Overheard

[sus]

In public places, conversation fragments float by, stick to your brain, catch your attention. You don't look up, or over, but you remember what is said.

Real conversations, phrases, things overheard, post here.

[GOPisEvil]

1. If it weren't for my horse, I'd have never spent that year in college.

Sorry...channeling Lewis Black there for a bit.

[sus]

2. Outside a restaurant, earlier today:

Woman, well-dressed, normal-looking: "If he hadn't been acting like such a goddamned jackass, I wouldn't have had to hit him upside the head with the beer bottle."

2nd woman, also well-dressed and normal-looking: "And he had you arrested for that? What an asshole!"

[mrboba1]

3. overheard at work

"well son, maybe he shouldn't have anal penetration for a while"

Come on, now! At work, in a cube farm!??!

[SheepyMcSheepster]

4. at the gas pump last week.

overheard a guy feeling up his car: "30 F*cking dollars! goddamn republicans, i'm not voting for them again"

this was in a rural area in western NC, not exactly the hotbed of progressive thought.

edit: and yes, that is supposed to be "filling" instead of "feeling", freud strikes again. :silly:

[sus]

6. hahahaha! "i'm not voting for them AGAIN." nice.

[mrboba1]

9. I dunno, feeling up a car

for $30 might not be so bad. It's better than a prostitute!!
:evilgrin:

[SheepyMcSheepster]

13. LOL.

[Lestat]

5. Overheard between two squirrels:

Squirrel 1: Look at that idiot on the computer!
Squirrel 2: Should we light him on fire?
1: Hell yeah! Let's do it!
Both: (laughter)

:scared:

[The empressof all]

7. He's such a jerk

But I love him. I just love him.

[arbusto_baboso]

8. Heard two soccer-mom-types in Santa Barbara talking....

One says to the other, "But how can you actually earn enough to make a living as a professional dominatrix?"

[sus]

10. one of my faves from a few years ago and i regret not asking them about it

a table of old men in a little country diner. one of them pipes up, "i'd wear a skirt if they'd let me."

[TX-RAT]

11. At a restaurant with my wife

Overheard one young man say to another. Tell Don about the time the dynamite went off early. Must admit, i really wanted to hear that one.

[Wickerman]

12. In a rough bar in San Antonio, Waitress to two stylish gentlemen

"would you boys like another round of Zimas to wash down that cheesecake?" Maybe you had to be there.

[arbusto_baboso]

14. Someone overheard me say this out of context and needed the full story

"That's when he shot the typewriter."

[radwriter0555]

15. Dan Tana's. West Hollywood. Some italian guys from Joisey, in town

having dinner with a pal of their who owns the Mirage..

Italiano Guy with the Blonde Dumb Girl Friend and big shiney capped teeth, gold chains, shirt unbuttoned down to there:

"So did ya hear that Joey ended up out in dat landfill on the udda side of Trenton?"

(laughter, all around the table)

The Other Italiano Guy, fat, curly grey hair, paunch, toothpick in mouth:

"Hey, we all saw dat coming, dint we?"

[pagerbear]

16. In a deli

"Amiable, shmamiable--a divorce is a divorce!"

[midnight armadillo]

17. Overheard at work

an Israeli lecturing a Spaniard on the realities of the Middle East. It went something like (nearly verbatim): "The countries all around Israel - Syria, Egypt, Jordan - they're all demons. At some point they'll need to be defeated."

And we wonder why there's no peace in the Middle East!

[Richardo]

18. My all-time favorite (I heard it in Louisiana): "The plot thickens....

...when you add a little roux." :D

[pagerbear]

20. Wouldn't that be rue?

[pagerbear]

19. I was the one talking

"But none of us recalled ever having seen Gretl drop the big tomato!"

(Recalling adverts for Sound of Music tours in Salzburg that referred to a scene that none of us who had grown up on the edited for-TV version had seen.)

[sus]

21. two 13-year-old girls walking by on main street:

Girl One says to Girl Two:

"I am the Queen! I'm the ham and cheese! I am the rainbow!"

[GOPisEvil]

23. I would have been so tempted to say:

"I am the walrus, coo-coo-ca-choo!" And just walk off.

[sus]

22. at a gas station while filling up:

High school girl 1: Put out that cigarette when you fill up!

HSG2: It's cool. You could throw it into the tank and it would go out before it would blow up!

My friend to me: ....erm, hurry up.

[sus]

24. okay one more.

a young couple sitting on the ground outside of a bar at about 1am. leaning her head against the wall, girl says to boy:

well i can tell you one thing. i do NOT like sitting in shit..

[dolo amber]

25. In a Drug Emporium, mother to daughter (KY accent):

"You don't need no douche; that stuff'll eat the linin' out of your vagina!!"

Keep in mind I was a good 2-3 aisles from the one they were in...

Yes, I nearly shat myself laughing. :D

[sus]

27. HAHAHAHA!!! that's a riot!

On the Disney shuttle, early in the morning, little girl (5 years old maybe) picking her nose and putting her finger in her mouth, over and over again. Her mother glares at her and says "I thought you said you didn't do that anymore."

Her answer, "But Mom! I'm HUNGRY!!"

[adriennel]

26. shopping at Best Buy,

a nice couple was looking at Tivo

the woman said: "that thing can, like, read your mind!"

I almost bust out laughing...I hope she's not disappointed if she signs up for Tivo service

[sus]

28. One Amish child to another, standing online in Lancaster:

"Eli, don't be a faggot!"