More feral cat help, please

[Flaxbee]

OK. About a year and a half ago, a sweet little female cat discovered the cat door in our garage, started coming in, eating the food I put out, etc. We then caught her (after three days of effort and much destruction in the garage -- amazing how hard a 7 lb. cat will fight to not be caught), had her fixed, set up a little bed (with heating pad!) in our garage for her and she's gradually come to trust me, greets me in the morning and evening, lets me hold her for about 2 seconds etc. I call her KittyGrrl, and she gives me sweet little head-butt kisses and purrs and is adorable.

We have three domesticated cats, pretty mellow, don't interact with her much.

We have sold our house in the mountains (where KittyGrrl was born and has lived her entire life) and for work reasons, are probably going to have live in an apt. or small cottage (hard to find rentals with cats) and may have to travel a lot, at the very least for the next six months and if work goes well, we might be overseas after that.

I don't know how to transition my KittyGrrl. One of our neighbors (about 1/8 mile away, has 5 acres and 15 cats) is very kind, loves cats, and has offered to care for KittyGrrl when we leave. Her cats have their shots, etc., but some of them look kind of ragged. THey all have Frontline in the summer for flea control, etc., but I guess caring for 15 cats that come and go (they are all indoor/outdoor cats) can't be easy, they don't all get a lot of individual care. And some cats do get individual care, it just depends on their neediness/personality. My KittyGrrl seems to like to be left alone most of the time. But anyway, our neighbor is a nice woman, takes them all to the vet, etc. etc. etc., and loves them dearly; her husband is a very good guy too and cares for all the cats.

Now, aside from all kinds of "I'm a horrible mother" feelings and guilt and sadness at not bringing KittyGrrl with me (haven't decided what to do yet), how the heck do I help her transition from our house to my neighbor's? The people who bought our house might agree to care for her, but they have three cats of their own and I just haven't asked them. Might be a weird thing to do.

I feel like, on the one hand, it would be better for KittyGrrl to stay in the area she knows, with someone who will love her (my neighbor) rather than struggle with having her cooped up in one room of our apartment while we try to "domesticate" her. On the other hand, I love her and will miss her terribly. I want to do what's best for her, not just easy for me, and I worry about her well-being and happiness.

So. What should I do? Try to bring her, or transition her to my neighbor's care? And if I do that, how the heck do I accomplish it over the next three weeks? If my neighbor takes her, I will continue to pay for food, vet, etc. for KittyGrrl's lifetime and will be close enough to visit.

I just feel like a sh*t for even thinking of not bringing her. But she's still half-feral and I don't know what to do.

Help, anyone?

[Dookus]

1. If the new owners

already have 3 cats, sounds like they like cats. I think the first thing would be to explain the situation to them and see if they'll continue caring for her. That would be easiest for KittyGrrl.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. Love the hamster!

:hi:

[iamjoy]

2. Don't Feel Too Bad

I normally feel very strongly about responsibility toward pets, but this is different...

She is half-feral and the care you have given her is more than she would have otherwise gotten. It would be unfair and traumatic to your other cats to bring this other one in. There is nothing wrong with asking the new residents of your home. Since they already have cats, they may be understanding if you just smile and say, "she kind of comes with the house." Then if it really seems to bother them, let them know you can make other arrangements."

Don't worry about how she'll do with your neighbor, the woman is good at heart.

Getting the cat over there will be a challenge, and KittyGrrl may still find her way back to your place, so definately warn the new owners.

[jukes]

3. Flaxbee

my absolute best advice is that this girl needs to be w/you. it won't be easy for either of you, but i really believe the best results will come by being w/ the friend she's come to trust.

one of the best things about ferals is that they are stone survivors & will adapt to new circ's. she'll almost certainly do ok @ the new neighbors, but her best chance for adaptation is w you. my concern is that now that she has established a bond, breaking it will renew distrust in humans & drive her feral again. w/that much turf & less personal attention, i believe she'll disappear w/in a month.

whatever your decision, you can PM me for details on transport to whichever new home you choose; a little lengthy to post

you're a good person for helping this child, I'm sure you'll make a rational decision as to what's best for her, & i'll help however i can.

take care, & don't fret.
jukes

[DenverDem]

4. I'm with jukes on this.

You have a relationship with her and should find a way to take her with you.

[Flaxbee]

5. I'm doing nothing but fretting...

..my sister, who is a vet, suggests having the new owners care for her if they love kitties, or transitioning her to my neighbor's house. But I have found that vets are often much less emotional and much more clinical than I ever can or will be. The rationale is that KittyGrrl will be miserable as an indoor kitty and/or bewildered out of her territory (b/c there is no guarantee I can find a house with some land; that's what we want, but I have only 3 weeks to find it and I would never let her go outside if we end up on an even remotely busy street -- right now we live in the woods) - I understand that - but I have bonded with this kitty and letting go would be so hard.

I don't know how to do this. My husband will do whatever makes me happy, but I know he'd think life was easier with KittyGrrl still here as opposed to stuck in a bathroom or room in whatever house/apt we rent.

I'm just so torn.

I'll PM you later, jukes, for info on how to transition a feral into an indoor cat... I don't want to freak my other cats out, either, if there's a good alternative for KittyGrrl. I just would miss her so much, and would worry about her care.

Aw, hell.