Road-rage deterrent

[GoddessOfGuinness]

I was on my way to a gig this weekend, and getting really frustrated, as the Blue Moon seemed to have invited all mentally-challenged drivers onto the freeway arena. I turned on the radio to listen to whatever lame pop might be available and catch the latest traffic reports.

Then this moron in front of me slowed almost to a stop for no apparent reason at all, no flashers, NO attempt to pull off the road to figure out what the hell he was doing before somebody got killed.

The ordeal was starting to get to me, so I began to sing, sweetly:
"You driiiiive like an effin' mooor-on" to the notes
Do__sol______ fa__ mi fa_mi_ fa mi do

I began to feel better, improvising on the melody here and there, belting out "fuckin'" instead of "effin'", and grinding my voice on the word "moron". I also noticed that this little ditty works harmonically with most of the pop tunes now playing on the radio, regardless of key or meter, simply by transposing to make "do" compatible with the tonic of the tune and altering the meter as needed.

So, whether you're annoyed with the way someone drives, or merely piqued by their boring music (You siiiiiiiing like an effin' chain saw), you can use this lick to help you cope and avoid road or radio rage.

What are your emergency de-stress secrets?

[redqueen]

1. I do that too!

Works well... I just sing about how much they annoy me (or whatever) in a really happy singsongy voice. I even feel better after!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

8. Music

really doth have charms...

[redqueen]

10. Too true

Then again, if it's sung to the tune of such toe tappers as "Let the bodies hit the floor", I don't think it would be as effective. :)

[achtung_circus]

2. I have a death ray button on the steering wheel

not attached to anything (yet) but it feels oh so good.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

4. I love it!

What's it made of?

[Ready4Change]

3. One joy of driving a convertible...

One joy of driving a convertible is that you can lob high explosives in any direction.

(Kidding)

But it does let me know that I'm having a more pleasurable driving experience that many of the miserable morons who are constantly screwing up around me.

(Not kidding)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

6. But isn't it a drag if

you get caught in a traffic jam? I hate breathing exhaust fumes...especially on a hot sticky day.

[JVS]

5. Do you think there would be less road-rage if people had a beer first?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

7. Depends on the beer

:evilgrin::beer:

[JVS]

9. Olde English 800?