For the next 100 posts...

[Guy_Montag]

I am able to:
Heal the sick...
Convert homosexuals back to righteous heterosexuality...
Turn wine, beer or gin into water (not suitable for drinking)...
Raise the dead (2D6 skeletons, once per day)...
Be righteously indignant about all sorts of things...
Ummm, other stuff...

If you need my ministrations, post here & I will lay my hands on you and through the power of the 700 Club I will drive the demons out of you.

[Political_Junkie]

1. LOL,

didn't realize you could reek that much havoc when you reached the 700 club.
Congrats!

[Guy_Montag]

2. You must not laugh at the power...

but I am a representative of a forgiving god & I'd only have to heal you after smiting you.

[Political_Junkie]

3. What if I don't want to be healed?

I like my evil ways! :evilgrin:

[BlondieK143]

4. But what's the fun in that??

Hey Guy, can you heal my frustration?? :evilgrin:

[Guy_Montag]

5. Of course Blondie,

if I just lay my hands on you, one there & one there, and start...
:evilgrin:

oh this is going to be difficult I might need to use other parts of my sacred body for this.

[BlondieK143]

7. ....

:wow:

[Guy_Montag]

8. Don't be frightened...

I'm here to help you get over your frustration, & this is the best way. Because I have the power of the 700 Club in me it's not evil.O8)

[BlondieK143]

9. Oh trust me.

I'm far from frightened! :evilgrin:

[Guy_Montag]

10. In that case...

I'm saving you, I'm saving you...

uhhh, that's you saved.

[BlondieK143]

11. Now THAT

was bad. :D

[Guy_Montag]

12. It was done for your own good...

I put my own salvation on the line to save you, & that's the thanks I get.:shrug:

[Guy_Montag]

6. You are a sinner & must be saved!!

You just think you like your evil ways because Satin (Satan's soft, shiny friend) is in you.

You can only be saved by being locked in a small, dark room & beaten every time you touch yourself.

I shall pray for you so you do not need food & then after several weeks you will know how wrong you were.

[Insider]

13. save yourself, x man

reflect, repent, repeat.

"Turn wine, beer or gin into water"
now THAT was funny

[pagerbear]

14. This homosexual refuses to be converted to any kind of heterosexuality!

Righteous or otherwise.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

15. 2d6 skeletons per day..............................

HA!!!!!! Thats great! Guy Montag, righteous cleric.