"Sell something unpopular" here

[m-jean03]

I go first:

"Hey folks, get a mullet! It's THE solution for the practical Romantic in all of you. Experience all the romance of feeling your hair blowing free in the wind, with none of the hassle of that hair in your face and field of vision!!"

So do I have any takers? :shrug: :D

Try yours here. . .

[Don_G]

1. Wanna Buy A Quarter?

[Beware the Beast Man]

2. Ann Coulter sex tape! Get you Ann Coulter sex tape here!!!!!

Buy now and I'll throw in this inflatable Limbaugh!!!!!


UGGH :scared:

[Fleshdancer]

5. now THAT is sick and twisted! n/t

[m-jean03]

8. I was not really going to go for it

Until you threw in Rush. That's just too good to pass up!! :D :puke:

[Beware the Beast Man]

10. Did I mention it's voice-activated?

Just say the words "right" "Republican" "GOP" "librul" "or "Clinton" into it's electronic ear, and it buzzes into action!

DISCLAIMER: May drool frequently from Oxy withdrawl.

[texas1928]

3. Get your deer tongue here.

Deer tongue it is fresh and sassy.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Rush Limbaugh anal polyp photos

See proof of why this great, troops-supporting American patriot couldn't serve in Vietnam. Show 'em to your liberal, Saddam-loving friends to get them to shut up. Large size available for wall mounting, suitable for framing.

[m-jean03]

7. LOL, excellent

:scared: Post that on freeperville. :hi:

[King Of Paperboys]

6. Can I interest you in a failed economic theory?

Here's how it works: Tax cuts for the rich mean MORE jobs and HIGHER revenues! It's genius! It's completely counterintuitive! It's NEVER worked yet, but we expect it to EVERY time we try it!

So... anybody buying that?

[oblivious]

9. Intestines...boiled or steamed. Would you like some maggots with that?

[MisterP]

50. tragically, that's called menudo

[jukes]

71. MisterP

or "chit'lins".

[Donkeyboy75]

11. "Get your Dick Cheney blow-up doll"

Get 'em why they're hot. These babies are going fast. Extra life-like smirking mouth for added pleasure! Complete with ticking inflatable pacemaker!

[m-jean03]

16. Maybe

If you'll let me give you a mullet. ;-)

[Donkeyboy75]

18. I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, so you have 16 hours to talk me into it.

It's getting long, man.

[EstimatedProphet]

12. War! Get your war here!

Only $300 billion for your own Middle Eastern war! Can't have an empire without your own war! Come on, war here!

[m-jean03]

13. Oh god

LOL, that's very good dark sarcasm, thanks for that :-)

[EstimatedProphet]

14. Thank you

I try...

[oblivious]

19. I'm interested, but it's a bit pricey. Any available on the cheap?

[EstimatedProphet]

38. Get away boy, you're bothering me

WAR! Get your war here!

[MikeG]

15. Dick Cheney's Secrets of Romance.

[Rowdyboy]

20. Lynn Cheney's "How I got Dick!"

[AlCzervik]

17. New from Ktel records

Hannity and Colmes sing love songs!

[Parrcrow]

21. Toby Kieth Tickets!! Who needs tickets to see Toby Kieth!!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

22. Left Behind action figures! Exclusive Left Behind action figures! (nt)

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. Reagan's colostomy bag. Original. In prime condition.

[LynneSin]

24. Deer Tongues, Deer Tongues - get your long hard deer tongues here

You'll have to search for my wicked post to figure that one out

:eyes:

[Fleshdancer]

25. well okay, but attach a string this time...the last one got stuck

****GROSS****

I swear that deer tongue story is quickly becoming a DU legend.

[LynneSin]

28. I had no idea that I could reach new limits of gross

I mean geez, I know when I have something as small as a damn tampon in me, how could anyone forget they put a deer tongue in there

:eyes:

[Fleshdancer]

30. I have been thinking about that damn woman all afternoon

I can't get the sick story out of my head! Do you think she forgot about it or just gave up trying to retrieve it? In your original post on this topic I questioned how it could have gotten stuck, but the only thing I can come up with is that it somehow got folded in half and "squished" up there???

