PENIS!

[Dookus]

Oh dear... that was a typo. I meant Pens.

[terrya]

1. Sure you did.

:-)

[bitchkitty]

2. Well dang! VAGINA! n/t

[yellowcanine]

4. So you meant to say.........Vans?.......Angina! That's the ticket.

.

[arwalden]

20. Perhaps it was... Virginia!

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. VAGINA!

[Dookus]

5. Is that

V-A-G-I-N-A as in Vagina?


*thanks to Graham Norton*

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. I think he meant Angina!!!

:o

[Dookus]

14. Betty had her first date

since her husband died 15 years earlier.

She liked Earl. They got along well. She brought him back to her home and made him a drink, and it became clear they were going to be intimate.

She excused herself and went into the bathroom to prepare herself. After applying a touch of makeup and brushing her hair, she walked out with just a towel wrapped around her waist.

She said to Earl: I have to tell you before we start, that I have acute angina.

Earl replied: I sure hope so 'cuz you got pretty saggy tits!

[pagerbear]

15. I heard this joke with

....Tallulah Bankhead and Joan Crawford

[Dookus]

16. Yes, both famously bisexual women

my favorite hollywood sexual-horror story is the one about Joan Crawford and Martha Raye being lovers. Talk about the Big Mouth.

(SHUDDER)

My favorite Tallulah Bankhead story is the one where she was filming Lifeboat for Hitchcock and had to crawl into the water. An assistant director pointed out that Tallulah was going commando, and when her dress got wet, the camera could see it all.

Hitchcock expressed his confusion over whether he should call wardrobe or hairdressing.

[pagerbear]

18. My favorite Tallulahtude

...is at a Christmas Eve procession at Little Church Around the Corner in NYC (very high church--smells and bells), she says to one of the priests, "I love your drag but your purse is on fire!"

[Dookus]

19. heheh....

awesome.

She rawked.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

6. Any bets on how long it will take until this thread is locked?

I'll go with 20 minutes

[Dookus]

8. It's 6:16 now... I'll take the under

[yellowcanine]

7. Breast!.....uh, I mean Beast!

.

[SheepyMcSheepster]

9. find the pens you need online at www.penisland.com

pen island has it all!

[trotsky]

17. LMAO

I'm afraid to bring up that site.

[SheepyMcSheepster]

21. actually, it is not a real site.

you would think someone would have put something on www.penisland.com by now

but yeah, it is just a joke, sorry there is no actual pen island.

[Guy_Montag]

10. Cnut

is the correct spelling of Canute, one of Englands most pious kings.

On edit: I wonder why they don't spell his name correctly in school books.

[shraby]

12. Viagra

oops I meant vagrant.

[Drifter]

13. My Pen Is Leaking

Cheers
Drifter

[GodlessBiker]

22. Oh, man!

And I was hoping for something really steamy for my first post!

[Dookus]

24. I'm sorry to let you down...

Please at least let me the first to welcome you to DU.

If you wanna see a penis, talk to BigMcLargeHugeEnormousGigantic or whatever his name is. I hear he has a penis that's almost five and half inches long! Can you imagine?!

[GodlessBiker]

26. That's just too big! Who could handle it?

Thanks. A biker buddy told me about DU so I thought I would give it a shot.

[Dookus]

28. I have a Harley 1200 Sportster

VROOM VROOM!

[GodlessBiker]

29. Damn nice bike.

Yamaha V-Star here. I can afford Harley stock, but not the bike. :-(

[TXlib]

23. LOCKING

This is just disturbing.

[SarahB]

25. uh....

yes, please :evilgrin:

(To the pen I mean. I need to write something down.)

[TXlib]

27. You can borrow mine...

I'm not using it right now.

:evilgrin:

[OneBlueSky]

30. as in "the penis mightier than the sword?" . . . :) n/t

.

[jdonaldball]

31. They all look about two inches long

and so thin.
I feel better now.