I am the King Of Paperboys! Ask me about paper delivery!

[King Of Paperboys]

Ever wonder how your newspaper gets to you? Ask me anything!

[Trajan]

1. I founded a women-only gym ...

and Im producing glossy sales flyers in-house ...

HOW MUCH would it cost me to bypass newspaper management and give them directly to 'paperboys' to stuff and deliver with the Sunday Paper ..????

[King Of Paperboys]

3. Much more than the conventional way.

Paperboys are forbidden from inserting their own stuff, so they'd be risking their routes. That's extra. Contacting and coordinating with each paperboy would be a nightmare. The newspaper is much better-equipped to give you a good rate on doing the inserting. But remember: EVERYTHING is negotiable!

[Trajan]

19. Granted, there is risk ....

But isnt there always risk ? ....

Furthermore: Isnt the paperboy a quaint anachronism which doesnt really exist anymore ? ...

Papers are now thrown by adults in dented japanese pickups. right ??? ...

[King Of Paperboys]

21. Well, I'm a 38-year old man in a compact car...

But I'm still the paperboy. ;)

[Beware the Beast Man]

2. Which dogs are the worst?

I was a paperboy, and the worst were small dogs. Chihuahuas, toy dogs, etc. The worst large dogs were spaniels. Someone on my route had a pit bull that was the sweetest little thing, believe it or not.

[King Of Paperboys]

5. Since I deliver in a car,

Dogs are not too big a problem... they are in MUCH more danger from me, than I am from them... especially the ones that try to bite the car and the tires.

But, when I was a lad, delivering on my Huffy, I was bitten by a Weimaraner and a Springer Spaniel, and almost bitten (knocked over) by a Great Dane. So go figure.

[Beware the Beast Man]

8. Yep, another spaniel horror story

And like great Danes, retrievers can maul you with kindness. Sometimes the big, dumb dogs are as bad as the mean ones.

Edit- misspelled "dog". Used the word "dong!"

[matcom]

4. why do you always throw it on my wife's newly planted flowers?

x(

crushing them when they haven't been in the ground more than 12 hours. and with the SUNDAY edition no less!

[King Of Paperboys]

6. Because you failed to tip properly?

Or because I just don't care?

Seriously: If you have a placement problem with the paper, contact the carrier, or ask the newspaper to have the carrier contact YOU. We listen.

[Gothic Sponge]

7. Do you use recycled paper?

[King Of Paperboys]

9. We just throws 'em.

We don't prints 'em.

But it's my understanding that the newsprint is almost ALL recycled.

[Don_G]

10. How Do They Get The New York Times To You?

Print them up in regional centers and ship them by plane to the local carriers?

[King Of Paperboys]

12. Nope, not quite.

They print them locally. All over the country. Then local agents (usually a distributor for the hometown paper) distribute them to carriers. The Times and USA Today contract out with local papers to print their papers and distribute them.

[Don_G]

22. Ganett Owns My Local Paper

And since they "are" USA today and the only paper in town, do they print the NYT locally on contract too?

[King Of Paperboys]

25. Interestingly enough, not necessarily.

Gannett will contract with whichever local paper gives the best terms... even if that paper competes with a Gannett paper!

[Blue-Jay]

11. How did you get to be the "King"?

I didn't vote for you.

[King Of Paperboys]

Sometimes, a leader is not elected.

Sometimes, a leader is thrust upon you. Gonna do something about it?

[Blue-Jay]

16. I wondered if maybe the Lady of the Ink

lobbed a New York Times at your head or something.

[King Of Paperboys]

20. LOL

No, in actuality, I took my name from the Stern show. It's supposed to be "King Of All Paperboys," but I screwed it up.

[DS1]

13. What is the minimum launch speed that a typical Sunday paper requires

to knock out a dog weighing less than 10 pounds which is within 30 feet.

How about if the paper has to travel through 2.5 feet of bushes?

[King Of Paperboys]

14. An African bush, or a European bush?

[DS1]

18. European, within 2 hours of a heavy downpour not exceeding 3 inches

[King Of Paperboys]

23. Do you mean the speed of the throw from the carrier's arm?

Or cumulative speed, including the velocity of the delivery vehivle?

[DS1]

27. Terminal launch speed, this includes speed of car +/- windage

[King Of Paperboys]

30. Is this dog on any medication?

When did this dog last sleep? How is the dog's general mood?

[DS1]

31. Please answer for all three scenarios

I need to be sure that you are Kingly enough to warrant my continued groveling

[King Of Paperboys]

32. OK, the MINIMUM force needed...

12.4 PB Units. Give or take .3 PB Units when Mercury is in retrograde.

[DS1]

33. Are those Imperial PB units or US?

[King Of Paperboys]

35. Metric, of course.

Imperial PB Units went out with the non-toxic ink.

[Race4Peace]

15. lucky that I quit that crap.I did it for 4 years. on my bike.

[King Of Paperboys]

17. This is not a question.

I deem you to be uncooperative.

[myrna minx]

24. Have you ever had a run in with the PAPERBOY2000?

http://entertainment.msn.com/movies/movie.aspx?m=173977

[King Of Paperboys]

26. Not personally,

But you'd be surprised how many of us have tried to dream up shit like this.

[donsu]

28. I delivered 500 papers 6 mornings a wk. for 3 yrs.

(until my car died)


I got to see the moon in all it's phases and there was no traffic.

[King Of Paperboys]

29. This is not a question.

But I'm sorry about your car. I hear that a lot.

[OneBlueSky]

34. ah, the memories . . .

when I was in high school, I delivered papers seven days a week to residents of a military housing development (my dad was in the service) . . . one of my more interesting customers was a colonel's wife who used to drive around in a green convertible with a full sized stuffed gorilla in the passenger seat . . . she would occasionally greet me in the nude when I was collecting for the papers as well . . . she'd pretend to hide behind the partially opened door, but always managed to give me at least a quick peek . . . always wondered if she ever got it on with the gorilla . . . :)

[King Of Paperboys]

37. Yeah, those were the days.

I saw a lot of stuff like that as a lad, but now, at an average of 20mph, I don't see as much.

Although a few subscribers ARE less than discreet...

[northzax]

36. have you ever had a Mrs. Robinson moment

while collecting?

I did. (course I was a bit younger than you (ok less than half) and I had to collect by hand. who knew I'd get a bigger tip than I suspected?

[King Of Paperboys]

38. I really never did.

As a lad, I was afraid of a MISTER Robinson moment once, but I got the hell out of there.

Now, I'm more afraid of car problems than any coming-of-age shit.