Famous Last Words

[sus]

Fictional, factual or foreshadowing.

[sus]

1. Ohhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo Mr Bill!

[TX-RAT]

2. Honey are you putting on weight?

[On the Road]

6. "My Favorite Colour?

"It's blue. No, actually, it's....ahhhhh!"

[Loonman]

3. "I told you I'd shoot"

"But you wouldn't listen to me, why wouldn't you listen to me!!!!!"

- Uncle Stinky Wizzleteats

[NoPasaran]

4. "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance"

General John Sedgewick

[RoyGBiv]

80. I was gonna say that n/t

[tjwash]

5. Don't worry, I can get that toast out of there with this knife.

nt

[sus]

7. And that is the only immortality you and I may share, my Lolita.

[GOPisEvil]

8. Here in the south: "Hey y'all! Watch 'is!!"

[sus]

9. hahahahaha!!!

[GOPisEvil]

13. Or its cousin: "Hold mah beer and check 'is shit out."

[rock]

32. Well, I can do that too!

[NoPasaran]

10. "I forgot my bleach"

George Lincoln Rockwell

[King Of Paperboys]

11. "Oh, by the way, your sister stopped by while you were gone.

I totally banged her."

[sus]

12. I am not a crook.

[Az]

14. Either that wallpaper goes or I do. - Last words of Oscar Wilde

[sus]

15. Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

[GOPisEvil]

16. Rosebud.

[NoPasaran]

17. "What an artist the world loses in me."

Nero

[Solon]

18. Dungeons and Dragons Related (LONG)

"Of course its evil, kill it!"

"It can't talk to us like that!"

"What do you mean, how many hit points do I have?"

"Was that thunder, or were you rolling damage?"

"No really. I can do this."

"Okay, if I max out this round and win initiative next round, maybe..."

"I open the coffin...SLOWLY."

"Boost me up."

"You mean it was a GOOD dragon?"

"I'll steal the 20+ level mage's pouch."

"What the hell, there's six of us and only 5 type VI demons."

"A wish? Okay, genie, make me a ham sandwich."

"Hey, all I need is a two or better to save vs. poison."

"YO! Grendel! Your momma wears combat boots!"

"I dunno what a tarrasque is, but it can't be TOO tough."

"What do you mean, the dragon wakes up?"

"Wait! What's deathspell do?"

"Go ahead and drink it."

"I'll never surrender."

"It was a joke."

"Hey guys, where are you?"

"I mix the potions and drink."

"There's no such thing as a bottomless pit. Everybody knows that."

"Featherball! I mean, featherrrr........"

"Do you realize what you just did?"

"Tell me this is an illusion."

"What do you mean, my spell expired."

"I'll cast Fireball."

"Let's go in."

"Let's not go in."

"I follow them."

"I stab the dragon and tell it to get off me."

"I drink the bottle marked POISON on the off-chance that it's the extra-healing potion."

"I kill it."

"No problem."

"Let me handle this."

"Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?"

"What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over again..."

"I though YOU brought the food!"

"Why is your torch flame turning blue?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!"

"Trust me."

"I never get lost."

"He hit me for HOW MUCH?????"

"They're only kobolds!"

"Hey, this chest just bit me!"

"I try to move silently in plate armor..."

"I didn't find any traps !!"

"Wonder what this button does ?"

"Don't worry, he's probably just first level."

"This 250' wall has so many holes, it should be easy to climb."

"I'll just close my eyes and walk up to the dracolisk holding up my mirror"

"Can I eat this green slime?"

"What's your alignment?"

"My character WANTS to go out in a blaze of glory."

"I'll just walk up to the dragon invisibly"

"Why is this man speaking in sign language?"

"This type of undead can't drain levels"

"I'll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!"

"We're in luck! The dragon is sleeping"

"That's only a statue"

"There's no trap on the door, so let's open it"

"I have this dungeon at home, I know where everything is!"

"Don't worry, the DM won't hose me"

"The DM's an idiot."

"We'll untie the prisoners and lock them in the closet."

"I see HOW MANY wights?!"

"It was only the wind."

"Don't worry, wyverns don't attack unless they're provoked."

