HELP!!! I need advice... PART 3

[battleknight24]

Did you guys read PART 2

Well, I was at that other girls party... and I left at 12 midnight... I honestly thought that my friends party was going to last a long time... I got the VFW hall and no one was there.

I went to her house and I walked in and her, her family, and an old friend of hers was there. She was opening gifts and doing other stuff. She was pissed. When her friend left and her family went to bed, I hung around for a few minutes, trying to make small talk... after a few minutes... she just got up and said "You know, I am really tired, can you leave?"

A few weeks later, at school, (we are attending summer school at the same nearby University) I called her and went over to her dorm. We got into a fight and, under my breath, I told her fuck you and called her a bitch.

And things haven't been the same since... I've called her once every few days and tried to tell her I was sorry and stuff... But she's acting different now... like she doesn't think she wants to be my friend anymore... And trust me... she is serious...

Advice ANYONE!!!

[DS1]

1. Dude, she's in college

and surrounded by guys. Find a fork.

You're done.

[JVS]

2. Don't speak under your breath. Call her a bitch loudly

[battleknight24]

4. ?

?

[JVS]

7. ? backatcha

[JVS]

22. It was a joke

Person A: she's mad at me because I insulted her under my breath.

Person B: well it is rude to mumble, you should speak up.

Ba-da-bum

[battleknight24]

25. I get it!!!

I'm just still feeling a little down right now... besides, some jokes don't go over well here on the internet...

[JVS]

3. Start a rumor on campus that she has herpes

[battleknight24]

6. No way man...

I can't do that... nope...

[JVS]

13. Is her friend still to be had?

If she is, problem solved

[battleknight24]

24. (Original poster here) I'm not sure if her friend has a boyfriend...

... it might be one of those on again, off again things... She's cool (my friends friend)... pretty, very smart, tall (I don't mean to be a total dog, but I have a thing for tall girls)

The problem isn't that she's friends with my best friend...

1. I'm not sure how she feel about me (friend vs. potential boyfriend material)

2. She's heading to UT-Austin in the Fall. I'm going to stay here in South Texas and finish my Bachelors here... I've made a few mistakes and it has taken me a while to get my shit together...

3. She's (the friend) is in Italy right now... she's coming back in about a week or so...

[Sperk]

5. write her a nice letter and tell her how you feel about her, she'll

come around. Flowers wouldn't hurt either. And then treat her better!

[Don_G]

8. Apologize And Tell Her The "Truth And Circumstances"

I would suggest a letter since she isn't speaking to you and, if you're romantically inclined toward each other, burying it in the middle of a dozen long-stemmed red roses wouldn't hurt much.

You have to remember to tell the truth though. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than lying.

[TOhioLiberal]

9. you screwed up...

I agree, Stick a fork in him, he's done.

(three posts to get to this point...Soap opera!) :)

[battleknight24]

12. You mean stick a fork in myself...

... not very dramatic...

[DS1]

32. not compared to dragging out this weirdness over three threads

no, not very dramatic

[orthogonal]

10. Apologize and throw yourself on the mercy of the court?

So, apologize, admit that you were an insensitive jerk, and explain it's because your feelings for her are so strong that they whip you around and leave you confused and that no matter what you've been such important parts of each others' lives for so long now that you can't your momentary confusion come between you any longer.

[PittPoliSci]

11. let her come back to you.

if she wants to act like a pain in the ass, let her make amends, you've tried, fuck her.

[SarahB]

14. Sometimes with women

We hope and wait things get better, try to be supportive, etc. but then one day some little thing happens which in of itself is no big deal, but it ends up being the straw that breaks the camel's back.

[battleknight24]

17. (I'm the original poster...) Honestly, this might be the last straw...

... our friendship has had its ups and downs, but she has NEVER acted the way she is acting now...

[SarahB]

19. Hopefully, you can come to a peaceful resolution

Nothing worse than feeling like someone you cared for hates your guts and you don't quite get why.

[jukes]

34. b/k

it's over. if you grovel & beg you're going to push her farther. in my experience, woman may like sensitive guys, but are really turned off by needyguys. you've apologized, let her get over it or not. if you whine, you can forget even retaining a smidge of friendship.

hate to say it, but it sounds like she's developed a new interest.




give it some space and see if it straightens out. o'wise, keep her onboard as a more-distant friend, & be ready for whatever the future has to offer.

[Kadie]

15. Sounds like you have been very charming

Give her space, buy her some nice jewelry, write a nice long letter of apology. Mail the jewelry and letter to her and wait for her to contact you.

If she contacts you great, if she doesn't, well at least she will have a nice piece of jewelry to remember you by.

Sorry, I don't have anything better than that. Good Luck.

[PittPoliSci]

16. buy her jewelry?

does that ever work?

[Kadie]

21. Absolutely

I like flowers, but hey, they don't last long. If you want to show you really care, for the long haul, jewelry is it. It is something she can enjoy for years and it will always remind her of the one that gave it to her.

Don't know if it will change her mind and that she will forgive him, but if they have really had such a long friendship then I think it is appropriate.

[JVS]

18. Ok, serious question time. Was she ever your Girlfriend or was she ...

always a friend who was a girl?

2 possibilities

If you have a girlfriend who starts giving you the cold shoulder when you ask her why she couldn't seem to get her shit together enough to not have to find out if she'd graduate until the day of graduation, then she's a headcase and you are better off without her.

If she never was your girlfriend in the first place then you should remember that there are other fish in the sea.

[battleknight24]

20. (I'm the original poster...) Its complicated...

... and that's an understatement... we've talked about it... and we've had... uh... intense experiences together... ! ... if you know what I mean... AND, sometimes we were together so often that lots of people in our own small town that we were an item... but for various reasons, we've just stayed friends... and she's beautiful too, which always complicated things for me...

I can tell you guys more if you have time...

[JVS]

26. I'm getting the impression that you've been played as a fool

and by a teenager no less!

What were these various reasons that kept you from being more than just "friends"?

Why does her looking good complicate things for you? Do good looks frighten you?

Intense experiences, I'm not sure I follow you. Were you a lover or a mere confidant?

[battleknight24]

27. (Original Poster) Why do you think I've been played for a fool???

???

[JVS]

28. Because you are a 22 year old man who is sweating an 18 year old girl...

who because of some kind of complications really never was your girlfriend to begin with. Mind you, I'm not sure that you've been played for a fool, but when someone is being pained by a romantic interest who is less than 82% his age alarm bells go off. I'll be here for a while anyway so please explain the situation if you think that everything is on the up and up.

[battleknight24]

29. You know... she does have a lot of growing up to do...

... the whole fiasco with that paper and graduation was just one incident... I don't know...

[battleknight24]

31. Don't send me an e-mail... send me a private message...

... through DU if you are going to reply privately...

[DustMolecule]

23. She's sending you a message by her behavior.....

...you'll either 'get it' or you won't. It's a defining 'moment'....it's not HER, it's YOU. The ball is clearly in your court.

Good Luck!

[battleknight24]

30. What don't I get?

???

[AngryAmish]

33. Screw her

Giving flowers, jewelry and other things just make you a needy fool in her eyes. If she wants to be with you then she will call her. She has fingers and can dial. (Unless she is like that sportscaster's wife who has claws, but that is beside the point).

If she does not call you then stop bothering her. Life is not a romantic comedy. There are other girls out there.

Or go ahead and kill her pets. I don't care.