I just yelled at a client... (long rant)

[salvorhardin]

and basically told them to go Cheney theirself.

So I spent about three (working) days coding additional functionality to a web application for a client that I had originally written last year. At its' heart it is a screen scraper (program gathers information from another web page) that runs daily and stores the info it gathers into a database. It allows the client to search it from a web form by name, date or "favorites." No, it's neither porn or spam, thank you. :-)

The added functionality was something the client was in a hurry for, initially asking for it over a month ago. I let him know up front that I would not be able to do the project for 4-6 weeks until a couple of my other projects were out of the way, but I'd let him know as soon as I started it. At that time I worked out with him a detailed specification for the project and e-mailed a copy to him. Over the next few weeks and during the time I was working on it he called almost every day to ask if I was "done yet."

I called him last Thursday to let him know I had started and I finished it early Wednesday morning. Since the client wasn't home I could not go over the added features on the web interface. Thursday morning I went over the new features with him and he was very happy. Claimed it was "exactly what he wanted." However, I'd have to wait until after the first of the month for payment. Nevermind that this was something he needed yesterday.

Between then and this morning he called three times saying it "was broken." Each time it was something stupid. The first two times he had hidden the date picker pop-up window behind the main browser window. The third time he claimed it wasn't recording the changes he had made. After walking through the process with him we found out he wasn't clicking the submit button.

This morning he calls and suddenly it's not working the way he thought it should be. To avoid getting technical, the web site from which he wishes to gather information (rather than pay for a subscription) has two different layouts for two different types of data sets. The original specification was for the program to be able to pick the data off Page A, but not Page B. That was not changed in the specification for the new features. Now he claims it should be picking up Page B as well.

I told him that was certainly easily enough done and that it would be an additional X dollars for the new code to parse the other page. He insisted that I should be able to just make it pick up the other page at no additional charge. I tried to explain to him why this would result in another few hours of programming time by drawing his attention to the differences in the source code for each page. He refused to understand and was now claiming that I did not "do it right."

After going around like this for a few minutes I simply erupted. I'm like this -- I try very hard to control my emotions, and I'm really good at it; staying calm and pleasant. That's my everyday demeanor and something I pride myself on, as foolish as that might sound. However, once I pass a certain point it all comes out and it isn't pretty. It's especially bad when someone I consider to be a technical layperson questions my expertise.

I'm fairly certain I didn't use profanity, but I did tell him (very loudly) that the program was working exactly like he wanted and agreed upon, I'd be more than happy to make it work like he (now) thinks it should for the additional fee (only another $100 -- the information this program provides allows him to make tens of thousands of dollars a year), and that he could think about it -- goodbye!

Still in a rage I then telnetted into the server and switched the index page back to the previous version so that the added features are all no longer available (to him). This doesn't affect the data it's collecting, he just can't access it in the new ways. I figured he could have them back when and if he ever pays me. Of course, as soon as I had done that the phone starts ringing with the caller id displaying his number. I did not answer as once I cross the line I become totally incapable of coherent speech.

I'm starting to come down from the rage now and needed someone to tell this to. None of my friends were available so I thought I'd type at DU for a while.

This totally f*in ruins my whole day. I'm nauseated, headachey and now depressed as all hell. I know I won't be able to accomplish anything else all day and feel like just crawling back into bed. I'm not a guy who normally cries but after something like this I turn all weepy. The worst thing is I feel guilty about yelling at the guy. Even worst (worster? worstest?) than that is I feel guilty about feeling guilty.

Terrible tempers run in my family and growing up I always swore I'd never be like that, but with each passing year I find it harder and harder to be the nice guy. Over the years I've certainly let people take advantage of me for sake of not causing conflict. I just don't seem to be able to take it anymore. I'm beginning to question if there isn't something psychologically wrong with me.


-------


...several hours have passed now and I've talked with another client. He picked up on the fact that I'm now quite depressed and asked me what was up. I related the story as I've pretty much told it here, leaving out details that would identify the guy. He says I shouldn't feel guilty and that I was perfectly in my rights to get angry.

I think part of the problem and maybe why I let myself lose my temper so easily is that I was up to 1:30 this morning fixing a problem with the mail server. Blech. Tired of rehashing this in my mind. Since my day is trashed I'm getting out of here and drive around or something.

Thanks DU for letting me rant (once again).

[SheilaT]

1. You did the right thing

in ranting here, rather than picking up the phone earlier. Sometimes I type an angry comment or reply here, and then don't send it, but I feel much better for having typed out whatever I wanted to say in the first place.

We're here for you.

