more parent advice.... weed

[TrustingDog]

My girl is almost 19. she smokes a bit of weed onct a while (and does some mushes). I guess you can call me a 60's hippy kinda person, but not really, I wasn't into the drug scene - just happened to be there in that time but didn't go with the flow.

so... I ask you wise ones... I know she smokes weed and I don't admonish her for it..... I don't really condone it, nor totally accept it.... (onct a while we share a joint, maybe 2 times a year or so).

It's quite difficult to know whether you are doing right... taking into account the many different personalities of kids.... do what you do and feel free to tell me, or do what you do and don't dare tell your parents....

I've always trusted her with the Big Things.... she's quite wiser than I was at that age.

anyway, please discuss.

[Worst Username Ever]

1. Personally I think the stuff should be legal

but in a 21+ sort of way. Everyone I know who is my age (20-something) who did the stuff with any sort of regularity at age 19 is a total burnout now.

[htuttle]

2. Be happy about it

Given the vast range of things that young people can do, smoking pot is one of the more benign things.

I've been trying to get one of my grown sons to stop drinking for many years (started when he was young). I'd be delighted if he gave it up and became a pothead like his pa.

I have never been comfortable sharing a joint with my sons, though, even after they'd grown, but that's just me trying to maintain my all-powerful-father aura, I guess...

[sangh0]

3. IMO, you should have a serious discussion

where you honestly discuss what you think the benefits and dangers of using various drugs. I don't think kids should jumped on for using any substance, nor do I think they should be encouraged. IMO, they should be treated with respect, which involves making sure they have accurate info on which to base THEIR opinions on.

[jedicord]

4. That's a tough one.

I'm kinda torn with it. On one hand, I feel that using marijuana is no worse, in fact is better, than drinking alcohol. And my stance with drinking and my kid is that I would rather he (when he gets old enough) drink with me at first so that he can learn to practice self control (not too much buddy!). I know he'll drink, better to set an example.

On the other hand, marijuana use is illegal, so in effect you are condoning your child breaking the law. This is one of the main reasons I think it should be legalized. In my experience, I broke the law for mj, so it became easier to accept breaking the law for stronger stuff. I almost got into trouble with that, thankfully was able to pull myself up and out.

[DrWeird]

5. I say smoke some with her.

It's good bonding.

[TrustingDog]

11. I am thinking so, but not sure....

at least I Think I know what she's doing... and she knows I'm not gonna freak out but give ground advice. hey, I only freak out at the little things, not the Big things.

and yeah, about the booze thing.... I'd rather her smoke a bit than become alchoholized... by far....

[matcom]

6. tell her, as long as she stays home and doesn't drive

she is free to use in your home

[democracyindanger]

8. ...or end up watching Adult Swim every night

I'm talking both the 11:00 and 3 am rebroadcast. That's the true sign of a problem... :P

[slutticus]

14. Number one in the hood, G

[TrustingDog]

12. she knows that.

more so than I did at her age....
I was pretty stupid is way bigger ways than she is in that respect.

[Taverner]

7. Weed is safer than alchohol

So I would be thankful :)

[CrownPrinceBandar]

9. A few points...........................

First, she's your child. No one here knows her better than you. If you feel she is using weed responsibly, then so be it.

Second, have her do some research on NORML's website as to the penalties of possession, trafficking and the like. Many folks feel that pot is pretty benign, however it is still illegal and some states have a horribly draconian drug enforcement policy. I guess my point is that, now she is of legal(adult)age, make sure she realizes the legal ramifications of using and possessing.

Just my $0.02.

[TrustingDog]

13. Canada here. thank gawd. n/t

[CrownPrinceBandar]

17. You lucky duck.....................

I'm glad Canada has a sensible drug policy, it gives me hope that someday the US could learn something from our neighbors to the north. Our priorities are all fucked up down here.

:hi:

[arcos]

10. I can give you kid advice...

Your daughter is very lucky, as am I. I'm 23, I smoke weed too and my mother knows about it. She doesn't like it much, but she accepts it and respects my choice.

It is much better this way... if you had a different reaction she will probably won't stop doing it anyway, so it is better to have her trust.

I know it has been a little hard on my mom, as it probably has been to you. But you both took the right choices, and I know your daughter is as grateful with you, as I am with my mom.

[TrustingDog]

15. thanks.... makes me believe I'm on the right track....

I feel this is the way to go and I'll stick with it. I would rather have my kid dialogue with me than be secretive.

[arcos]

23. no problem...

You are a great and understanding mother, your daughter is very, very lucky. Best wishes to both of you! :hi:

[luaneryder]

16. From a 60's child

I knew my teenage son smoked and we talked about it at length. Because of my attitude towards it and my earlier use (and I turned out to be a fine, upstanding citizen) I felt it hypocritical to speak of evil weed. Forbidding him to use it would have been a challenge to him to do so at any and every opportunity. So, I urged him to use it conservatively with wisdom and discretion. I told him, truthfully, that I felt the real drawbacks were its illegality and its tendency to get you so chilled that you aren't particularly productive. Until his death at 22 he had never been drunk on alcohol, into any type of trouble and always saw to his responsiblities. It sounds as if your daughter is wise about it and is probably aware of her limits. Without harping (I was always afraid I was harping!) maybe you can bring up the legal aspects from time to time. Like how getting busted follows you around for a long damn time. I think your daughter has a great dad!

[TrustingDog]

18. I'm a mom....

so sorry to hear of your son gone... Nothing on this earth can be as painfull as burying a child....

[luaneryder]

20. Oops, my bad

:) What a great mom she has!!

[TrustingDog]

21. hahahah! I don't consider myself so....

fair to middling is all I can do. I don't do pie baking so well and all that rot. We fight like cats and dogs and hug like maniacs in between. heh.

the bottom line: I like that person, I trust her strength.

[Plaid Adder]

19. IMHO, sharing a joint with her pretty much counts as accepting it

Which, if you want to do that that's fine, but if I were your kid, and you shared a joint with me, I'd assume you were A-OK with my smoking.

As for how bad pot is for people, I'm really not in a good position to offer an opinion, never having done drugs or alcohol myself. I have one good friend who got very dependent on it, and it messed him up; but he has overall had a lot more trouble with alcohol than with pot, so who knows.

Good luck,

The Plaid Adder

[TrustingDog]

22. I did not introduce her to it....

it was the friend circle. And I refused to take the normal abnormal stance against it.

[jpgray]

24. I dunno

You can share a drug with your kids (my parents shared wine and beer with me when I was little, for example) and still not endorse certain types of behavior involving that drug. If the daughter were constantly getting high and the parent only shared a joint one every six months, I still think the parent has plenty of authority to admonish and punish irresponsible use.