I'd like to solicit your best snappy comebacks.

[VolcanoJen]

So, whenever I walk into work these days (bar/restaurant), assorted "regulars" have taken to shouting, "Hey, JenJen! GO BUSH!!"

Since eye-rolling and "Oh, fuck right off, please" have failed to stop their oh-so-clever barrage, I'm wondering what the rest of you would say, in a similar situation.

And yes, I can tell my regulars to fuck off without consequence. I love my job.

Help,
JenJen :D

[Dookus]

1. "Shove it " works...

and "Go Cheney yourselves"

or, as we'd do in NY, just say "I got yer Bush right here" while grabbing your crotch. :)

[ronnykmarshall]

48. You nailed it!

[DoveTurnedHawk]

49. I Think "You Nailed It" Opens Up a Whole New Line of Inquiry

:D

:hi: Ronny!

DTH

[SoDesuKa]

2. Go Bush

When they say Go Bush, you say He's Going, All Right. Right out the door. And go-o-o-o-od riddance.

[JohnnyRingo]

8. I like that...

...Or right back to Crawford

[nickgutierrez]

20. He spends half the time there, anyway n/t

[rhino47]

3. I told my conservative bro in law the other day

A conservative is like a man with two perfectly good legs that never learned to walk forward.I thought his head was going to explode.
(FRD quote by the way)
I also like .. Bush and Dick are good in bed but bad in white house.

[nickgutierrez]

4. Start a chant

Three more months! Three more months!

[Paragon]

5. "Well, kiss my grits!"

/flo

[RodneyCK2]

15. HAHAHAHA.....

Did Mel only own one T-shirt?

[TaleWgnDg]

6. uummmmmmmmmmmmmm, how about . . .

"Well, terrific, why not just go 'Cheney' yourself?"

[JohnnyRingo]

7. "There's an orange alert"...

..."Aren't you supposed to be somewhere wrapping your head with duct tape ?"

[VolcanoJen]

9. Excellent responses!!!

So far, Dookus is winning. I'm digging the "New York Style" response the best, so far. :D

When they occassionaly start the "Four More Years!" crap, I respond with "Four More Wars! Wooooohoooooo! Kevlar up, buddy! Send your sons!" which tends to work, until the next day. Republicans, like elephants, are short in the memory department. No harm was caused to elephants in the previous statement.

What is with these asshats? I want so badly to debate them, to ask them what they like best... the war? the deficit? the lies? the dead bodies? the weeping mothers? But as we know, logic just doesn't cut it with these people... they're mostly interested in bullying.

[Dookus]

16. LOL...

You are SUCH a lady :P

[VolcanoJen]

17. Yes, I am, you slutty little sandpiper.

;)

[DieboldMustDie]

10. Four more years...

in hell!

[The_Casual_Observer]

11. Hey evil doers, I hate you for your freedoms!

[VolcanoJen]

12. Oh, that's a good one!

Nice, T_C_O!!

[Paragon]

13. "Why do the facts hate America?"

/stewart

[VolcanoJen]

18. Now, see, that would just confuse them.

I'm diggin' "Kiss my grits," though.

[Paragon]

19. Nice job.

I tried, but couldn't find a useable Flo pic on Google.

[VolcanoJen]

22. Well, I'm obviously a superior Googler.

Did you know that Flo had her own spin-off show? I learned that, through my creative googling...

[Paragon]

23. Yeah, I came across that, too.

Yet another piece of useless information for my brain.

[VolcanoJen]

25. Off-topic trivia question for all...

... in the photo of the "Flo" spin-off show, who is the broad on the right?

I seem to remember her from other assorted 70's shows... or maybe it was just Match Game.

Anyone?

[Paragon]

28. I always think "Sandy Duncan" when I see her...

...but I know that's not right.

[Dookus]

31. Looks like Georgia Engel

from the Mary Tyler Moore show and a bunch of game shows.

[VolcanoJen]

34. You are precisely correct, my adorable little trollop.

Nice work. :D

[VolcanoJen]

32. I Heart IMDB.com!

Joyce Bulifant... and, my suspicions are confirmed, she was a regular on "Match Game."

According to IMDB, she was supposed to be the original Carol Brady, before that ladder-climbing bitch Florence Henderson snagged the role. :D

[Dookus]

36. oh, it's Joyce Bulifant, not Georgia Engel?

Yeah, I guess it is. But at least I got the show! :)

[VolcanoJen]

37. Close enough, I guess. Her character on MTM was...

... Marie Slaughter, and I still can't place her... wait, wasn't she Gavin Macleod's (Murray's) wife?

[Dookus]

38. yes, that was her

I was thinking of Georgette, Ted Baxter's wife.

[Paragon]

14. "Eat me raw."

[TaleWgnDg]

21. am wondering . . . is that

an ad for Poligrip (dental adhesive cream)? oh.


==================================================
"The reality is that the chicken hawks in this
administration are doing a lousy job of bolstering our
nation’s defense and supporting the troops." -- U.S.
Senator Frank Lautenberg (Dem., NJ), a WW2 veteran,
on the Senate floor, April 23, 2004.
==================================================

[uhhuh]

44. Oh, oh, oh....CAPTION!!

1) Hey Karl, my harmonica ain't workin'.


or


2) If I can just keep this here till November, I just might win this thing.


Threadjack, released. Carry on.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

24. GO Bush!

and take Cheney with you!

[demconfive]

26. Go Bush?

Go Bush? I got bush! I don't need another pussy trying to run my life, this one' s doing just fine.(grab crotch).

[democracyindanger]

27. "No thanks, I don't need another

incompetent drunk in my life. You idiots are enough."

or

"You guys know the more you say it doesn't make it more likely to happen, right? Look at all the times you've said, 'Tonight I'm gonna get laid,' and yet here you are."

or

"You've convinced me. So in anticipation of another four years of a Bush economy, all drink prices are doubled."

or

"The one good thing if Bush wins is that we'll be able to spend more time together. Me, working; you, looking through the want ads while eating free peanuts for dinner."

[VolcanoJen]

29. Ding Ding Ding!! We have a Winner!!!!

Oh sweet Christ, democracyindanger! I just came dangerously close to spitting out my beer while reading those! Perfect... and I'm employing your tactics tomorrow. At least something in this country will be employed!!! (ba-dum dum!)

You simply MUST have been a bartender in a previous life. If not, you should be... hell, come to Cincinnati, and I'll hire you on wit alone.

[democracyindanger]

33. Well, my dad used to own a bar...

...but I think it's more just my natural sarcastic mean-spiritedness. :)

Remember to post the reactions...

[VolcanoJen]

35. Well, hopefully you're gainfully employed in a rewarding career...

... because if not, you missed your true calling to bartending. You'd rock so f'in hard at it. :-)

Of course I'll post the reactions... if you'll share the reason you sport a Santa avatar with me...

[democracyindanger]

39. 'Cuz

everyday is Xmas at DU!

Actually, I was bored. And indecisive. Ergo...Santa.

So post what happens, and we'll keep passing the ammunition. :)

[TaleWgnDg]

30. how about . . .

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!"


==============================================
"In the battle of Iraq, the United States and
our allies have prevailed," said GWBush as
he arrived aboard the aircraft carrier U.S.S.
Lincoln in fighter pilot jump suit, May 1, 2003,
as a banner read: "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED"
==============================================

[VolcanoJen]

40. Thank you, thank you, thank you, everyone who responded!!!

They're all brilliant, and I feel locked-and-loaded.

As our wonderful Magistrate would say, I'm gonna go get those Bush Bastards. :-)

Thanks, DUers... you're the bestest. :grouphug:

[Wonk]

41. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

[VolcanoJen]

42. OH, those are quite perfect, Wonk!!

I thanked everyone already, but PLEASE keep 'em comin'.

One can never acquire enough snappy comebacks when it comes to drunken Bush-loving Kool-Aid (Long Island style) drinkers!!!!

[DoveTurnedHawk]

43. Well If You Like Dookus' NY Comeback

"Already gone, shaved it off last night."

:evilgrin:

You can then follow it up with an optional, "Then I sent it down the drain, just like W's done to this country."

DTH

[no_hypocrisy]

45. Ronnie Gilbert (of the folk group, The Weavers), was singing in a club

in the 50's. A drunk came up and challenged her due to the publicity about The Weavers (improperly) being termed "Communists". He shouted, "Let's all sing The Star Spangled Banner!"

She replied, "Good idea. Let's sing it when you're sober."

[HarveyBriggs]

46. Hey Jen, Here's a few.

Don't you have some weapons of mass destruction to look for?

I hear the Marines are looking for a few good men, what are you doing here?

Why aren't you in Fallujah?

I know you support Bush, you use fuzzy math every time you short me on the tip.

Let's find some middle ground. You screwed up when you put Barney Fife in office. Let me screw up and support a guy who gave Barney more than one bullet.

If you were any scarier, Tom Ridge would announce another orange alert.

I support Bush, too, every time I pay taxes on the tips you fail to leave behind.

As soon as one of your loudmouth customers walks in and mouths off, immediately give him/her the check. When he/she complains, reply, "Yeah, well, 'Mission Accomplished.'"

Before you get too scared and call Homeland Security, the white powder in the blue packets is sweetner, doll.

I can't understand any man who would support a fellow who traded Sammy Sosa.

Hey, sweetie, you know what Dick Cheney says at times like this?

Did you know the President's favorite country band is "Asleep at the Wheel." What a coincidence, huh?

Next time your order is wrong, can I blame it on Bill Clinton, too?

Harvey Briggs

[truthspeaker]

47. Hand them Army enlistment papers

[JVS]

50. Eat my shit!