Age of death of the deceased and greiving

[Nikia]

As I said before, my grandfather recently died at the age of 71 after being in the hospital for one week with heart problems. My granmother had taken him to the emergency room where they discovered that he had two recent heart attacks and an aortic aneurism. He died during emergency surgery to repair the aneurism which they hadn't planned for another week since he had been week and on blood thinners.
He hadn't been in chronic bad health before aside from treated diabetes and high blood pressure(afflictions which we know people who have lived for decades with). It was sudden to us.
We all cried during his funeral. We all greived. I am still sad.
I only have been to a few other funerals. When I attended the funeral of a high school classmate, everyone cried, even those who didn't really know him that well. At my great grandmother's funerals who died at 85 and 102, no one really cried. They were true celebrations of women who had lived full lives. It was if everyone had accepted that they would die soon and there was nothing to be sad about.
Is there an age (of the deceased) where people stop greiving their loved ones and accept their deaths better? My grandfather was my first grandparent to die. I don't know that it will make me greive my other grandparents's deaths less even if they hit triple digits or will it? Does a lengthy illness or health problems make it easier to accept someone's death (not that I would wish that on anyone)? Is there an age which we start expecting that someone won't be around much longer and accept their deaths when they happen as a result? Is ther an age which we accept death as naturual as opposed to someone dying too soon?

[Pithlet]

1. I don't know if you grieve any less

because they are older. I think the death of a young person is just so heart wrenching because in addition to the grief, there is the fact that their life was cut so short. They should be around for much longer, but they aren't. It makes it harder to take. I don't think we really mourn any less the older our loved ones get. But of course, the process is a personal one, and is different for all of us.

[AlCzervik]

2. I was 17 when my mother died

after a lengthy bout with cancer. I took care of her in the last 2 years of her life and the good people of hospice. I will be 37 next month and i still grieve today, it's not nearly as bad as it once was but honestly not a day goes by that i don't think about her, she was 44 when she died. My Grandfather died about 4 months ago, he was 86 and had been suffering for the last few months of his life. I was very close to him even though i live 3000 miles away. He had a nick name for me and he and my Grandmother"Nana" were a huge support for me when my mother died. When i found out that he did die i was overwhelmed with sadness, in fact i spent the weekend pretty much crying and throwing up. I miss him everyday but i realize that i'm damn lucky i had him till this age.

[Ginaz]

3. There's a reason why it hurts

When you lose people who are important to you, it leaves a hole in your life that will always be there. The only thing to do is to fill that hole with memories and love. After a time, the hurt will become an ache, and then a kind of wistfulness.

So long as you remember them, however, you will never lose them.

[FARAFIELD]

4. HMMM

My grandmother recently died. I wasnt anymore ready for it as when she told me (via christmas card no less). I think you have to look at the audience in a funeral as individuals. For me death of anyone close is always a summation of all deaths that have come before it. As if another chapter of my own life is closed. Its always time to think about the people Im close to as well. The people ive grown apart from and the reasons why i have grown apart from them. I think about my own life and for some reason when im in a church for a funeral i always think of the penultimate scene from "schindlers list" when Liam Neeson emotes (as he looks at his gold nazi lapel pin) "I could have gotten one more out, one more person". I usually cry at that point and vow that i wont leave anything behind to regret. So if all those complicated thoughts go through my head, Im sure it is equally complicated for each individual. Some to the point that they cannot cry. I felt sad that my grandfather took so much good care of my grandmother for the last year of her life (thats why i cried when Nancy Reagan cried when they handed her the flag in California). No one should have to go through that but we get strength if they do. Celebrate the life and youll handle the grief better i think. Just writing this helps me think of the ones that ive lost. I told my gramma before she died, that she taught me to love competition, enjoy my teamates. I told her that every one of her grandkids wanted to be like her. Other than "I love you" it was the last time we talked.

[NightTrain]

5. My parents were both in their early 60s when they died.

My mom passed at in 1994 at 61, and my dad in 1998 at 62. From time to time, I still get misty-eyed thinking about them.