Parenting question

[AlCzervik]

OK, my daughter is having her friend over today, she(friend) did something to a thing that belongs to my daughter, it's not ruined but it was still wrong and i know that she(friend) is the culprit. I haven't called her out on it yet, i don't know if i should or not. Any advice would be appreciated.

[seaglass]

1. Are you saying it was intentional? Does your daughter

know, what did she say?

[ohiosmith]

2. Ask the friend if she has any idea how the article was damaged.

[AlCzervik]

5. she said "No, wow thats strange."

My inner bullshit detector went off right away.

[TrustingDog]

3. more deets please... what was this thing and is your daughter upset as you

?
there are a tonno ways to deal with these things... my first gut reaction is take it, that as she is a friend, it was a mistake/accident. need more info.

[AlCzervik]

4. Ok, it's going to sound stupid, weird actually

The friend is in my downstairsbathroom where i had put my daughter's bathing suit, friend comes out, daughter goes in and immediately says..."Mom, there is toothpaste all over my bathing suit." I was in there right before her friend was putting that bathing suit in there for my daughter.

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

6. Sounds like a harmless prank to me.

Odds are your daughter knows who did it, if her friend hasn't confessed already. I'd just let it be.

[sui generis]

7. much ado about nothing

let them work it out. if you make more of it than it should be then you're teaching your kid to care too much about relatively unimportant things.

Also, it's important for her and her friend to figure out the rules on their own in this case; it will help them learn to communicate better.

[TrustingDog]

9. that would be my advice as well...

let the two sort it out. It's an important lesson for both.
But I do realise that the protection of child thing is so strong sometime.... Save it for something more important, is my advice.

[nini]

10. I agree..

let them deal with it.

[lynx rufus]

8. Forget about it for now

Ask your daughter why her friend toothpasted
her bathing suit after her friend has gone.

[cally]

11. How old are they?

I don't think you should confront the friend but talking to your daughter about this is a good idea. Help her figure out how to deal with this as well as determining if this girl is her friend.

[AlCzervik]

12. they'll both be 10 next month.

I dont care about the bathing suit. What bothered me besides the obvious was that i thought that maybe she's lashing out at my daughter for something or maybe they're not as good friends as i think they are. The whole episode just stikes me as odd. I am planning on talking to my daughter later on tonight about it.

[Nevernose]

13. My daughter's about the same age

I'd just wash it, and keep an eye on that kid. You can and should control who your daughter is friends with. Talking with your daughter is always a good idea.

Then again, I'm just a schmuck on the Internet -- what would I know?

[AlCzervik]

14. yeah, i have decided i won't say anything to her

she's a really nice kid that has a shitty living situation and i think at our house she can have a good time and not have to worry about anyone criticizing her. I will keep an eye out and i hope it was just a prank cooked up between the 2 of them.

[cally]

15. This is not the same

but a friend stole money from my daughter when she was about 7. At the time, I called the mother and she found the money in her bag that she had brought over. I did what I could to not encourage the friendship. Eventually, they were no longer friends. Years later this same girl trashed my daughter and helped to end her friendships with other friends. Sometimes what kids do indicate what they will do later. Looking back, I think I shouldn't have let the theft go like I did.

[AlCzervik]

16. Really the hardest job

i've ever had. Part of me wants to sit her down(friend) and ask her whats bothering her and whats going on with my daughter or at home thats causing her to act out like this but another part of me is hoping it's just nothing. I'll wait and see for now. The thing is that if my daughter is being a shit to her i would put a stop to right away. When this girl had a problem with another girl at school my daughter defended her with all hr might and the only way i found out that she did that was when her teacher called me at home to tell me what a good friend she is.

[cally]

17. Yes

You need to know if your daughter is wrong and act to stop it. I know about this being the hardest job. I'm confident at work but I never know if I'm doing the right thing with my kids. It's easier now that they are older. I have to let go but when they were younger, I constantly questioned myself. Good luck.