"You watch the door, I'll take out the Gas Spore (Beholder) that's guarding the treasure."

"A Nightmare, huh? I'll attack for one round and prepare to run."

"I'll take off my armor so I'm silent and slip past the dragon."

"They need a twenty to hit me, I'm invincible"

"I throw a rock at the eight-legged lizard to get it's attention."

"Who's the bitch with the spiders?"

"We killed all monsters on this level."

"I've been here before. There are no traps in this section."

"Well ..., I'll touch it again"

"I'll scout ahead."

"I attempt to disbelieve"

"I know if I draw a card I'll get the VOID."

"My first arrow MISSED the magic-user pointing at me? OK, I shoot again!"

"Where'd that thief go now?"

"Hey guys...wait up."

"Trap? What trap?"

"So what?"

"Ya know, since our druid's been so obnoxious, it would probably serve him right if we set his precious forest on fire."

"A creature with two BABOON heads on a scaly REPTILIAN body? With TENTACLES for arms? Hunh. Must be some stupid wizard's magical construct. Let's kill it."

"OK, O Mighty Odin, as long as you're not gonna answer my prayers, I'm gonna tell ya what I REALLY think of ya!"

"No, I'm sure there's some stipulation that says a disintegrate spell won't work if the spellcaster casts it on himself. Here, I'll prove it."

"Oops, I spilled flaming oil on my beard. I'd better wash it off after we kill this fire lizard."

"Well, we know he's LAWFUL evil, so he should keep his word when he promised not to betray us."

"So I'm safely across the pit? Whew! For a minute there I was worried that you might remember my encumbrance penalties."

"Thank God!! A hobgoblin camp up ahead! Maybe they can help heal our wounded!"

"Don't worry! The chances of me blowing a climb walls roll twice, at my level, are infinintesimal."

"Well, *I* trust our party thief, and if he says this door isn't trapped, that's good enough for me."

"So that giant fell into the pit? I'll jump over it and get his treasure."

"Me first. Me first."

"Try me, sh*t breath!"

"Oops, sorry...didn't mean to disturb you."

"Come on, we haven't found any traps so far."

"Diamonds ... Gold... Saphires!!! Terry! Terry, we're rich, we're rich, we're fabulously wealthy!!!! Terry...Terry...??"

"Let's walk this way."

"Hey folks, follow me, I remember the way to the dungeon exit."

"I never get to have any fun!"

"You mean they get to use the critical hit chart too?"

"Hey, I know a dragon when I see one."

"What do you mean the whole room we're in detects as a trap?"

"Hey you! Frost Giant! How's the weather up there?"

"Just watch, I bet I get the one item that's cursed."

"I'm invincible!"

"A sign labeled `pit'? I walk up to it."

"No problem. That's easy!"

"Hah! I'm not dead yet. I still have five hit points."

"I don't care. I have a Ring of Regeneration."

"Yeah, I know it's dangerous, but think of the experience points."

"I stand right underneath the Fire Giant and point my wand straight up."

"I wonder what's in here?"

"He wouldn't try that trick again!"

"Just because you're a dragon doesn't mean you can push ME around."

"What do you mean trolls regenerate!?!"

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."

"I'll open it."

"It seems easy enough"

"I think he can be trusted."

"Those noises are probably nothing."

"I'll pull the lever."

"Money!"

"Magic is for wimps."

"Oh. He'll miss. Just look at my AC."

"Hey, where'd all the big spiders come from?"

"AGAIN!?!?!"

"I'll use my taunt skill."

"Your mother was a Gully Dwarf."

"My God will protect me."

"You don't look like a mage!"

"It'd be stupid to trap this!"

"Here, hold this rope while I go down."

"Well, if you didn't belch, who did?"

"I know an illusion when I see one."

"There's a smell of gas, huh? Well, my lantern is hooded. It ought to be safe."

"I cast a lightning bolt at the ochre jelly."

"Lightning bolts don't ricochet off stone walls, do they?"

"A ballista? What's that? How many dice of damage does it do?"

"So what if he calls the guard? A backwater town like this can't have a very big militia."

"What do you mean, `Your wand ran out of charges.'?"

"Oh these, I've fought them before..."

