What should I pack to get through US customs without a hassle?

[TrogL]

I need to fly through the US enroute to a destination in Eastern Canada (only flight I could get on short notice). I have two layovers in US airports. I don't want to get hung up in US Customs or security so I want to pack fairly light, but I need enough to get me through two days.

What should I pack/avoid?

I understand security gets suspicious if you don't carry enough luggage. I'm hoping to get everything into one duffel bag and a briefcase so I can avoid checked luggage.

The list so far:

• suit, tie, dress shoes, dress shirt, black socks, belt
  
• triple-blade razor, spare blade, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair brush, anti-perspirant
  
• meds (Zanax and Tyleonol III's), acne creme (it's acting up again)
  
• sheet music, libretto and pencils (I'm writing something)
  
• science fiction paperbacks
  
• socks, bikini underwear (it's all I can cope with)
  
• Speedos, plastic bag
  
• sweats
  
• casual shirts, t-shirts
  
• black jeans, belt
  
• white socks, runners
  
• driver's licence, SIN card, Mastercard, ESSO card, Alberta Health care card, blue cross, bank card, passbook
  
• US cash, Canadian cash
  
• duffel bag, briefcase
  
• cell phone (maybe)
  
• clock radio/alarm
  
• digital camera, batteries, case, adaptor
  
• family photographs
  
• glasses, watch, ring (maybe)
  

Is there any way I can get in trouble for shooting a picture? I like airplanes and airports.

[FloridaPat]

1. Just make sure you fly back through a big major airport - like NY.

Things run much smoother at an airport that has a lot of foreign travel. The little ones really put you through the wringer. Although I wouldn't call Minneapolis airport little. I flew out of Minneapolis to England once. The return through customs was horrible. It took me 2 hours to get off the plane to go through customs and I was in the 2nd group to get off.

[Pond Scum]

2. Make sure you...

...pack a pair of handcuffs. Some Ben Wa balls. A few whips and a mask or two.

Oh, and don't forget your ball-gag. Can't do without that thing.

Also, might do good with some crotchless panties. Thongs are always good.

Edible crotchless panties are.......... <drool>

[LTR]

3. If you smuggle drugs back to the US

Be sure you package it into tiny, individual bags. This will be much less suspicious.


















I'm kidding. :)