oh sweet mother of Jeebus, now the 'possums are coming in

[Dookus]

Poll question: oh sweet mother of Jeebus, now the 'possums are coming in

I've had an ongoing problem with raccoons coming in through my cat door. Now I just heard some rattling and rumbling out on my front (closed-in) porch and, thinking it was one of my cats, went out to see what she was doing.

There was an opossum who just crawled in a window. He made a very slow retreat. Sorta cute.

I swear, animals have a system of hobo markings they've used to identify my place as a "safe house".

What should I do?

[chicagojoe]

1. How 'bout "Possums are hideous, but DON'T beat them with shovels" ?

[Snoggera]

2. Possums are ugly fuckers, but

leave them alone. Chase them back down to the water if you can, otherwise, just scare the shit out of them. Having a family of possums nearby is not a good thing.

[Dookus]

3. actually

they're not really a problem. I've seen this guy before - I almost pet him once. I was walking up my driveway at night in the dark and saw the outline - thought it was a neighbor's cat. Bent down to pet him and was about an inch away when I noticed it wasn't a cat.

He (or she) is pretty cute and seems very easygoing.

[Webster Green]

4. Yeah, they're kinda cute actually....

We have a couple that come in the cat door and eat. they are getting more tame every day. We decided to just let 'em eat with us. I actually had one crawl into bed with me one nite.

[Dookus]

5. aww

how sweet! It's hard to imagine them causing any problems. The raccoons make a real mess, but a possum seems pretty harmless.

[Blue Gardener]

7. Can't they get rabies?

I agree they are cute, and I don't chase them away when snack on the critter food, but I don't want to get too close just in case.

[jukes]

10. rabies is extremely rare

in marsupials. racoons, squirrels, & bats are a much greater danger, but insignificant #s & usu easy to avoid.

[dbt]

6. If you don't do something, you will be up to your SCALP in possums!

The only effective method of getting rid of possums (except for bullets and/or shotgun shells) is to humiliate them.

Grab the possum by the tail and hoist the beast into the air at arm's length. Then, go off on it like Chris Rock on Cheney. Heap invective on the creature, using every epithet you can think of to convey its utter worthlessness. Give it a few good shakes to emphasize your main points. Pretend you are talking to bu$h.

When you are good and done, place the possum back on the ground (although some prefer tail-flinging) and demand that it get the hell off your property. It will then slink away in abject shame, never to return.

Of course, you may get BITTEN when you do this, but it works.

:evilgrin:
dbt
(Possum-free since '83)

[Dookus]

12. excellent advice

If he comes back in, make fun of his looks and parentage. thank you.

[zanana]

8. I am against possum humiliation.

Let me state very clearly that I do NOT--let me repeat, I do NOT advocate humiliating possums. I believe that this would demoralize the entire possum nation and can only result in fierce resentment and destabilization. Possums do not have infinite patience and have the ability to organize. Don't piss off the possums!

[jukes]

11. absolutely

except for their hairless tails & carrion eating ways, they bear no resemblance to real republicans.

&, unlike republicans, they DO take care of their babies.

[Rowdyboy]

9. Shovels! Beat them with shovels if

you're brave enough to come down off the table. I'd personally be too skeered.

[trof]

13. Possum haiku

A marsupial
With a built-in pocketbook
Teeth of possum? Floss 'em.

[realisticphish]

14. Down with possums!

as long as they stay away, fine. but they've almost killed our cats before, so its open war near the house

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Webster Green]

15. Damn, your cats must be pussies!

Heh, heh!}(

[realisticphish]

16. ah, but these are OHIO possums

the kind that get hit my humvees and split them in half, then walk away to sue the drivers; and YOU try cornering a possum, then shrink yourself to 10 pounds...

:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Dookus]

17. no kidding!

Possums are just big ugly, slow-moving mice. Any self-respecting cat would kick its ass.

[Feanorcurufinwe]

18. At least they're not bears.

I've had to chase the bear away about once a week this summer....

[arwalden]

19. They Are ROUS's (Rodents Of Unusual Size) From The Movie "Princess Bride"

Okay, they aren't really rodents, they are marsupials... but with all those razor sharp teeth, they must be made to feel unwelcome. I'd be more inclined to shoo them away with a broom and to clap together (loudly) a couple of hand-sized blocks of wood.

[VOX]

20. New World Series of Poker at Dookus' place: Raccoon vs. Possums!

Have 'em all in for an evening of cards 'n cigars! :)

Actually, not much you can do with possums -- a couple of days ago, I tried to shoo one away from my side yard. He just sat there insolently. I got a broom and gently nudged him with it, and he literally started "playing possum" -- just hunkered down and wasn't going to move. I left him alone and he waddled off.

Guess all the critters in your 'hood know you're a pushover. Kinda something to be proud of! :toast:

[LynneSin]

21. Geez, first box turtles and now Man-Possum love

when will the horrors ever end?

Don't you crazies know that children read this website!!!!

:crazy:

[Dookus]

22. hey!

I never said I wanted to fuck the possum! But a little head wouldn't be out of the question....