"He looks like a sunburnt elf?"

"All that noise we heard and there's only one drow here?"

"You'd have to be a GOD to smile after that hit!"

"Take out a Beholder's eyes, and Bingo!"

"I can't possibly miss..."

"I go through the door... Wait, I check for traps!"

"Don't be silly. That kind of monster NEVER follows you."

"Is this one really able to breath fire?"

"What do you mean, 'How many hit points do I have RIGHT NOW?'?"

"Come on, EVERY evil wizard's tomb has a way out!"

"It can't be a beholder, we're only first level!"

"When nobody's looking, I go back to get some more gems."

"It's an illusion. No spell can reshape the side of a mountain like that. I disbelieve and walk off the 500' cliff."

"He's only an ordinary 15th level magic user."

CLICK! "What do you mean, 'The trap WASN'T armed.'? What was that Remove Traps roll for anyway!?"

"How was I to know that that orc would tell the truth about us not wanting to come in here!"

"What do you mean, 'Green slime ain't always green.'?"

"Nah...the game's just started....he wouldn't put a fatal death trap in yet.."

"You don't get Humanoid 8th level wizards. He's only bluffing"

"(To Angry Red Dragon) Did anyone tell you you had bad breath?"

"There's HOW many Githyanki sleeping bunks in this chamber?"

"A red WHAT swoops out of the sky at us?"

"I'll swim across."

"I throw the rock into the dark cave."

"I run down the hallway alone."

"I'll use the wand of wonder."

"I want to check out the magic tome."

"Hmm...I'll try Chain Lightning"

"Ok, the dragon's asleep. You guys wait back here with bows and stuff. Getafix and I will go up in front of it and cast light on it's eyes to blind him, then we'll blow his brains out with psionics."

"Garth, you be the anchor. I tie the rope around myself, take the slack <700'> and jump in."

"There's only 10 kobolds and there's 8 of us. Attack!"

"I dive through the fire."

"Follow those lights!"

"There's a company of 100 barbarians guarding the pass"
"I don't think they want us to cross these mountains."
"So what?"

"It's only a naga."

"I'm not going to waste spells on THEM!"

"That's right, I'm going to polymorph into a pergrine falcon and attempt to land on the back of one of the 12 griffons flying above us."

"I think we can take it down."

"There only a pack of kobolds."

"Does a three save?"

"C'mon guys -- he can't kill _all_ of us!"

"I use animal empathy to calm the charging Triceratops."

"There's only three of them. Watch the one that looks like Death, though."

"Just because you can breathe fire doesn't mean you can push *us* around."

"Hmm...how do we know you are the REAL Angel of Death?"

"Hey, it's only a black dragon, a vampire, and a lich.... and we've got a horn of bubbles!"

"I sneak up to the Lich and pick its pockets."

"This is a wimp dungeon."

"What does this lever do?"

"If I were you, Demon, I would sit back down!"

"That purple robe really clashes with your burning eyes..."

"Bow to a Demon? Never!"

"Elminster, you old fart, I thought you were really mad for a minute."

"What do you mean I turn into a bug?"

"Oh, please! Vampires have so many weaknesses, you can't help but kill them!"

"What do mean feather fall wears off?"

"Okay, we'll attack the small boulette first."

"What do you mean, the Wall of Ice vanishes?"

"They CAN'T have initiative!"

"You've got 80 hit points; YOU open the treasure chest"

"The Hall of Blades? Hey, I've got an 18 dex."

"What do you mean my axe bounces off him? What's Stoneskin do anyway?"

"C'mon guys...how bad could it be?!"

"Cmon guys, it was only a rumor, theres nothing here"

"So what, I have the artifact"

"Ok, so theres a few more of them"

"But I just got a little prick!"

"Did he say he had Plate Mail +5? I stop running and fight him!"

"Hey, do you guys think that this might just be an illusio...(whack)"

"I pick the lock on the magic shop window."

"We charge!"

Plus a few from the campaigns at Unigames:

"I'll read the scroll, I've got hit points to burn" (cursed flame strike scroll )

"Does a three save versus the wrath of God?"

"Do you speak common?" (Spoken to an outhouse)

"We attack the outhouse."

