Revision to the RNC schedule

[EstimatedProphet]

You have undoubtedly seen the republican convention schedule.
This one is updated, and greatly improved.

Here is the new convention schedule...

Republican National Convention Schedule: Revised, July 2004

>6:00pm - Opening prayer

>6:15pm - Supplementary opening prayer

>6:30pm - Prayer in thanks of first two prayers

>6:45pm - New energy policy presented by Exxon

>7:00pm - Canonization of Reagan

>7:15pm - Additional prayers

>7:30pm - Opening remarks by Halliburton

>8:00pm - Prayer for the safety and well-being of Ken "Kenny-boy" Lay

>8:15pm - Additional remarks by Halliburton

>8:30pm - Stoning of the first homosexual

>8:45pm - New healthcare polices presented by HMO leader, Kaiser
Permanente

>9:00pm - Invasion of Iran or North Korea (TBA)

>9:15pm - Halliburton contributes 1.4 billion to Republican party

>9:30pm - Reagan elevated to savior, Holy Trinity now referred to as "the
quads"

>9:45pm - Bush undergoes plastic surgery to look more like Reagan

>10:00pm - Cheney runs into Ron Reagan, Jr. Tells him to go fuck himself

>10:15pm - Recall of troops from accidental invasion of South Korea
(Bush:"Damn, the SOUTH is our ally. My bad.")

>10:30pm - Burning at the stake of 16 year-old Jenny Williams, who had an
illegal abortion after being raped by her cousin

>10:45pm - Dancing around the golden calf

>11:00pm - Stoning of the partner of the first homosexual

>11:15pm - New forestry policy presented by Weyerhaeuser

>11:45pm - Thanking God for his wisdom in choosing Bush as president

>12:00pm - Closing prayers (lasting until 2:00am)

>2:00 am - Hookers arrive for all delegates

[Cerridwen]

1. I was wondering

when they were finally gonna make "Saint Ronnie's" sainthood official.

:puke: