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BREAKING: Kerry keeper of "Black Orb" 

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shockingelk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 02:31 AM
Original message
BREAKING: Kerry keeper of "Black Orb" 
Sources with intimate knowledge reveal that Senator John Kerry is the Keeper of the Black Orb, an alien homing device which will lead "insectoid" extraterrestrials to Earth, enabling them to enslave the human race for the purposes of mining gold and extracting from sea water the exotic elements needed to power the alien's "cold electricity" powered warp drives.

All is lost! How was this guy nominated?
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 02:33 AM
Response to Original message
1. I fucking knew it.
Edited on Sat Aug-07-04 02:38 AM by CanuckAmok
...and I just yesterday sank my life savings into sea-water futures.
Dammit all to hell.
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 02:36 AM
Response to Original message
2. Damned flip-flopper!
He promised us that he WOULDN'T lead the insectoid extraterrestrials to Earth, and now we find out he has.

Thank God the Swiftboat Vets for Truth are airing those commericals!
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shockingelk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 02:45 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. That was his plan all along!
He had ambitions to lead the comministic-socialist aliens to Earth from the start. You cannot trust John Kerry.
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 02:50 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. It was a Holo-Kerry in 'Nam...
...the real JK was on Rigel 7, brokering the deal with the insectoids. Hitlery was there, too, and her lesbian lover, Madeline Albright.
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Nevernose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 02:55 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. That's just ridiculous
Everyone knows that Janet Reno is Hillary's lesbian lover. Madeleine Albrigt IS one of the aliens, and also a robot. And a communist.

Sheesh, Canuck, where do you get this bogus information from?
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 04:20 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. Newscorp. Where else would I get news?!
Welcome to 1968, population: you.
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Salviati Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-07-04 03:14 AM
Response to Original message
6. I for one welcome our new insect overlords...
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