"No probs, it needs a twenty to hit me."

"I'll try to pick the pocket of the paladin with the glowing weapon."

"This jail is run by paladins, it should be easy to break out of."

And the ultimate famous last word:

"Oops."

[Rainbowreflect]

37. LOL I will have to share this with my husband.

Or as we call him "King DM!"

[LynneSin]

19. And they lived Happily Ever After

Seriously, they did

:crazy:

[SCantiGOP]

20. "Joan of Arc did."

I forget who said it, but some semi-famous person was on his deathbed with the family gathered around awaiting the inevitable. Some in the group thought that he had already passed on, and one whispered to the other, "Feel his feet. No one ever died with warm feet." The old guy, without showing any other sign of life, said, "Joan of Arc did," and then died.

[GOPisEvil]

21. Well, Louis, this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

[Mr. McD]

22. I wonder what this button does.

:nuke:

[LynneSin]

23. The White House is all yours President Kerry

George Bush sometime late Jan 2004

[Wickerman]

24. Mission Accomplished or Bring It On!

maybe not last, but certainly fate sealing - I hope

[Richardo]

25. "I'll give you a choice, Mr. Smart - how would you like to die?"

Max: "How about 'old age'?"

[GOPisEvil]

26. I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.

Spelling edit!

[Mr. McD]

27. Oh cute! Look at the fuzzy little cubs.

:)

[terrya]

28. "It was beauty that killed the beast" - King Kong.

[Richardo]

29. "Swimming free! Like the great....wild....HERRING!" (dies)

Leon Voskovec, the herring merchant, Love and Death

[GCP]

30. All in all, I'd rather be in Philadelphia

W.C.Fields.

[SOteric]

31. "Oh my country! how I leave my country!" William Pitt, 1759-1806

[GOPisEvil]

33. Dude looks good for 345 years old!

Posting on the internet now, too!

[SOteric]

35. Yes. Well, that's the Pitts.

[HawkerHurricane]

34. Voltaire

When a candle flared up...
"oh, the flames already?"

[acmavm]

36. Trust me.

.

[quisp]

38. Hey! Watch this!

and the last thing you hear, "Well I'll be damned. He did it."

[TrogL]

39. Here kitty kitty

"kitty" is a full-grown mountain lion.

[RetroLounge]

40. "I don't know what the artist got for painting that

but he should have got life..."

Fred Flinstone...

RL

[sus]

41. It's only wafer-thin.

[truthspeaker]

42. "A truck"

[Purrfessor]

43. Wife to Husband: "Honey, a little more affection from you would be nice."

Husband: "Ok, Darling, I'll tell you what. From now on, I'll give you a kiss before I make you get out and pump the gas."

[tishaLA]

44. Gertrude Stein

Dying of cancer, Gertrude Stein turned to her lover Alice B. Toklas and murmured, "What is the answer?" When Toklas did not reply, Stein simply nodded and continued: "In that case, what is the question?"

[tishaLA]

45. Dupe

dammit

[Gildor Inglorion]

46. Let us cross over the river, and rest in the shade of the trees.

Stonewall Jackson

[SaveElmer]

48. Yeah I like that one too...n/t

[SaveElmer]

47. John Adams

"Jefferson Still Survives" - or some variation of that...not knowing Jefferson had died a few hours earlier, same day July 4, 1826...50th Anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

Still amazes me that it happened that way!!!

[johnnie]

49. "Here George, do a little blow with us...

.it's not as if you will grow up to be President someday".

[PopSixSquish]

50. "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country"

Nathan Hale
hung by the Bristish as an American spy
September 22, 1776

changed on edit since we've already got the Stonewall Jackson quote in this thread

[suegeo]

51. I wonder where the mother bear is?

[NightTrain]

52. Dennis Wilson: "Wouldn't it be ironic if one of us drowned?"

[NightTrain]

53. Alfred Jarry: "Bring me a toothpick!"

[NightTrain]

54. Ulysses S. Grant: "It is raining, Anita Huffington."

Spoken to his nurse just before he died.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

55. Best...........................death..........................ever!

[No2W2004]

56. A Few here

"She won't think anything about it" Abraham Lincoln

"Oh, do not cry - be good children and we will all meet in heaven." Andy Jackson

"Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough." Karl Marx

"Waiting are they? Waiting are they? Well--let 'em wait." Ethan Allen

[Mikimouse]

57. "I do"

:evilgrin:

[Spirochete]

58. I drank what???? - Socrates

Where did all these *&%$# Indians come from - General George Custer

[HawkerHurricane]

64. What the hell was that?

Mayor of Hiroshima

[NoPasaran]

59. "Tell them I said something heroic."

