The annual outing of the candy asses who hate American Football.

[trumad]

Each season DU has a thread where all the Candy Assed bourgeois, out of shape, never picked for a team sport, throws like a dork, runs like a they're in a potato sack, whiners get going about how evil and violent and just flat mean Pro-Football really is. Poor babies!!



http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=1528667&mesg_id=1528667

[Screaming Lord Byron]

1. What's pro-football. Is it anything like rugby?

It's not that game that is basically rugby, except the wusses wear all that padding is it? :evilgrin:

[muriel_volestrangler]

4. No, it's a game where the purpose is to avoid kicking the ball

at all costs. That's why it's called 'football'. Any member of a team who does kick it is looked down on by the other members as a 'wuss', or 'weirdo'.

[Anus Retainus]

9. And don't forget...

...they also have two teams each that like to take a break after each play, so that 1 hour of gameplay takes almost four hours!

Did I mention all those inflated scores too! I mean, 6 points for a standard score and half that for just kicking the ball over the goal posts without even allowing a goal keeper to try and block it!

[trumad]

10. LOL...

You ever stand on an NFL sideline? Put those pads on a Rugby player and they still wouldn't last 5 minutes in a pro game... You're talking guys 6.6, 250 pounds who can run 4.8 forites...Imagine that running into you. Rugby's tough no doubt, but they aint got the size and speed of the NFL.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

13. Sure. Just playing around. I dig the NFL, CFL etc.

[ScrewyRabbit]

2. Okay, I'm that guy

except that I don't think it's evil, violent, or just flat mean. I just don't care about it!

[Maddy McCall]

3. Isn't there a difference in watching football and playing it?

I've seen some reall lardasses watching football, who couldn't run around the block if their lives depended on it.

:-)

[tridim]

5. Football is boring, pointless and slow.

It's like a Republican on horse tranquilizers.

[Carni]

14. Limbaugh on ludes

LOL

[trumad]

19. and your sport?

Plese don't tell me it's soccer.

[tridim]

22. Hockey, College Basketball and X-Games type sports

Soccer sucks only slightly less than American football.

[DBoon]

6. I hate football

and I have a brown belt in Shotokan Karate.

"Shove It!"

[Spider Jerusalem]

7. I'd like football if it were more like rugby.

As it is it's just not violent ENOUGH.

[Bronco69]

8. Tell us how you really feel!

:-)

[trumad]

16. I always do...

and each of the last couple of seasons I enjoy watching folks put down a sport that clearly so many folks like. It's like shut the fuck up if you don't like it...I don't post threads dissing how much I hate Gardening. To each his own.

[HEyHEY]

11. Violence? It's got nothing on WHL hockey

[Worst Username Ever]

18. Yep, hockey trumps football easily. n/t

[Carni]

12. Damn! I guess you're a football fan

BTW "I throw like a girl" too (could be because I am one)

[trumad]

17. I said dork, not girl... I know girls who can throw as good as I can

[reprehensor]

15. Four-Year Penalty

Four-Year Penalty

George W. Bush won’t get away with this sort of unsportsmanlike conduct.

By Charles P. Pierce
Web Exclusive: 08.13.04

The most surreal day at any National Football League training camp is the day that the referees drop by to chat. Various of the league’s zebras stop in to discuss those rules that the NFL is planning to enforce with sufficient gusto as to cause members of the underground economy’s investor class to hurl the dog at the television screen at critical moments.

This year, celebrations are on their mind. Over the last couple of years, it seems, players have become too elaborately overjoyed with scoring touchdowns. It began when Terrell Owens of San Francisco stowed a Sharpie in his sock and, upon scoring, whipped it out and autographed the ball. It continued last season when New Orleans wideout Joe Horn hid a cell phone in the goalpost padding and pretended to dial up a friend upon arriving in the end zone. Moreover, touchdowns have regularly been greeted with elaborate posing, high-stepping, ball-spinning, ensemble dance numbers and, as best as can be determined, the second act of Singin’ In The Rain. The NFL has decided that this epidemic of fun has spread far enough.

So we had an earnest lecture from a fellow in a striped shirt about what will be allowed this year and what will not. For example, celebrations aimed directly at an opponent will be penalized. These include sack dances, home-run swings, military salutes (low bridge there, big John), spiking the ball, and something called “The Incredible Hulk,” which apparently is an elaborate flexing pose. This obviously is a preemptive move lest players begin working their way through the entire Marvel Comics catalog until they get to The Human Torch, in which they light one another on fire after every touchdown.

Also forbidden anywhere on the field are such uncivil gestures as throat-slashing, sexually suggestive gestures, and stomping on the opposing team’s logo. Marketing being what it is to the NFL, I think that logo-stomping thing is the most serious offense of all. Of course, the interpretation of these rules is completely in the hands of the on-field officials, who will judge whether the celebration is one of “spontaneous exuberance.” Asking NFL referees to identify spontaneous exuberance is roughly akin to summoning the Council on Foreign Relations to judge the finals of American Idol.

more@link

[terrya]

20. I'm here...I'm queer....I hate football!

:-)

[nini]

21. I'm female and I LOVE football!

Prefer college games, but I love football.

won't hear me whining about it.

[HEyHEY]

24. SPY!

;-)

[zanana]

23. Oh, Trumad...

It's just hard to concentrate on something so long and boring.

[DS1]

25. hmm, I like some sports, root for the Red Sox, throw pretty damn well

would easily catch up to you and beat you down, and still think American Football sucks.

How you like dem apples?

[Deb]

26. Don't forget the Eye Candy

You know, those larger than life, bald, shirtless, 300lb fans painted in team colors. Just fabulous on my high def TV... :D

[Downtown Hound]

27. Candy asses?

My sport is boxing homeboy. In high school, while every other gimp was playing football in the hope that it would make them popular, I was going rounds against big burly Mexican gang members twenty years older than me.

Football is for wimps. It's a bunch of fat men running into each other and then falling down. "Oooh look, I just ran fifteen feet before getting knocked over! Look at what an incredible athlete I am!"

As for non-football fans being out of shape, have you taken a look at your average pro-football fan lately? Their guts practically hang out over the edge of the couch. No my friend, you stick to your potato chips and six packs in front of the 27-inch wide screen high definition television. I'll stick to real sports.

[BigMcLargehuge]

28. locked

Hut.. Hut... Hut.... Uncivil.