In 1954, John Kerry received

[salinen]

a citation from the boy scouts for bravery while helping little old ladies cross streets.

But the facts are not always what they appear. Tonight we have a group calling itself "Scouts for Scaife" who have a different story to tell.

Later, we have guests who we will pose the question "who has better family values", Kerry or Bush? Joining us will be B-1 Bob Dornan, Chistopher Hitchens, Jerry Falwell, and Frank Luntz, get ready for this edition of "Hardball"

[Fenris]

1. You should write for Matthews.

Or possibly Hitchens.

[salinen]

2. Having testicles

would automatically disqualify me.