Olympic Security Shocker!

[Fuzz]

Mysterious Wooden Structure Causing Pre-Olympic
Jitters

Olympic security officials in Athens, Greece conceded
today that they had failed to notice a giant wooden
horse that had been wheeled to within meters of the
Olympic stadium sometime late last week.

The sudden appearance of the gigantic horse, which
was said to measure over one hundred cubits in width,
has raised fresh concerns that the security around the
Olympic complex might be more porous than originally
thought.

"When you're spending over $1.5 billion in security,
quite frankly, somebody shouldn't be able to wheel a
giant wooden horse right up to your stadium," said one
U.S. official today.

But Thanasis Kyriakou, who is coordinating the
security efforts for the 2004 Olympics, said that the
horse, while of unknown origin, posed no serious
security threat to the Games, which are set to begin
in three days.

"If anything, this gigantic horse is only bringing
more attention to the Olympics," he said. "I see this
horse as a tremendous gift."

Sharply disagreeing with Mr. Kyriakou is NBC Sports
Chairman Dick Ebersol, who said that the unplanned
resence of a gigantic horse could ruin his network's
coverage of the Games.

"It's wrecking all of our camera angles," Mr. Ebersol
said. "Everywhere you look, there's that dopey horse
in the background."

For his part, Mr. Kyriakou believes that the enormous
horse could enhance viewership of the Olympics and has
even recommended wheeling the mysterious wooden
structure into the stadium itself.

"I say let the horse in," he said. "What's the worst
that could happen?"

The Borowitz Report

[underpants]

1. Too funny

sure let it in

[efhmc]

2. Quite clever. There are those angry panties again. I really get scared

when I see those. (I know they are not panties. They are male underdrawers.)

[Sequoia]

3. ..and I'm reading "The Iliad" right now!

Sure is a bummer that the horse didn't show up in that story. This is a funny post, now I can have my horse.