Message to a young liberal-in-training (edited for advice request)

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

I'm babysitting my 8 year old niece for the week. Her school will hold a straw poll the first week of classes (next week!) and continue studying the election through November. We were talking about it tonight.

(I should mention that her father (my brother) is a staunch Republican (because he's rich, not on any social issue or religious grounds that I can tell) and her mother is a devout Catholic who votes GOP on the abortion-and-gays issues but is quite reasonable on most other issues (single payer health care, etc. And to her credit, she puts her money where her mouth is. They're foster parents and are talking about adopting, and they've given more than one unwed mother money for prenatal care and such).

Needless to say, I am very cautious about trying to enlighten her. I go too far, and I may never get another chance. Hence the references to "President Bush" instead of his true title, Unelected Emperor Bunnypants.)

Here's a brief snippet from our conversation:

Niece (N): Who're you voting for, Aunt Dawn?

Me: Senator Kerry.

N: Why? (Looking puzzled.)

Me: I think President Bush has done a bad job. If someone does a bad job and really hurts people, they should get fired, right? Isn't that how your dad runs his business?

N: Yes.

Me: Well, if you try to run the country like a business, that's how you decide. If President Bush did a good job, we should vote to let him stay. But he did a bad job, so I'm voting to fire him and hire a new guy.

N: Daddy said that Kerry wants homosexual marriage. That's a sin.

Me: Baby, I don't know what's a sin and what isn't. That's up to your priest and the Pope and your mom, to a certain extent. But you know how your family doesn't eat meat on Fridays, but a lot of other Catholic families do?

N: Yes.

Me: Well, do you think it should be a law that NO Catholic family is ALLOWED to eat meat on Friday?

N: No! That's stupid.

Me: Well, I feel that way about gay marriage. It might be a sin, in some people's eyes, but there shouldn't be a law about it to say no one is allowed to do it. If you think it would be a sin for you to marry a girl, then you shouldn't marry a girl. But your belief about what's wrong shouldn't make the laws for everyone else. Does that make sense?

N: Eyes lit up -- light bulb went on -- no way to explain it other than that -- she GOT IT.

Slowly but surely, my DU friends. Slowly but surely, we will reach the children. And, not to be cliched, but they are the future. We will get this country back.

ON EDIT: I know some of you have had to deal with the issue of your influence on other people's kids. Should I advise her not to tell her mom we talked politics? My brother wouldn't care, but her mom might (because Kerry is an EEEEEEEEVIL "baby killer"). :puke:

[SheilaT]

1. What a great job

of explaining the issue in a way she could understand. We should all be able to do this. Bless you for what you've accomplished.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

2. Thanks.

I would love to be a fly on the wall if she repeats that conversation to her mother later.

I'm careful, but will be less so as November draws near. Free babysitters who love your child dearly are hard to find. Heh. :evilgrin:

[Lost147]

3. ...

let her figure out politics out on her own. Don't try and manipulate her to your own will.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

4. Did I make a false analogy?

What part of what I said to her do you disagree with?

[madmax]

7. We teach our children manners, etiquette, fair play etc.

why not politics? Surely you don't expect her to learn from the media?

My Granddaughter's teacher is a Republican and tried to influence her regarding a social studies assignment where she criticized bush. She refused and made her argument.

I think you did great Walt. :hug:

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

9. Way to go, Grandma!!

THANK YOU!!! :thumbsup:


Grandmas are the best. I miss mine every day. :hug:

[madmax]

11. You're welcome... and don't forget St. Christopher

Major Saint...demoted. Which caused me to wonder what happened to those 'mortal sinner's' who went to hell for eating meat on Friday before they changed the rules. Did they immediately shoot up to heaven?? :shrug:

:evilgrin:

[WilliamPitt]

13. pzzzzzcheeeezzzz

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

15. Hi, WillPitt!

I'm a big fan! Thanks for showing up in my thread! :hi:

[WilliamPitt]

16. Great job with the kid

:toast:

[iamjoy]

5. Way To Go!

especially the bit about it being a law not to eat meat on Friday.

I've often wondered, what if a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses took over and outlawed blood transfusions?

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

6. It's something she understands.

And it worked really well because she used her mother's word (sigh): SIN.

So is the steak I had for dinner last Friday, according to her mom. :eyes:

I give blood regularly. Don't get me started on THAT. LOL.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

8. A kick, since I realized I need some advice, too.

:kick:

[SmileyBoy]

10. That's perfect. I love it!!!

Once she sees both sides, she'll figure out which side is the reasonable one. And it's NOT the Repubes.

[kimchi]

12. Nicely done.

I wouldn't tell the kid to keep silent. If the mother has a problem and brings it up, just tell her that her daughter asked a question and you answered it. There is no blame or shame in being yourself and trying to explain your position.

It could also be the start of a conversation with the mother; or she could go ballistic. As long as you stay calm while elucidating your assertions, you win. Children learn their morals and demeanors from us; and from what you've described, you've set a good example.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

14. Thanks.

I have the advantage of being a free, wholly reliable babysitter. Those are hard to come by. :evilgrin:

I just worry, sometimes. I'd rather never get to influence her politically at all if it cost me my quality time with her. She's a great kid.

[SomeFellah]

17. Apply the golden rule

How would you feel if it were your young, impressionable daughter, and your brother was secretly doing his best to make her question the values that you were raising her with?

I think that when it comes to touchy topics like religion and politics, that people other than the parents should BUTT OUT. Would you think it appropriate to convince your niece secretly that her parents' religious beliefs were wrong? What makes you think that political beliefs, especially since her parents have strong political beliefs, are any different?

IMHO your instincts that are telling you that you are on dangerous ground are exactly right. Stick to enjoying your niece and stop sneaking around planting ideas in her head when her parents aren't around. If you want to question the political or religious views that her parents are teaching her (which is their perogative) then have the courtesy and decency to do it in front of them so that they know what you are doing. She isn't your child.

Otherwise you are definitely risking a rupture with your brother and his family. I know that if you were my sister-in-law I'd be angry with what you are doing. Just because you feel strongly about your political views doesn't give you the right to get between the girl and her parents on these issues -- especially if you don't have the courage to do it right in front of her parents. I would politely suggest that (a)you need to do some growing up yourself, and (b) have children of your own and then you can teach them according to YOUR beliefs.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

19. OK....

So when she asked me who I was voting for, and I told her, and she asked me why, I should have said what? I should lie to her?

If her parents were taking her to Klan rallies I should smile and say it's okay since they're her parents?

[SomeFellah]

18. One more thought...

Consider what you wrote at the end of your initial post:

"Should I advise her not to tell her mom we talked politics?"

Does this remind you of anything? Like, maybe, the "funny uncle" who tells the niece not to tell Mommy what they're doing? Does that maybe set off some warning bells, if you have to consider asking the girl to keep secrets from her own mother about what you are telling her?

You mean well but your are way out of bounds here.

[Maddy McCall]

20. Don't ever advise a child to keep secrets from a parent.

I think you handled this well, but I would never advise a child to hide things from her parents.

And, above all else, it's the parents' job to inculcate morality in the child. I have explained and discussed my political philosophy with my son, but I would be livid if a Republican discussed "baby killing" or "the homosexual agenda" with him.

You did fine explaining this to her--it's tedious ground to attempt to sway other peoples' children on these hot button issues, though.

[Gryffindor_Bookworm]

21. I didn't, and I won't.

I have occasional panic when I realize how nutty my sister-in-law really is. But she brought up the election, not me, and I answered her questions honestly. Jesus wouldn't want me to lie, would he, sis-in-law? :evilgrin:

In all seriousness, you're right, and I thank you.