Today is the one-year anniversary of my robbery; still no suspect

[liberalhistorian]

Some of you may remember my posts last August about my robbery experience. I can hardly believe that it's been one year already. I can still feel the overwhelming, all-consuming fear, panic, disbelief, horror, anger, and then emotional exhaustion. I don't think I will ever totally get over that. How do you get over the feeling of having a gun shoved in your ribs, then your neck, and being told you're a liar because you don't have any more money than the few dollars in your wallet?

I can still feel the coldness of the gun barrel and it being jammed in my ribs every time he demanded more money and every time I kept insisting I didn't have anything more. My son's face kept showing in my mind and how horrible it would be for him if the thug pulled the trigger on me. The shock of realizing that all he had to do to end my life was to take a second and pull a trigger, and that my life was totally in this stranger's hands, was unbelievable. And I can still feel as if it were yesterday the sense of surrealness and total disbelief that it was actually happening.

And then the dealing with my bank, which claimed it never got my call immediately afterwards to block my ATM card (he demanded the card when he finally realized I didn't have any more cash than the four bucks in my wallet, then he got the number by jamming the gun in my neck and claiming he'd fire it if I didn't give him the number-at that time, I thought he was going to get in the car with me and make me drive to the ATM, so that's how he got my PIN), and he managed to get seven hundred bucks out in three separate transactions within three minutes almost FIVE HOURS after I made the call to block the card. THEN the fucking bank made me jump through all kinds of hoops and wait almost a month just to get my own fucking money back that they should never have allowed to be taken in the first place, I even had to take off work to deal with all the paperwork and investigations, etc. Not to mention they acted as if I'd somehow stolen the money myself, claiming I'd never actually called them. The policeman sitting across from me when I made the call, as well as the police phone logs, backed me up, however (don't you just love corporate America in action-GAG!).

Then they at first refused to issue me a new card claiming fraud on my record; my local branch's manager had to get on the horn with corporate and explain that, no, I didn't steal my own money and that it wasn't fraud, it was a fucking ROBBERY!!!!

And I've been amazed and disturbed at the blatant racism so many whites displayed and still display when we talk about it, because the kid who robbed me (and he seemed like he was only about 18 or 19) was black. Comments like, "well, now you know what they're REALLY like", and "why should you be surprised, that's how they REALLY are", and "bet you feel different about them now", etc., etc., etc., PUKEBALLS!

I admit, for the first couple of months afterwards, to my everlasting shame and disgust, I was afraid of every single black man I saw, no matter what their age or what they looked like. But I got over it and recognized it was just emotions and how ridiculous that was. You never hear these same people say that about all whites when one commits a crime, now, do you? Just amazing.

And there's still no suspect in sight and the police aren't the least bit interested in even working on it. They have his picture from the ATM withdrawal, but they just don't seem to give a shit. I think that's what really bothers me, that he's still out there somewhere and has gotten away with it. I guess it's not important to the police since he didn't hurt me physically.

But you know what? Here's the really important thing. I'm alive and in one piece. My son still has a mother, my parents still have a daughter. And that's all that really matters in the end. It could have been a helluva lot worse than it was and I'm forever grateful that the worst didn't happen. Grateful to be alive to really appreciate life. And I think of the tremendous fear and panic I experienced and I realize that far too many of our fellow Americans live everyday in neighborhoods and situations with that kind of fear, and I'm very grateful to be in the position I'm in because I can't imagine having to deal with that every day.

Of course, that means I'm still here to bug you all here at DU, but you guys can't have everything, now, can you, lol! And thanks so much again to those of you who gave me such incredible emotional support at the time, it meant so much.

[havocmom]

1. Sorry the thug is still on the loose.

I never heard anything about any arrest of the guys who robbed me back in 75. Not enough resources for law enforcement, too many bad guys.

:shrug: for some, crime seems to pay OK. Frustrating as hell.

Take it easy this evening and know your DU buds are here for you.

Peace & strength,
hm

[Dookus]

2. wow

I can't believe it's been a year. I certainly remember that.

Sorry they haven't found him, and glad you're still here.

[liberalhistorian]

5. Thanks, Dookus, and I'm

glad I'm still here, too! If only to read your brilliant, witty, thoughtful, incisive contributions to this board! :evilgrin: :bounce:

[theivoryqueen]

3. sympathetic hugs!

You had a horrible experience. I am glad you are alive. I was mugged myself, a while back. No gun, just a cattleprod. I got over it pretty quickly, I think. Though it soured me on certain elements of society for a while. It is always better if the criminal is caught and prosecuted. Do you stay in contact with the investigator assigned to your case?

