"I'll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!"

[CanuckAmok]

Discuss.

[nose pin]

1. I was walking to town

with an onion tied to my belt, which was the fashion at the time....

[CanuckAmok]

3. "we didn't have white onions, because of the war. We had to use those...

...big yellow ones. Anyway, I was on my way to Shelbeyville, which was called Morganville at the time....

[Salviati]

13. And the ferry cost a nickel...

back then nickels had pictures of bees on them. 'Give me five bees for a quarter' we'd used to say...

[Proudlib]

4. Which In Thooooose Days....

:-)

[nose pin]

7. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[ForrestGump]

2. Who said that? Ashcroft, in response to Missourianese choosing a dead

dude over him?

[Nevernose]

5. Mmmm, beer.

[BlackVelvetElvis]

6. I'm cold and there are wolves after me!

I also wore a six-shooter in my garter, I did!

[CanuckAmok]

8. "Well, I did wear a dress for a period in the Forties...

...Oh, they had designers then!"

[Reverend_Smitty]

9. The metric system is the tool of the devil...

My car gets fourty rods to the hogs head and that's the way I likes it!

[CanuckAmok]

10. I can still eat corn on the cob if someone mashes it into a fine paste...

now that's good eatin'!

[Reverend_Smitty]

11. More grandpa

Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.

My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, pig, an idiot, a communist but he is not a porn star!

[CanuckAmok]

12. That's right...I did the Iggy!

[CanuckAmok]

14. "ZZZZZZZZZzzzz.....French toast please"

[Proudlib]

16. "The Trick..."

"...is to tell stories that don't go anywhere..."

[frylock]

15. anyway, about my washtub..

I’d just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... a walking bird. We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"...

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

17. My story begins in the year nineteen dickety-two.

We had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles.

[SeanOhio]

18. Bah!

Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions.

[philosophie_en_rose]

19. Okay, I'm an elk, a communist,...

the president of the gay and lesbian comittee for some reason, oh here it is. The Stone cutters.

:silly: