Poems for freeper tombstones

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

I thought in honor of some of the short lived visitors today, we could do another tombstone poem thread...I can't find the link to the last one but I know Amber has it and will link it when she sees this..here's my first humble offering:

You've bored us all
with your Clinton hate
"name removed"
will be your fate

You can't find your ass
with both hands and a map
it's time you take
a long dirt nap

[Liberal Veteran]

1. Here's mine....

You are an ass
Your words have shone
So we have given you
This nice tombstone

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

2. good one!

[GOPisEvil]

3. A little tombstone haiku

Disruptor Alert!
Morans making little sense
Dammit! Go away!

[Liberal Veteran]

5. LOL...Haiku is funny.

:)

[htuttle]

4. Here I sit all broken hearted...

...paid a dime, and only farted.

It's a metaphor, man, it's a metaphor. Think about it.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

7. oooh..metaphor...:)

[Liberal Veteran]

6. Here's another

We're not amused
What you remarked
So under the ground
Is where you're parked

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

8. more

Your thoughts are crap
your words are crass
we humbly invite you
kiss our ass!

[Liberal Veteran]

9. Yet another (this is fun)

Not real smart
Your words do tell
We say to you
Go rot in hell

[Cheswick2.0]

10. Roses are red, Viotlets are blue

you were too dumb to post here
so, get lost and f*ck you.

[proud patriot]

11. My handy dandy all purpose sigline

:evilgrin:

[Cheswick2.0]

12. Your hair it is Greasy, ya'll posted like crazies

so we gave you a tombstone
now you're pushin up daisies.

[Duncan Grant]

13. TOO fun.

#1)
Your point of view is quite myopic -
won't you PLEASE address 'my topic'?




#2)
Your every word we do refute;
please accept our small tribute.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

14. All y'all are doing great! Love each and every one!

Your posts are vapid
your opinions smell
here's a one way ticket
to freeper hell

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. kick

[mede8er]

16. Hmmmmmmmm.........

Around the truth
You dance and dance
So now you have to die
Before you come back for another chance.......


kinda a zen thing....hehhehheh........

[Duncan Grant]

17. For the disrupters in hiding...

On other boards
you proudly boast
You've cloaked yourself
for 1,000 posts

Persuading us
that you're a 'DUmmy'
clattering that
the reich wing's crummy

Believing that
you might stay
to de-cloak on
election day

You won't be missed
not even sorely
because you've just --
disrupted poorly.
:nopity:

[markses]

18. On the Buzzing of a Rumsfeldian on an Electronic Wednesday Evening

Holidays in France
while we kissed
I heard you shrieking the same
sad melody from
The other side of the ocean
The sad soft glint of dandruff on your breath
Cobweb breath, diseased with normalcy
Spider breath, incensed with shimmering victimhood
Grave breath, conjured with small lies
Small indecencies
Small and no longer mastering
History's lost phantom kingdom
All the way from across
the ocean

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

24. OK that's deep

the soft sad glint of dandruff on your breath :wtf:

[markses]

31. LOL

Refrigerator magnet poetry
Twirling
Recombinant as blood and fiber
Destitute...

:evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

32. Oh may I join you?

breath as sweet as a dairy farm
osmosis of fecal and grey matter
alchemy as the enemy

[markses]

34. Ashcroft and Your Average Meal

Dinner was sweet that night you bugged me bird of prey you shouldn't reproach the bird of prey for being a bird of prey but on we march with a sea of suits and well-shined wing-tips sunglasses all aglitter secret superstars all the secrets in the world the night you bugged me bubbling up and wrecking calm forests swamping the avenues these well-shined wing-tips birds of song neat haircuts sunglasses dark and furtive confident chins and practicing hazardous driving maneuvers in the Taco Bell parking lots a million movie screens and conference rooms and the birds of prey are on fire roasting like spit chickens in the supermarket glass case an easy dinner because she didn't feel like cooking that night tired from files and yoga and other aberrations the night you bugged me because we even love the little lambs we birds of prey roasting like supermarket self-checkout aisles confusion and scanners we even love the little lambs so tender and so sweet the night you bugged us with mosquitos and loaded questions beckoning a thousand glimmering sunglasses like the movies made you do it the devil made me do it the songs the birds of prey the airliners and the supermarkets zooming in at four hundred miles an hour in the Taco Bell parking lots where we learn evasive maneuvers choirs and yoga four hundred miles an hour you birds of prey the devil made me do it in this sea of suits we birds of prey and birds of song we double-chinned broken-words stolen from Solomon and Saul before the scales fell we supermarket check-out girls (we just started wearing contact lenses and now look a thousand times better so maybe we'll find love the night you bug us or at least a little nakedness in this land of drapes and money) we roast chickens we sunglassed questioners we stunt-drivers virtually alone the night you bugged us we with our birds of prey at four-hundred miles and hour and our well-shined nakedness....

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

36. I'm not worthy!

*bows in awe of your brilliance!*

[markses]

39. You must go on!

Or, Bees Can't Dance Another's Dance

Some guy once told me
That bees can tell other bees
Where flowers are
By dancing,
But that
Those other bees can't tell
Other bees
What the first bee danced.
Bees can't dance
Another bee's dance,
And bees aren't really
After the flower
Anyway.

:evilgrin:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

19. How about:

Compassion is decent.
Bullying's crass.
It's too bad you died
With your head up your ass.

(Ooo that was fun!)

[bo44]

20. here's a corny one

Here lies a moron whose ignorance cannot be described without the invention of a new word.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

23. OMFG!! Bo where the hell you been?

:hi:

[Lautremont]

21. Here's one:

On leaving McD's you had a thought:
"These freedom fries are much too hot!"
One fell and burned you where you pee,
Too bad you drove an SUV.

(see, he swerved when the french fry fell and his SUV tipped over, and... oh, never mind.)

[Unperson 309]

22. Here's One! Or Two! Or...

You hit 'Send' and gloated
"Can't boot THIS kid!"...
This tombstone proves we could
And DID!


Here lies dust
Of busted Freeper!
If you come back,
We'll bury you DEEPER!


Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust!
Another Freeper,
Another bust!


Here Lies A Soul
Known but to GOP!

(read down the left side)
Friend to no liberal
Restored to anonymity.
Endeavored to run
Enshrouded in amity.
Peeked out of hiding,
Enmity shown!
Removed forthwith!
Stupid cover BLOWN!

309

[Bhaisahab]

25. Stephen Crane would be apt on their tombstones...

TAKE YER PICK:

Yes, I have a thousand tongues,
And nine and ninety-nine lie.
Though I strive to use the one,
It will make no melody at my will,
But is dead in my mouth.


===============================

I saw a man pursuing the horizon,
Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this;
I accosted the man.
"It is futile," I said.
"You can never-"

"You lie," he cried,
And ran on.

=================================

A man saw a ball of gold in the sky;
He climbed for it,
And eventually he achieved it --
It was clay.

Now this is the strange part:
When the man went to the earth
And looked again,
Lo, there was the ball of gold.
It was a ball of gold.
Aye, by the heavens, it was a ball of gold.

[WHAT]

26. Here I sit...

with my guilt complexes and id...

but I argue objectively...

I'm not as bad as I could be...

hehehe...

[LowerManhattanite]

27. Here's three for the list.

We hope you had some fun,
you simple f*cktard faker.
Say hello now whydontcha
to the cyber-undertaker.

Your fifteen minutes are up you idiot,
and you've as much life as driftwood.
The next face DU assures you'll see,
will be that of "Crossing Over's John Edward.


There once was a freeper who trolled,
whose posts smacked of a six-year old,
On DU he spent one day on,
tapping his keyboard with a crayon.
Now he lies in the earth gathering mold

[OKNancy]

28. I saved that old thread because

it was one of the funniest I've read in a long time.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=334038

Here are three from Mac56


Here lies a troll
A liberal-hater
Who tried to be
A master baiter


He tried to troll
But we were wiser
And now he serves as
Fertilizer.


He sauntered in
To cause distress
And now the dirt
Is his address.

[NoPasaran]

29. As a DemonRAT

I tried to pass
But the EvilDUers
SHot me in the ass

[Misunderestimator]

30. Ok, this is all I can manage this early in the morning:

You come here under the guise of trust
And think your opinion is just a must
So you try and try but can't succeed
To be anything but a really bad seed.

You use the same arguments as your friends
Who say "Prove I'm wrong?" again and again,
While ignoring the evidence layed at your feet
Until you end up thrown out to the street.

[derby378]

33. Here's one for Fred Phelps

Here lies Fred Phelps, Kansas bigot,
Who spoke ill of everyone save God,
Giving the excuse, "I never knew him"

[KamaAina]

35. Your right-wing filth

is a crashing bore
You will disrupt us
Nevermore

[GumboYaYa]

37. Tweddle Dee, Tweedle Dum, below this headstone lies

right-wing scum.

[pink-o]

38. Endless summer

Oh pious one,
with words of spite
you prayed to God
Your foes He smite

You knew you'd sit
At His right hand
Good "Christian" soldier
Who took a stand

So when you passed
They'd open the gates
But surprise, surpise
They don't allow hate

So there you sit
You stupid troll
Your ass is fried
There's no climate control

So enjoy your afterlife
In your Dante's Inferno
Get used to the heat
It's gonna be eternal.


(Okay, it's called Poetic License, gimme a break :hi: )

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

40. kickin the mutha back up to the top

[Misunderestimator]

41. You're so vain... you probably think this thread is about you...

Oh wait... that would make a lovely epitaph for a freeper. :)