[liberalhistorian]

6. A cattleprod? Yikes, that wouldn't

be too much fun at all! Any weapon is frightening when it's aimed at you, frankly.

I try to stay somewhat in touch with the policeman assigned to the case, but he never has anything to say. I don't really think they're doing anything at all.

[theivoryqueen]

15. sorry it took me so long - looking at the Convention pix

amazing thing about cattleprods is that they really DO stun you (especially when applied repeatedly). The pervs were caught because they left the cattleprod hanging out of the truck they stole, so it were pretty obvious. sometimes it helps if you talk to your city council person, as well as correspond, via letter with the public relations or community response captain in your precinct. There is usually at least one officer charged with handling complaints and concerns from the community, and a letter to that person, copied to your city council person and the officer assigned to investigate your case can help A LOT. I hope they catch the asshole.

[asthmaticeog]

10. A cattleprod?

That's seriously messed up. My sincerest sympathy.

[olddem43]

4. He'll keep doing it until he gets caught. -

Maybe then they will charge him with robbing you also.

[liberalhistorian]

7. IF he ever gets caught, that is.

Unfortunately, not every criminal is caught and not every crime is solved. Far too much of the time, it just doesn't happen.

[girl gone mad]

8. How terrible...

that the bank re-victimized you like that. Can you tell us which bank? I don't want to be giving them my business.

I've been through trauma, and though it's true that time heals all wounds, there are still things that can trigger those feelings of fear even a decade later. Always listen to your instincts. I fought to keep from being grabbed and I screamed when my attacker told me not to make a sound. Imagining how much worse it could have been is probably unproductive. I haven't lost my faith in strangers, but I trust my inner voice most of all (and I keep pepper spray handy).

[liberalhistorian]

12. It's National City Bank.

And you are correct about trusting your inner voice, I've gotten a lot more sensitive to that.

[asthmaticeog]

9. I feel ya. It happened to me last May.

I was leaving a concert and was acosted by a guy who stuck a pistol in my sternum and hustled me into an alley. He was unsatisfied with the amount of cash I had on me (funny, so was I...) but instead of taking my card and getting the PIN out of me, the guy had the friggin' temerity to march me up the street at gunpoint to the nearest ATM and demand that I make a withdrawl. (It's my opinion that if they ever get the guy, I should press kidnapping charges for that. It's also my opinion that after 15 months, they're not gonna get him.) He never specified an amount, though, so I just took out $100 and hoped he'd go away, which, thankfully, he did. He kept his distance from the ATM, so they never got his picture, and my description wasn't too helpful. (African-American male, facial hair, denim jacket, black doo-rag -- that describes like 1/4 of Cleveland. I have a half-dozen friends who look like that.)

I'm still freaked out. If there aren't any parking spaces in the lot adjacent to that concert venue, I won't park in the street anymore - I'll skip the concert and come right home. I was a basket case for a few months, totally skittish every time I set foot out my door.

I'm glad to hear that you're OK, though. Sorry to hear about the nastiness of trying to get your money back.

[liberalhistorian]

11. Wow, what a terrible experience

for you (and I hear ya about sharing the robber's unhappiness at the amount of cash on you!), especially being forced to the ATM. And I know exactly what you mean about being afraid and skittish for a few months afterwards, that's exactly how I was and still am in some circumstances. I couldn't go anywhere at all alone for a couple of months afterwards, and even now I'm nervous around strangers, especially if it looks like one's approaching me. Although I'm not nearly as bad as I was.

And you're in Cleveland? Well, guess what-I'm in Painesville, about 20 miles east of you! There are many, many parts of Cleveland I don't want to go into even in broad daylight. Of course, that goes for Painesville as well, though.

[asthmaticeog]

13. Yeah, Painesville's very odd.

So much affluence there, and big dollops of poverty and crime along with it. My best friend lives in Painesville - his wife grew up there. In Cleveland at least the parts of town you should avoid are easy enough to avoid. In Painesville I've noticed that there are like these invisible lines, and plus the rougher areas don't even necessarily look all that rough to my eyes.

Glad you're getting over the post-mugging nerves - I mostly have too, though I still have moments where I just totally get the willies.

Last but not least, hi neighbor! :hi:

[liberalhistorian]

14. That's very true about Painesville,

although living here for thirty years I'm very familiar with every part of it. And the strange thing is that some of the neighborhoods that may look rough on the outside really aren't that way at all. It's just that the people often don't have any money to fix up/maintain their houses and the landlords can't be bothered to maintain their apartments.