I HATE unanswered questions so this is bugging me to no end (as you can probably tell!)

I'm still grossed out by the fact that it was gray. Damn that must have been one bad smell. I feel for her gynocologist...that Dr must have some very scary nightmares.

[LynneSin]

31. If I was her doctor, I would have sterlized her right there on the spot

I mean, do we want women who lose deer tongue in their vaginas to be able to reproduce

:shrug:

[Fleshdancer]

34. I'm with you on that! Deer tongue=instant sterilization

makes sense to me

[Fleshdancer]

26. All expense paid Abu Gahraib vacation package!

For a limited time only, get a hush hush White House approved torture spa treatment! Imagine spending your days naked with a bag over your head and wires attached to your genitalia! We'll also throw in the humiliation photo package which includes moronic women laughing and pointing at you while you stand there naked and oblivious.

disclaimer: All human "dog pile" poses subject to extra charge. Forced sodomy only available by appointment.

[m-jean03]

40. Very good

I think they've got a spot for ya at the Pentagon! :puke:

[NightTrain]

27. This little Colt .45 looks and feels just like a real gun.

Give it to your friend, and when he goes to light his cigarette.... Surprise! It *is* a real gun! Lotads of fun on your way to the hospital or morgue.

[m-jean03]

39. Good God, NightTrain

I'm ashamed I laughed at that one. :D

[Tom Kitten]

29. The Maggot Farm

Hey kids! Ever wonder where our friends the flies come from? Interested in breeding your very own stable of horseflies? Not sure which type of carrion or feces is best for breeding? The Maggot Farm takes care of all of this for you! Watch flies copulate, lay their eggs and ponder the significance of watching their offspring help rid the world of filth! Now with 4 new varieties! The Blowfly! The Deer Fly! The Black Fly! And our new Deluxe Edition, the Tse-Tse Fly!
Just send $9.99 for our free booklet telling you more!

[SarahB]

32. Got a cool computer in my basement to sell.

Pentium 1
28K modem
Windows 3.1 already installed

But there may be some cool mid-90's porn on the harddrive. Do I hear 2 bits?

[texas1928]

33. Get your tickets here

I am selling raffle tickets for a hot steamy night with George W. Bush, that sexy stud muffin of a president*. So step right up, just a dollar a ticket, and you could be doing freaky things with the prez.

[Fleshdancer]

35. better yet, make the date with Karl Rove

ewwww

[texas1928]

36. For a dollar extra you can get a threesome

with him and the President*, at a 10 dollar price we will even include Condi for the true swingers.

[name not needed]

37. matcom sex videos! 2 dollars!

:)

[LynneSin]

41. Used Toasters, Get your slightly used, damaged toasters here

:P

[Bertha Venation]

42. The Warmest New Garment This Winter: It's Cat-shmere!

For only $14.99 per gram of your own beloved cat's precious fur, you can get a warm, cozy winter garment in the style of your choice.

Just send us your cat's shedded hair, and we'll knit you a one-of-a-kind sweater (cardigan or pullover), shawl, muffler, pair of socks or pair of mittens.

Get out those brushes and slickers and give Kitty the grooming of his life. Collect all the fur from your couches, rugs, and clothing with our exclusive FurFinder Fur Collection Tool. And with our patented Clean-n-Card Technology, you can even include hairballs, loose strands from the water dish, even the contents of your vacuum bag -- we'll pull out the cat hair for you!

What are you waiting for? Winter will be here before you know it! Be the envy of all your friends: order your Cat-Shmere garment today!

[Bertha Venation]

46. Dammit.

I must need a new drug. I thought this was funny.

:shrug:

[m-jean03]

47. Bertha --

I got kicked off the computer and forgot to reply.

But I though this was super cute and funny!