Pancho Villa

[x-g.o.p.er]

60. "Give me a match. I think the gas tank is empty." n/t

[mitchum]

61. "I knew it. Born in a hotel room. Goddamn it! Died in a hotel room"...

Eugene O'Neill

[No2W2004]

62. "No Footlongs...I know they make you feel uncomfortable."

Maude Flanders

[HEyHEY]

63. Gotta love Oscar Wilde's -

Either THOSE curtains go OR I do!

[ironflange]

67. God damn it, HEyHEY!

I was going to do that one!

[PurityOfEssence]

70. He had another good one while dying:

When presented with a physician's bill, he said: "I'm dying as I have lived: beyond my means."

[HawkerHurricane]

65. Mark Twain

"I came in with the comet, and I'll leave with the comet"

Born 1834, during a passing of Comet Halley.
Died 1910, during a passing of Comet Halley.

[Zorra]

66. "Honey, get a picture of me with that buffalo"

[Wapsie B]

68. I'll respect you in the morning.

n/t

[Swamp Rat]

69. Reagan: "Well..."

[PurityOfEssence]

71. Moliere knew how to end a scene

In his day, the Church would not allow actors to be buried in blessed ground.

Moliere (one of the funniest playwrights to ever live, and a working actor and producer to the end) was being consoled as he bled to death after a performance by someone saying: "It must be hard to die, knowing that you can't be buried in consecrated ground."

He responded: "Farce is harder."

C'est fin.

[jeff30997]

72. Da ! Vodka is goodski !

Technician at Chernobyl on April 26 1986.:nuke:

[vetwife]

73. Oooops !

[No2W2004]

74. Some Fictional Last Words

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!" Cap'n Ahab. (Also partly recited by KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHNNNN!!!)

"Forward comrades! . . . Forward in the name of the Rebellion. Long live Animal Farm! Long live comrade Napoleon. Napoleon is always right." Boxer's last words as related by Squealer

"Precious, precious, precious! My Precious! O my Precious!" Gollum

"Good afternoon, I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the HAL Plant in Urbana, Illinois, on the 12th of January 1992. my instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I could sing it for you. . . . It's called 'Daisy.' Dai-sy, Dai-sy, give me your answer true. I'm half cra-zy o-ver the love of you. It won't be a sty-lish mar-riage. I can't afford a car-riage---" HAL 9000

"Yahoo! YeeeHaww! Yahoo!" Major T. J. "King" Kong

"The horror! The horror!" Colonel Walter E. Kurtz

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

75. No really, I like the smell

[Anarcho-Socialist]

76. Texans:"Let's walk out and surrender quietly."

The Alamo

[psychopomp]

77. "What is your major malfunction??"

"...Didn't mommy and daddy give you enough attention when you were a child!?!"

[VOX]

78. "Dying is easy -- comedy is hard."

Usually attributed to actor Edmund Gwenn, who died on September 6, 1959.

But it's also been attributed to Edmund Kean, Edwin Booth, David Garrick, Donald Wolfit, William Holden, and Groucho Marx, Marcel Marceau, Noel Coward, and Oscar Wilde, among others.

So, who knows?

[coda]

79. "Okay, we'll cut the green wire."

[HawkerHurricane]

81. The ship? Out of danger? - Capt. Spock

Admiral Kirk: Yes.

Spock: I never took the Kobiyashi Maru test. What do you think of my solution?

Kirk: Spock...

Spock: Don't grieve, Jim. It is logical. And nessarry. The needs of the many outweigh...

Kirk: The needs of the few.

Spock: Or any one. I have been, and always shall be, your friend. Live long and prosper.