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Edited on Thu Aug-12-04 11:42 AM by ronnykmarshall
Today a group of Massachusetts animal-care professionals, Swift Boat
Veterinarians for Truth, launched an advertising campaign to counter
claims
made by John Kerry's family concerning his heroism and the family dog's
misconduct in the alleged near-death of a hamster. A script of the
advertisement follows:
"Hamster" (0:60)
Alexandra Kerry (video from Democratic National Convention): We were
standing on a dock waiting for a boat to take us on a summer trip.
Vanessa,
the scientist, had packed all her animals including her favorite hamster.
Our overzealous golden retriever got tangled in his leash and knocked the
hamster cage off the dock. We watched as Licorice, the unlucky hamster,
bubbled down to a watery doom. . But my dad jumped in, grabbed an oar,
fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hamster and began
to
administer CPR.
Vet No. 1: I was on that boat coming to pick up John Kerry.
Vet No. 2: John Kerry has not been honest about what happened.
Vet No. 1: He's lying about the hamster.
Vet No. 3: I know John Kerry is lying about the hamster, because I
treated
the hamster for that injury.
(On-screen: X-ray)
Vet No. 4: I took care of that retriever since he was a puppy. He would
never hurt another living thing. John Kerry has besmirched the honor of
every dog who ever served.
(On-screen: guide dog leading veteran)
Vet No. 1: I don't even think he had a dog. Never heard one. Maybe a cat.
Even that far away, my eyesight's pretty good.
Vet No. 5: He says it was a retriever. Well, retrievers go get things.
That's what they do. The cage goes in the water, and the retriever
doesn't
go after it? Come on.
Vet No. 2: There was no leash. I looked up when I heard the dog. Went
back
to the house and got my binoculars just to make sure. I think he kicked
the
damn thing in the water himself.
(On-screen: caged hamster sinking)
Vet No. 5: OK, tell me this. How do you hook that cage with an oar? You
want to tell me how an oar fits through a hole a hamster can't get out
of?
Vet No. 4: The CPR thing. That kills me. I shook hands with that bastard
once. Ever seen his fingers? Jesus. He probably crushed it right there if
it wasn't dead already.
(On-screen: rodent carcass on pavement)
Vet No. 2: Yeah, I saw him do mouth-to-mouth once. Not on a hamster. Can
we
go off the record?
Vet No. 3: He lied to the girls. He lied to his country.
Vet No. 5: When the cage was in the water, you could not count on John
Kerry.
(On-screen: bubbles emerging to surface)
Vet No. 4: He blamed the dog. He blamed the girls. Everyone but himself.
(On-screen: bubbles cease)
Announcer: Swift Boat Veterinarians for Truth is responsible for the
content of this advertisement.
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