give her that.

Apparently Tara shares the same birthday as Gene Wilder and Jacques Cousteau, Nelson Mandela, Jackie Stewart (the race driver) plus Joe Montana. So there you go. I've acquired another kid to go with the blonde one who seems to think my pad is her house, or something.

[Fenris]

1. Holy shite, ya potent c**t! Congrats!

Miss seeing you around here!

:toast:

Congrats, friend.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

Thanks. I'm not sure if I mentioned my wife was pregnant, but apparently

she was. There you go. I'll be back at some point in the near future.

[Fenris]

7. Yeah, you never mentioned it.

You only mentioned your first child once. :D

[Screaming Lord Byron]

9. I'm a man of mystery. One day I may mention my factory in Argentina.

I'm notoriously awful at divulging important details.

[Fenris]

10. Yes, and I may mention my granchildren.

:D

[Screaming Lord Byron]

12. How are little Alonzo and Arturo? It's been so long.

[Fenris]

13. Cheerful as ever. Oh, but Alonzo's gone off to college.

Arturo is a bum.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

16. I knew he was in trouble as soon as he was elected President of Slovakia.

Another central-european nation ruined by drunken grandchildren. Will it ever end?

[Fenris]

20. His son, Valclav, seems to think so.

Though I wouldn't take his word on it. He treats his children horribly!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

22. Must be difficult to keep track, what with you being a 6,000 year old

immortal semi-deity. How do you do it?

[Fenris]

29. A mix of speed and a PalmPilot.

It reminds which child/grandchild/greatgranchild/etc. I'm speaking to.

[wtmusic]

2. Congrats!!!

It's the best. Glad everything's working out OK...

:thumbsup:

[SarahB]

3. Hey Congratulations!!!!

:bounce: What a big girl there! Be extra nice to the wife.

:toast: :toast: :toast:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

6. Shall do. Thanks.

[Rick Myers]

4. That's very cool!!!

Congratulations!!!

:toast:

on edit: May I be the first to welcome Tara Grace to DU!!!!!!!!!!!!

:smoke::toast::smoke:

[Name removed]

5. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Fenris]

14. I wonder what this poster could have possibly said?

Sort of a rude place to insult someone.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

18. Nah, it's Rick. He duped himself.

Bloody moderators, letting power go to their heads, eh? :evilgrin:

[Fenris]

21. Damn! I wanted a troll!

*note: don't do a GIS for "troll doll". :scared:

[Mikimouse]

8. What a lovely name, too!

Congratulations, ScreamingLordByron, every man should have at least one daughter (gives us humanity). Cheers!:toast: Of course, please also convey my best wishes to Mrs. ScreamingLB.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

11. Thanks. I now have two daughters, Tara and Marianne.

[Mikimouse]

19. I assume then that you, like all fathers of daughters...

are able assume the 'wound around my daughters' little fingers' position at will, without unnecessary prompting? I mastered that artform right after my second daughter was born in '87.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

24. No doubt.

[flamingyouth]

15. Congrats!

I'm glad for you and your family! :party:

[ewagner]

17. Congrats!!!

Enjoy every moment!

:toast: :toast: :toast:

[iconoclastic cat]

23. Good job, ya old tomcat!

Tell the missus that thar's some good work!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

26. Shall do. Thanks.

[supernova]

25. Congratulations!

This is wonderfula news.

Ouch! What a big baby! Glad every one is doing OK. :toast:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

27. All well. As long as we can get the bloody kid to feed, eh?

[SarahB]

37. If she's breastfeeding...ask me anything.

If I can't answer it, I could probably show you where to go to look. I used to work in a non-clinical setting with post-partum moms and was an inch from becoming a Le Leche League leader, but some other life stuff happened and I changed my mind (plus, I'm a bit more mellow in my attitudes than most of them).
I'm also in nursing school and hope to further specialize in this when I finish. Anyway, a good layperson's knowledge anyway.
I hope things work out. My biggest baby was 9lbs 11oz and thankfully a great eater, so we were able to get decent sleep from the get go.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

54. Thanks, I'll keep that in mind should the need arise

Which it probably will.

[jpgray]

28. Hmm. So will she become a mad genius chocolate-maker?

I already explained the PR disasters of having fat German boy viscera in your chocolate mixer to JVS, but the warning isn't any worse for being given twice.

(Congratulations! :hi:)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

30. Thank you, I'll bear that in mind should the situation arise.

Mari's ambition in life is to become an ice cream cone girl, so she will be working in a related industry.

[tigereye]

31. Oh Byron I wondered if you had had the new one yet!

Congratulations to you and your wife. 10 pounds! Gadzooks. Mine was 8.10 and we thought that was big! That is sooo cool.