Hope your idiot client pays you and that promptly.

[Massacure]

2. Try not to worry about it too much, It happens to everybody

[tandot]

3. sorry that you have to deal with such idiots. Here is a group hug:

:grouphug:

[Jo March]

4. Ah, the old "works as designed"

You gave him what he said that he wanted only he didn't really and truly know what he wanted nor did he have the capacity to figure out how to work new features on his own.

This is why I no longer develop.

I think that you did the right thing. You delivered the product. Now, you have functional specs that he signed off on, right? If you have design docs, then he can't say squat and has to pay you.

Screw him. Just be crisp and professional when he calls up until he pays. Once he's paid, then you can calmly drop him as a client or choose to keep him.

[Love Bug]

5. Don't let it steal your joy, darlin'

I can appreciate your frustration! Here', have a drink and relax:

:beer:

Users are stupid, aren't they?

[BigMcLargehuge]

6. Sounds like you were contracting for the owner of my company

you did the right thing, even shutting off the new features was the right thing if he didn't pay you for them.

Good luck and take a deep breath. Sometimes a couple of hours putting all that anger into something physical makes it go away.

[DS1]

7. There's no two ways about it

Some people that purchase computing expertise need to be beaten.

:hurts:

[Hawkeye-X]

8. Data mining

Are you programming for a spammer?

Just wondering.


Hawkeye-X

[DS1]

9. First paragraph

No, it's neither porn or spam, thank you.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

10. The client was CLEARLY trying to weasel out of paying.

All I recommend now is trace a plan of action. Make it like a flow diagram or pseudolanguage, like

if (client-willing-to-pay-immediately)
    if (amount == original)
    {
        while (!paid)
            ;
        restore(index.html)
    }
    else
    {
       ...you get the drift.

Try to cover all possibilities, include a longjmp() for anything not foreseen, and only engage in conversation with this fellow if you feel you can keep a cool head.

[bearfan454]

11. Your client is an asshole

You did everything right.

[truthspeaker]

12. Your mistake: You gave him what he asked for, not what he wanted!

[Tardisian]

13. A hug, a drink of your choice, and...

a quote, from my husband's boss: "This would so much easier if we didn't have to deal with the clients."

I can always tell when hubby's on the phone with certain clients...his voice gets louder and louder, as he tries to tell them to slow down, or to listen to what HE has to say. I'm truly surprised that normally level-headed people don't explode more than they do.

Oh, and a smooch on the nose...don't ask; it seems to just bring a smile!

[Terran]

14. Don't feel guilty

It sounds like your client is a complete idiot.

Love your screen name, btw--from Azimov, isn't he? Brings back memories. I hope you feel better, and have a good weekend.

[salvorhardin]

17. Asimov, yes!

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."

[Terran]

18. OMG, I'd forgotten about that!

How utterly appropriate. Well chosen! Now I'm thinking I have to do re-read that--it's been a loooong time!

Dirk (sweet sf memories!)

[TeacherCreature]

15. family pattern of losing temper

You can swear all you want that you are not going to fall into the same patterns as your family but it won't work if you don't learn some new stategies. Strategies for dealing with difficult situations aren't something that just occure to people out of thin air.

I don't blame you for being mad at this customer, he is an asshole. However you ended up doing more damage to yourself than you did to him. I am sure he is not being driving around miserable and depressed.

You could have said the same things to him calmly if you had not gone around and around with him first. You are right, the law is on your side. The guy needs to pay you and you need to make sure he does. But here is the thing.. you loose power when you get upset and yell. when you feel one of these situations coming on excuse yourself from the call (make up an imaginary visitor or emergency if you need to) then decide what is reasonable to charge the person, what you will do and what you will not do etc... call the person back and tell them "this is it". Tell them once, then if they argue calmly tell them once more giving them the benefit of the doubt, perhaps they didn't hear you the first time. But no person of any age needs to be told something more than twice.
Then stick to your guns and end the conversation. That way you will never have to be upset or confrontational.

[salvorhardin]

16. Thanks everyone

for the kind thoughts and encouragement. At the risk of sounding cliche, it really does mean a lot. Now, I was going to get out of here a couple hours ago so I'm out of here.

[TrogL]

19. The users need to be taken down a few rungs every once in awhile

A blew up all over one of my main users yesterday because he was repeatedly asking for the impossible. 2+2+2 is never going to equal 9 no matter how many times he keeps asking for it. Spend the money or shut up. Sent out a detailed snotgram to everybody involved. The PHB's knocked a few heads together and came back with a solution where 2+1=3 and everybody was (relatively) happy.