WARNING: This is weirder than any story Matcom has EVER posted!!!!!!

[LynneSin]

http://www.snopes.com/risque/bestial/deertongue.asp

From Snopes and it's TRUE!!!!

Claim: Woman seeks medical help to remove deer tongue she had used for masturbatory purposes.

Status: True.

A 1990 article from the The American Journal of Forensic Medicine and Pathology described a case in which a 29-year-old woman visited a clinic "complaining of missed periods and seeking termination of a possible pregnancy." The examining physician found and removed a "cylindrical mass of pale-gray tissue" (7 cm long and 3 cm in diameter) from her vagina. The elicitation of "further historical information" from the patient confirmed that "the object was a deer tongue used for masturbation."

The article provided no details about how the woman obtained the deer tongue, how long it had been lodged in her vagina, or whether she had truly forgotten about it until she started missing periods. (It's likely that the patient had inserted the tongue only a day or two earlier, had been unable to retrieve it herself, and had then made up a story about being concerned over missed periods and a possible pregnancy as a means of prompting a doctor's examination because she was too embarrassed to disclose to medical personnel the true nature of her complaint.)

[Loonman]

1. Jesus wept

I shouldn't have read that.....

[pagerbear]

2. Dismembered animal parts in body orifices! Makes me hot!

[JohnKleeb]

3. a deer tounge for masterbation, jesus christ

[matcom]

4. NICE ONE!!

now go vaccum your damned carpet!

:thumbsup:

[CatWoman]

12. you're just mad because she scooped Matcom News

:P

[matcom]

15. oh, not at all

it don't happen often but when it does, i applaud the poster.

unlike YOU earlier today that resurected a TWO DAY OLD story :D

:*

[CrownPrinceBandar]

Okay, I've heard it all now.................

I can die content now.

[tandot]

5. Yuck, Yuck, Yuck ....

:puke:

You definitely beat Matcom.

[matcom]

6. Is that a deer tongue in your woo or are you just happy to see me?

:bounce:

[MuseRider]

7. WTG LynneSin

you have raised the bar with this one. EWWWWWWWWW.

[Jokerman]

8. Once you've had deer tongue...

nothing else is ever quite the same.

Or so I'm told.

[underpants]

9. EMT once told me a story about a woman and an egg beater

True story. THe funny part of it was how they tried to warn the Dr. not to laugh, but when he pulled back the sheet he lost it and had to leave the room.

[belladonna]

24. I once worked in an ER on third shift

The stories I could tell about the perverted things people do would fill a book, but one that I'll mention here is a guy who came in with an electric toothbrush jammed up his bum, STILL buzzing away :evilgrin:

The funniest thing was that when he'd turn a certain way it would stop momentarily, only to start again if he shifted just the right way :D

[Teddy_Salad]

29. Maybe his dentures were stuck up there

If so, seems a logical thing to have happened, no? :shrug:

[Padraig18]

10. Jesus, Joseph and Mary!

Now I have heard it all!
:puke:

[acmavm]

11. That's a mental picture that I never wanted to paint. (Too late now.)

.

[Raven]

13. The poor dear...er, deer.

:eyes:

[MrMonk]

14. I find this disturbing, yet strangely titillating.

On second thought, I just find it disturbing.

[Sean Reynolds]

16. Do you wanna try it LynneSin?

Tell us how it feels?

[LynneSin]

21. Not really

Seriously!

[Blue-Jay]

17. Hello, LADIES!

[leftofthedial]

18. and she didn't even have to use duct tape

wow

[Fleshdancer]

19. That can't smell good

this story raises questions I never thought I would ever ask. How? Why? and how can a woman not get something out of her vagina when she's cabable of sticking it there in the first place? We're designed to push 7 lb human beings out of our vagina and yet she couldn't get that out? Please tell me she's sterile. For the sake of humanity may she never produce offspring.

My stomach is actually turning as I write this. Why oh why did I read this story? Sometimes ignorance really is bliss after all.

[Blue-Jay]

20. I wasn't all that grossed out until

I read "that can't smell good". Now I'm ready to puke in my mouth.

bleh.

[Lisa]

22. I just hope the deer wasn't attached to it ....

You're right, LynneSin -- that WAS bizarre.

[daligirrl]

23. Mmmm . . . takes me back

to my first sexual awakening, when my father used to read "Bambi" to me. Dr. Freud, anyone?

[JVS]

25. Sick!

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

26. HOLY SHIT!!! I thought you were kidding!

That is - HANDS DOWN - the most fucked up thing I have ever heard of.

Matcom - you have been bested!

[latebloomer]

27. The sickest?

What about all the live gerbil-up-the-ass stories?

[Duncan Grant]

28. Yeah, that the sickest all right.

I got to tell ya, there's nothing like being a gay man at DU.

Just a barrel of laughs around here. Gerbils up the ass. Ha, ha. Funny.

(banging head against wall)

I'd appreciate a little feedback on this one friends...

[latebloomer]

32. I am sincerely sorry

to have offended you, 94114. I didn't realize that my comment would be perceived that way. Deer tongue or gerbil, it's all pretty close there in terms of disgust level-- I really did not mean to be offensive to gay men.

[SarahB]

30. That is bizarre! I never understand those stories either.

I've heard stories before of women getting things stuck "there". I mean, it's not that big of an area and it's a muscle. A little tug, flick, and a few Kegels would get anything out. It's not like some abandoned 30 feet deep well or something. :shrug:

[LynneSin]

31. Kick for the DU morning crowd

I just love this story

:kick:

[Mr. Blonde]

33. Am I the only guy who is jealous

of how many ways women find to get themselves off?
To quote the dude, "I still jerk off manually."