Have fun! :toast:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

53. Thanks very much. Luckily the kid was a Caesarian.

[Donkeyboy75]

75. Watch out for those religious ones.

Mine is a Caligulan, so she's pretty weird, and throws some pretty risque parties for a two year old.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

78. She'll be ok. It's her big sister Brutus I'll have to watch.

[Donkeyboy75]

81. And here I thought that name was reserved for males.

But what do I know? My name is Shannon. :shrug:

[Pithlet]

32. Congratulations!

That's a big baby. That sleeping thing she's doing will soon be a thing of the past, you know ;) They fool you at the hospital, and you think "This is going to be easy!" Then, you get home...

I'm so happy for you :bounce:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

33. Congrats to all of you!

:party::beer::party:

[rucky]

34. Mazel Tov! n/t

[bubblesby2002]

35. That was sudden

Congratulations you horny Scot - transplanted Canadian.:-)

[LibertyorDeath]

36. Hey Congrats !!

Enjoy them while you can, apparently they flee the scene after their done growing.

Cheers to You and your Family. :toast:

[Bunny]

38. Congratulations, SLB!

:toast:

[GOPisEvil]

39. Another kid?

I didn't know you had A kid...well, congratulations to you all! :toast:

[matcom]

40. can you return it? did you keep the recipt?

:toast: pal

[Screaming Lord Byron]

56. I don't know. It may be shopworn by this point.

OK, that's it, I'm going to hell, now.

[UrbScotty]

41. Congrats! Now why didn't you name her Wesley Clark?

Inquiring minds...

[Screaming Lord Byron]

57. You know, I tried a few great political names, but the wife wouldn't go

for them. Helen Clark is the Labour PM of New Zealand, so I could've gone there, I guess.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

42. Congrats!!

I love that story. "What water? is that like some zen thing?" Classic!! Your wife probably thinks you're insane. Congrats on the baby girl. Enjoy every second. Babies are precious.
Duckie

[BigMcLargehuge]

43. Huzzah Screaming Lord Byron!

A blessing on your house sir! Congratulations around!

[Magrittes Pipe]

44. Your sperms are strong and virile!

Huzzah for your sperms! :toast:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

62. How unlike the rest of me, eh?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

63. Uh...wrong place to post. Soz.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

45. In Portuguese, Tara means "kinky sexual desire".

Thought you'd like to know. Congratulations!

Pics?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

58. Cool. I may not break that one to my wife, yet.

[Bat Boy]

46. Huge congrats to ya!

Unless she disappears after you get a good night's sleep.

If that's the case then dude...step back from the hallucinogens for a wee bit.

[XNASA]

47. Another, eh?

Good gawd, how many little SLB's are wandering around? I imagine that there might be more than you know, if this one took you by surprise.

Congrats. And just think, someday....she'll be a teenager. Then you will be able to witness first-hand....my personal hell.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

61. I'll have a look down the back of the couch, just to make sure.

You never know....

[Guy_Montag]

48. Congratulations

& you made me laugh.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

59. Cheers, Edinburgian fella!

[MissMillie]

49. Congratulations!

Did you really not know your wife was preggers, or are you just pulling our collective leg?

10 lbs! big baby!

You're surrounded by women! lucky you!

[latebloomer]

50. Congrats, Dad!!

Little girls love their daddies!!

:toast:

[TrogL]

51. Dude, talk about passive

You're really got to start paying attention.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

60. It's the narcolepsy.

Well, that and all the opiates.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

52. Congratulations, my lord

More minions. I am pleased.

:toast:

[ScreamingMeemie]

55. Yaaay! Great news!

Congrats to you all!!!

[DebJ]

64. Congratulations!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

65. Thanks all, I'll pass all the good wishes on to Annie.

[DebJ]

66. As Bill Cosby says, you're not really a parent until you

have more than one. Before that, you always KNOW 'who did it'.

[dolo amber]

67. Man, tie a knot in that thing or summat!

You're gonna get mistaken for Repukes if you keep going at this rate...:P;)

Mazel Tov, my friend! :toast:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

69. Thanks. It's the last one, I promise.

I'm not a practising Catholic y'know. Well, it doesn't look like I need the practice, does it?

[PopSixSquish]

68. Yipee for You!

:toast:

[buddhamama]

70. Congrats to you and the Mrs.

Many Blessings to little Tara.

[sus]

71. OMG! Congratulations!

Tara Grace. Very pretty..

[Commendatori]

72. My sincerest congrats! (n/t)

[ronnykmarshall]

73. Congrats SLB!

What a great description!

[kimchi]

74. Congrats to you, and enjoy your growing family!

Most excellent! Make sure to let your wife rest for AT LEAST a week, and preferably longer. It ain't no picnic pushin' one of those little bundles out. Expecially 10 freakin' pounds!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

76. An IMPRESSIVE array of birthdays!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

79. Yeah, that's pretty neat, isn't it?

[matcom]

77. Think It's Yours?

:P

:spank: Matcom :spank:

[Screaming Lord Byron]

80. Well, she's certainly done some screaming, so it appears so.