Interesting take on the Draft

[DemWitch]

Got this from a friend of mine, she's 65, and happily retired after 40 years of government service...

Sending Old Men To War

If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those
responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City and
Washington, DC.
But, I'm over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I'm too old to track down
terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the
whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they
ought to take us old guys.
You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters:
Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into
submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"
An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on
the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and
a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wonders
for the old beer belly.
An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up
early every morning to pee.
If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd
probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed
a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than
naps.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat
and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the
Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."
And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen
anyone outrun a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the
top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He's still
hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a
400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.
All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life
before sending them off to possible death.
Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten cowards who attacked our
hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right now
is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.