...Only problem is, Cat-schmear sounds like something that would go on a bagel.
:evilgrin:

[Bertha Venation]

58. See, I couldn't think of another name! it's supposed to be like CASHMERE

Sigh. Thanks for the ego boost, though. Shameless begging usually works for me.

[m-jean03]

60. I'm so serious

It was very funny. I got the Cash-mere, Cat-shmere thing -- that is very cute. Can I get one, even if I don't have a cat? :shrug:

[Bertha Venation]

65. No, that's the whole point: The fur has to come from YOUR cat.

You see, we're marketing these in another promo as an alternative to taxidermy. Keep your beloved cat close to you after he's gone.

[m-jean03]

66. :-)

Okay, I need a cat.

Screw my mom's allergy, damn it. I'm a lesbian, and I need a cat. :D

[Bertha Venation]

67. That's the spirit! But:

DOGS are chick magnets . . . . ;)

[jukes]

72. Bertha Venation

i believe you can support your case w/cinematic allusion:


State & Main

"how are you getting along w/ these fine townspeople?"
Macy "Like dykes & dogs."



M.jean.03: research, and PRACTICE. you just can't waltz right in there. you gotta work for that toaster.

[Endangered Specie]

69. What is it with lesbians and cats?...

.
.
.
.
.
:think: Ohhhh... I think I get IT now :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[Guy_Montag]

43. Need I say any more than: Realdolls

www.realdoll.com

[m-jean03]

44. I think you need to say more!

You know, really talk me into it!! :hi:

[Guy_Montag]

45. Well,

The website says it all, & with your new found lesbianism you have such a wide choice of attractive ladies. Made to order - even a japanese schoolgirl if that's what takes you fancy. They never talk back to you, or get upset when you bring another one home for threesome

[m-jean03]

48. Woo Hoo!!

You forgot the part about how they are a necrophiliac's dream come true. :puke:

:scared:

[Endangered Specie]

49. Prepare for the future! - Get your German Reich Marks here...

get em now while inflation is good, 10-billion DRM for only $9.95US, offer wont last long! We have coins and bills of all denominations.

[sus]

51. a copy of my autobiography, "My Life as a Polka Queen"

[Endangered Specie]

52. Clearance on endangered species fur coats! going fast...

All major credit cards accepted.

[Neshanic]

53. Jan Crouch's line of "Wigs of Bible Collection"

[Hand]

54. Nice fresh mucus here! Buy it by the barrel!!!! eom

[Endangered Specie]

55. My Plaything: Laura Bush - Innocent? Not anymore - 2 hours uncensored DVD!

[m-jean03]

57. AHHHHHHHHH!!

I'm freaked out. :scared: You're too good at this. I think you might be serious. . .

[Endangered Specie]

59. Me serious?...

not in an M-Jean03 thread. ;)

[Endangered Specie]

56. Own your very own xclusive piece of the Brain of St. Ronald Reagan...

BUY NOW! Quantities are VERY LIMITED!!

[LynneSin]

61. I've got a sus for sale

She doesn't houseclean, she lets her laundry pile up and she owns her own deer tongue AND toaster.

She goes for cheap!

[sus]

68. that's true. i *am* cheap.

[Endangered Specie]

62. Folks! we just got these in... Jack Ryan S&M kits...

turn your loved one into a Borg Drone style Sex Slave! completes with tubes lubes chains whips, and dozens of other nifty gagets to assimilate your partner with!

[m-jean03]

63. I can't believe no one wants a mullet.

Damn it, I'll give them away FREE!!! :cry:

[Endangered Specie]

64. I know a way you could sell those mullets...

but, somehow, I dont think youd agree to it. :evilgrin: ;)

[CO Liberal]

70. Get Yer Used Phlegm Here.....

:-)

[sus]

73. used tampon Christmas tree decorations.

dirt cheap!

[Endangered Specie]

74. 100 thread kicks for ONLY! $19.99!!! Get em now

:kick:

[NightTrain]

75. Git yer Nitroglycerin-filled pinatas here!