I cried at work...to a pal/co-worker. I am SO embarrassed!

[TexasSissy]

I was having a really bad day. I'm not really a crier, or a ranter or a raver. But I was having a really really really bad day. Something really hurt my feelings. So I sought out a friend and sobbed about it. Totally uncool in the staid, stodgy, stuffy firm I work at, where females have businesslike bobbed hair and walk primly down the hall and wear lots of linen in the summertime. I think others overheard me. And it is totally uncool to present a vulnerable, weak side in the office. Winners simply don't DO that.

Do I just act like, hey, it's cool. I was upset about something, and it's okay to act like you're upset if you ARE upset. It's not like I was crying up and down the hallway. And I had a valid reason for being upset.

I have a good reputation otherwise, personality-wise and work quality-wise. How do I act at the office now, assuming others heard, and knowing that such behavior is not businesslike and something that a "winner" would do? And assuming that others might now know what upset me (I'm in a difficult work situation, so if others heard, I could no longer act like the situation is okay with me, since it may be out of the bag that it's very much not okay with me).

How would you act going into the office tomorrow? (we're all working over the weekend) Or do I now have to leave my job? Is my reputation as a "winner" over?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

1. You are a human being so what . Everyone cries at times .

[TexasSissy]

10. Yes, thanks for reminding me of that. It's easy to forget that in the

work place.

[comsymp]

2. Oh, honey! One word-

Denial.

Assuming anybody should have the bad manners to mention it, just blow it off- "oh, bad day"- no details, no opening up.

Hope you're doing better?

WASPily-
cs

[TexasSissy]

11. That sounds good. I like that. Act cool & confident. I like it.

Yes, I'm doing better. It's a good thing that bad days pass, isn't it? Sometimes people suck.

[Justice]

3. Shake It Off

Don't let it consume you. You had a bad day. You vented, cried and released the emotions.

Go in tomorrow, be yourself -- the winner. Don't let one day (or a few hours or minutes) redefine who you are, who you have been for a long period of time.

Also, don't kid yourself - others may have heard you, but most people would be concerned, would care. If the work situation is difficult, it sounds like others would recognize that - you may have some unknown allies. Sure, some may be jerks - but they were jerks before today. They will always be jerks.

Most importantly, when thinking long term - put yourself first. You want a career, you want to do well, maybe this isn't making you happy - maybe you need a different environment - not because you are weak, but because you are strong enough to realize you need a change.

[TexasSissy]

12. Thanks so much. You're right. The problem is the job, as it is now,

is not making me happy, and I'm trying to fake it. "Work" through the bad times, as it were. Maybe that's not the right way to approach it. But you're right. I shouldn't let one bad day be such a total bummer for me, after all I've accomplished and how long I've been there. Thanks.

[Zookeeper]

4. I suggest...

walking in tomorrow with your head held high and a "don't mess with me" attitude. Don't feel ashamed, don't let anyone make you feel ashamed and you'll look like a "winner." Who knows what kind of "breakdowns" your co-workers have had that you don't know about.

If your co-workers did overhear you express your dissatisfaction, you will probably have to be upfront about it. Maybe that will be a good thing in the long run, as it could change the situation for the better. Or, if it doesn't, you may decide to find a job in a saner place.

[TexasSissy]

14. This seems to be the consensus. I will do it! Head held high & all!

That's the ticket. And yes, maybe I shouldn't try to fake that I'm okay with a lousy situation. Maybe I shouldn't try to be such a trooper.

I should not be ashamed! I'm human. Even though the others there wouldn't cry like that doesn't mean it was wrong for me to. After all, that's partly why I have my friends....I react to those around me. Thanks so much for your advice. I'll do it!

[Downtown Hound]

5. Please, don't be such a TexasSissy...

Naw I'm just kidding. So you cried? Big Deal! Crying is not a crime, and anyone who makes it out to be is not worth the time you spent worrying about them. When you go in tomorrow, just be the person you've always been. Although I don't know you, it sounds like that person is something special that they should feel fortunate to have around.

I don't know your work situation. If you feel you should leave, make sure it's for reasons that relate to what you feel you need out of your work and your satisfaction. Don't leave because you cried. That will stay with you. Crying is not an act of surrender, it's an emotional release. If you leave because of it however, then you'll be running away. Remember wherever you go, there you are.

Hugs.

[TexasSissy]

15. Yes, crying is a release. I had been trying to fake it that I was okay

with a newish situation at work, so it was building up. I suppose it had to come out in some way, and crying isn't the worst way it could come out. As far as "wherever you go, there you are," I thought of that. If the problem is the way I'm trying to handle the situation, then that misjudgment of how to handle such a situation would just go with me.

Yes, I'll just go in like you and the other posters have suggested, and just act normal, with head held high. Thanks! And YES, I guess I AM a sissy!:cry:

:7

[Obamarama]

6. Leave your job because you cried?

You're obsessing if you ask me. Just go in and act as if nothing happened. The more you make an issue out of it, the more it will be an issue.

I once went into work feeling a bit nauseous but not really ill enough to stay home. Well, once I got to work I felt progressively worse. All of a sudden I was hit with realization I was going to hurl. I knew I had no chance of making it to the bathroom so I grabbed the wastepaper basket and hurled away. I was MORTIFIED (as were my coworkers) but I just went back in two days later after I had recovered and pretended nothing had happened.

If corporate America would ever get rid of the office hell of cubicles and open workspaces that would help a lot. I work in an open office environment and am bombarded day in and day out by the sordid details of the pathetic lives of the stupid, ignorant drones otherwise known as my co-workers. What I wouldn't give for an office with a god damned door.

Sounds like you're a professional, so just go back into the office and be the professional you are.

[TexasSissy]

16. Whoa! What insight! I AM an obsessive person. Oooooh,,,,,

it hadn't occurred to me that I'm obsessing over this bad day (don't know why that didn't occur to me, since I know I'm obsessive).

Reminds me of the time I took one of those self-tests in a magazine. This one tested for type of personality (Type A or B or C, etc.). We all want to be Type B, the normal, well-adjusted person with a balanced life and balanced view, right? I took the test, and it said I was a Type A. I didn't think that was right, so I was re-taking the test, when my brother called. I told him about the test I took and that I was re-taking it, since I didn't think the result was correct. He laughed and pointed out to me that I had pretty much confirmed the result by re-taking the test! I had to laugh because he was soooo right! And I hadn't realized it, until he pointed it out.

Thanks for your advice. It was right on.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

7. This concept of "winner", although widespread, represents something that's

anything but a winner.

Edit: crappy @@#$&%ing keyboard

[TexasSissy]

19. Yep. I noticed how often I used that word, when I read my post

after I posted it. Interesting, since I didn't think I was one to focus on being a "winner." Sort of a superficial way of looking of things, now that I think of it.

[H2O Man]

8. I'm not sure

why so many people view crying as a negative thing. If you laughed at work, you wouldn't be so self-conscious about it. It's not a bad thing to be in touch with your feelings. That might sound odd in our culture, but it's true.

Ranting and raving, or threatening people, isn't a good thing. But crying is okay.

[TexasSissy]

20. I guess it's my Stepford Firm environment. I've been there for a

number of years, and there have been few instances of anyone crying there. Then again, there's been little yelling, either. It's, well, dignified. But I'm of French heritage. What can I say. Sort of like being Italian. Reacting to those around us is in the blood of the French, but I usu. am pretty good about keeping those emotions reigned in. Oh, well. C'est la vie, huh?

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

9. Is this for real?

You are seriously considering leaving your job because you CRIED and confided to a coworker about a problem?

Wow.

[TexasSissy]

21. Yeah, it's pathetic, isn't it? I have come to realize from all these

responses how obsessive I am being over this bad day and my crying (well, I DO cry loudly - I have a voice that carries). So I'm pretty sure one or more others must have heard. I guess I worry too much about being a "problem" at the workplace. I try to act like things are fine all the time. Everyone does at my work place. But my being upset was warranted, my co-worker assured me. So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to react to the situation.

[VoteDemocratic2004]

13. Walk in like nothing happened

Been there done that and it's alright to cry everyone is human.

[TexasSissy]

24. That seems to be the strain of thought. So that's what I'm going to

do. Act like I did nothing wrong, it's no big deal, I had a bad day, so what. At least I react like a human when someone does me wrong. And that's the name of that tune, to steal from Barretta. Thanks for your advice.

[kiahzero]

17. Don't buy into all that

It's harmful to you, and to men in general. It's not a negative thing to have emotions, nor to express them. It doesn't affect the quality of your work, and it shouldn't affect other people's opinion of you. If it does, then those specific co-workers are assholes.

I would recommend not stressing over it so much. Treating it like a big deal gives it, as an issue, far more credit than it's worth.

[TexasSissy]

22. I'm not a man. I'm a woman. Yeah, I'm gonna act like it wasn't a

big deal.

[kiahzero]

23. Ooops.

Wow. I feel like a total ass now.

My apologies.

[TexasSissy]

25. LOL LOL!

[DS1]

18. I just spent a lot of time talking to someone that did the same thing

it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's a very human reaction.

:hug:

[TexasSissy]

26. Thank you. I don't know anyone else who has cried at work, so

it's comforting to know that someone else has. I'm going in tomorrow and not act embarrassed. And more than that...I'm going to try not to BE embarrassed. Thanks.

:hi: