Half of U.S. hookers are space aliens

[EstimatedProphet]

This week's headline from the Weekly World News [br /I love this paper! It's so much like the Onion...I have a hard time believing they are selling it as a straight paper like National Enquirer. It is SO over the top.

[jeff30997]

1. It would make a good B movie:

Invasion of the hookers from outer space! I wonder what they do to their victims?

[MrScorpio]

2. 10 clues that your girl is a lap dancer

1. VAMPISH WALK. A once-awkward, wholesome, girl-next-door type who now swivels her hips in an exaggerated manner -- and has no trouble strutting about in six-inch heels -- fits the profile of a stripper.
2. COARSE LANGUAGE. If your lady starts cussing like a sailor, it's a good bet she picked up the bad habit from her low-class "colleagues" backstage.
3. FAVORS SEXY UNDERWEAR. A gal who used to complain about how "uncomfortable" she felt in thongs and suddenly has an undies drawer chock full of them may now be used to wearing a G-string hours at a time.
4. SLUTTY BODY LANGUAGE. When your mate has to pick up something from the ground, does she kneel like a lady -- or bend over, flaunting her wares?
5. SUDDENLY HAS MONEY FOR "LITTLE EXTRAS." She starts showing up with fancy earrings, designer shoes and other items you didn't pay for.
6. OVERLY FLIRTATIOUS WITH YOUR PALS. You may spot her perched on a buddy's lap at a cocktail party, making small talk. This could be a position she's grown very comfortable with.
7. ALWAYS HAS PLENTY OF DOLLAR BILLS ON HAND. Or when she gets change back at the supermarket, she may reflexively tuck it in the band of her underwear.
8. DANCES DIRTY. A gal who wiggles around in the laps of strange men for cash is likely to fall into raunchy, groin-to-butt moves on the dance floor.
9. WON'T TELL YOU WHERE SHE WORKS. Says she has a "great new part-time job working as a cocktail waitress," but won't tell you where she works.
10. ODDLY IMMODEST. In the past, she never even undressed in front of the dog, but now she waltzes by the window nude without a second thought.

[rustydog]

3. The other half are Coulter clones

[Parrcrow]

4. Naw, those are just junkies n/t

[MrScorpio]

5. Repugs do more than just red bait

http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/politics/61644

[DieboldMustDie]

6. They reported at least a year and a half ago...

the Saddam Hussein had submarines in the Great Lakes. Maybe Shrubby took their report seriously. :shrug:

[physioex]

7. Now is my chance to play Capt. Kirk........

I take a Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, and Violet.... :smoke:

I for that truly unforgettable night a Klingon..... :evilgrin:

[EstimatedProphet]

8. Don't you just love this paper?

It's a trip!