How old were you at your first marriage?

[elfwitch]

Poll question: How old were you at your first marriage?

Only your first. I know that some people have been married more than once.

SIDE QUESTION:
If you are no longer in your first marriage, what factor do you think contributed to your first divorce?

SIDE QUESTION Part II:
If you caould have done your first differently, would you have waited longer to get married or would you have gotten married sooner?

[elfwitch]

1. I was 27

I figure that getting married under the age of 25 is just asking for disaster.

[SarahB]

2. Yep

I was 19. He was 28 though. He's very secure in his feelings for me. I'm not so much. I knew I wasn't ready. I guess I was just trying to do the right thing in the circumstances we were in at the time. Tried to do the right thing for a long time.

Side Question 1: Still married, but heavily leaning toward divorce. Factors are very personal, but mostly the beginning of things that started on his part 6 years ago that I don't feel as comfortable saying publically. Other personal stuff. My young age as well when were married and I how never felt like he was the right man for me. I love him as a person and friend, but he's very possessive of me and I can't handle that as a full grown woman.

Side Question 2: I would have definately waited longer. Even if I decided to go ahead and have my daughter, I wouldn't have necessarily gotten married until I was sure. Things got better and were very good for awhile, but deep inside, I never felt quite right either. I jsut couldn't put my finger on it.

[flamingyouth]

5. Marlene Dietrich has this on her headstone:

"I did what I thought was right at the time." It's a good thing to remember.

I hope things will be better for you soon.:hug:

[SarahB]

9. Thanks

I try to remember that between my many moments of guilt-ridden angst.

As far as getting better soon, well Sweetie, you need those hugs more than me right now. You're an awesome person.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[flamingyouth]

10. Thank you, honey

You're an angel and have been wonderful to me.:hug:

[flamingyouth]

3. I was 24

I was too young, I see now in retrospect.

[TX-RAT]

4. Married since 74

She hasn't run me off yet.

[MaineDem]

22. We've been married since '74 as well

Happy 30th to us all! :)

[TX-RAT]

24. Our is October 8th

We'll be spending it in Destin Fla.

[MaineDem]

27. Ours is Aug 17

We'll be in Nova Scotia.

Looking for a new home maybe. (Depending on results in November.) :)

[TX-RAT]

28. Congrats

Long healthy life for you both.

[supernova]

6. We were 24

Still too young. Neither one of us was established yet, professionally nor as individuals ourselves.

[pink-o]

7. Wow! I thought I was the only one

Who would choose 40 or over. I think most women are brainwashed into getting married a lot earlier, especially if they want children. But I'm Sagittarius, and males and females born under that sign are totally commitment phobic. My (now ex) husband really strong-armed me into it, then dumped me and cheated on me. When I came to my senses, I realised my first marriage was gonna be my last.

Feminism aside, it's deeply ingrained in society that women will take on all the burdens of the relationship. I despise anything that compromises my freedom and spontenaety, so.....

Rebuttals welcome, of course:pals:

[Bonhomme Richard]

8. 21 years old.

Had a son at 22. Jesus, I was just a kid still.
No job, no car and no honeymoon. I was a romantic, guess I still am. I was lucky everything worked out pretty well.

[notadmblnd]

11. married at 30

first and only child at 34 and widow at 45.

[TN al]

12. The reasons for my first marriage ending were, in retrospect...

...evident at the beginning. The one thing I would have done differently is I would have married my second wife first.

[sui generis]

13. well not legally ALLOWED to marry

or to dispose of my own estate as I see fit, but 10 years in first, ended by unexpected death (not of myself, of course), and 12 in the current one. Answer to SQII: nothing drastically different. I think that early in the first relationship maybe I would have asked more people for advice about basic life problems (and actually listened to what they were saying) and brought that extra bit into the relationship. It would have made things easier in the beginning, since I was still relatively a child, and there weren't really any rule books or great role models at the time for "our kind". I would have trusted more people outside of my relationship.

[ProfessorGAC]

14. 23. No Divorce. Nothing Differently. Still Married. 24 Years

The Professor

[asjr]

15. Old enough to have known better--24

[Throckmorton]

16. Where do i fit in.

According to the State of Connecticut I am no longer married. If I had it to do over again, I would have married at 19, instead of 29.

[arwalden]

17. hi

:hug:

[fudge stripe cookays]

18. Just 2 weeks before my 34th B-day.

And he was 32.

I'm glad I waited. Number one, no one ever asked me when I was younger. But I'm glad now that no one did. Because I probably would have been stupid enough to say yes.

reprehensor and I have such a wonderful relationship. And we know how lucky we are. I think our maturity, thoughtfulness, and kindness to each other, along with rampant silliness are the best things about us.

Any of you younger kids reading now....live your life FULLY being single and experiencing every adventure life holds before you settle down with someone and go for the mortgage, the 2.2 kids, and all that.

I'm glad I waited, but there are STILL things I wish I'd done and haven't.

[tigereye]

31. good advice FSC!

I think people are in too big a hurry sometimes. But then I have been with my current and only husband since I was 20, although we didn't get married until we were in our thirties. I was 33. I think cohabiting is good, it worked well for us. But we had a lot of time to enjoy each other and run around doing cool stuff before we had a kid, the house, the cars and the career thing. So... JMO.

[Nikia]

19. 22

We are both still maturing quite a bit but are doing alright having been married a little over 3 years. We met when we were 19 though and had a serious relationship right away. My husband's parents thought that we were too young to marry. In some ways maybe, but I am glad that I am married to him. Society encourages serious relationships as prelaude to marriage even in early teens as opposed to casual courting with a serious relationship not starting until engagement. I was happy in my relationship with my husband. I wasn't going to break up with him and I wasn't going to just keep on dating him for a few more years when we already had a marriage level emotional committment.

[geniph]

20. I was not quite 32

and I knew when we were standing in front of the J.P. that this was a mistake. He was a very nice man, and he was all wrong for me. It lasted five years (technically - it was 5 years until we formally divorced, but the marriage itself was over within 3 years). Had I had any sense, I would not have married until I married JohnYawl 5 years ago (when I was 39).

[Dan-W]

21. We were 29.

Born 11 days apart in the same month. Dated/engaged a total of six months. Eight years (and a son & daughter) later she died of cancer.
I would have married Kathie at 22, if I'd known her that young.
Single parent for 9 years.
I married again in '96; divorced last summer. Amicably.

[Iris]

23. 27 - and

many people in my town did not believe it was my FIRST wedding!


First and only; nothing different.

[Kat45]

25. I'll let you know when I have my first marriage.

:bounce:

[GreenPartyVoter]

26. 21...still married 11 years later

[Dying Eagle]

29. 19

and i'm 23 today and still married

[Pithlet]

30. I was 23

Side Question: Too young, and our pesonal goals just didn't mesh. He was a bit controlling, also.

Side Question II: Well, if I had done things differently, it wouldn't have led me to where I am now, so I have no regrets. But, I would have done things differently. I would have seen the signs that things would go wrong much sooner, I think, having the wisdom I do today.