So, my fundie sister has this affair, see . . .

[donco6]

. . . and not only does she have an affair, she has it with the pastor of the large fundie church.

And now, the paternity of her last child is in question.

Yeah, and she had the gall to cancel her trip to Colorado because she didn't like that I was going to bring my partner of 7 years to dinner.

Can we all say, HYPOCRITE?

Honestly, I feel bad for her, and if she showed up hat in hand to offer to mend fences, I'd take it. But I haven't seen it so far. I had to read about the whole thing in my hometown paper. Jeezus.

[MikeG]

1. So what you are saying is fundie women are playas.

[soothsayer]

not just fundie women, but funky fundy preachers! nt

[movonne]

4. No I think she is trying to say that fundies are player and who cares

but she is a hypocrite.

[Bertha Venation]

2. That's just so incredibly sad. I'm sorry, Donco.

I'm not surprised, though.

[Rose Siding]

3. Hypocrite, yes

But that doesn't make it hurt any less for you. Your willingness to be forgiving is evidence that you care. I hope she grows to learn what she's missing.

[donco6]

6. I really do, too.

In fact, when I first heard she'd had the affair, I honestly had the thought, "Oh, you mean she's leaving that overbearing fundie husband of hers? Good for her!" Then I found out it was the frickin' pastor! Damn.

I don't get to see my niece or nephews because of her crazy religion. I used to send gifts for birthdays, but never got a thank you, so I quit.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

12. That pastor sounds like...

he has a d.MF(Doctor of Mind Fuck). Lots of them do. I have seen someone descend into a near-delusional, disassociative state, thanks to one of them "Men of God".

Sounds cultic, actually. Destruction of family ties is something cults demand. One of the touchstones, as it were.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

5. Heh.

I love fundies.

"I have a personal relationship with my lord and saviour, Jeebus Keerist. I am born again and bathed in the blood of the lamb. All my sins have been washed away. Therefore, I can anything I damned well please, no matter how many commandments I break, because if I do, all I have to do is whip out my spiritual cell phone, dial 1-800-JEEBUS and I am forgiven! Send Money!".

Fuckin' as if...

[iconoclastic cat]

9. LOL

Damn, that was good.

[acmavm]

7. Holy Moley, that's almost funny. Except I'm sure that you're not laughing,

and I didn't mean to be insulting.

But it's just SOOOOO stereotypical.

[donco6]

10. Oh, believe me, the irony is just too perfect not to laugh.

And I have done my share of snickering. But mostly just head shaking. What the hell...?

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

11. The Sin of Pride, Donco.

It's an epidemic amongst them.

Trust me. I did a life practicum dealing with fundies. Christian band. "Bone Agin".

More liars, cheats and thieves per square centimeter...Oy.

[donco6]

14. That's been my experience, too.

I came out of a fundie church about 15 years ago, so I know, too.

What she's going to have to deal with is the total ostracism you face when you leave one of these fundie churches. You build your life around them for years and years, all of your friends are part of the church because you have no time for anything else. Then something like this happens and you're adrift - completely alone. And you realize you have to start over completely.

What's the old saying - "So you have sown, so also shall you reap." Maybe she'll learn something from this.

[Sporadicus]

8. Between the Old and New Testament

with countless contradictions between them, a fundie can find justification for any behavior under the sun.

[onebigbadwulf]

13. Fundies are in their own crazy world

A lot of fundies I know are adulterers. You can have fun with this. When it comes to abortion they ask "Are you prepared to stand at the gates of heaven as a murderer?"

to which I respond, "Why not? You're going there as an adulterer"

[donco6]

15. Same biblical punishement for both.

So what's the big deal? I've always wondered that, myself. Good point.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

17. What's the big deal?

These places exist to deliver a false certainty in an uncertain world, for those who are too scared to come out into the world and live as we were intended to, with ethics, caring and objectively good works.

It translates into power, money and a certain tightly-focused glory for the cult leader. He sells the promise of personal mystical experience. Whether he delivers it is meaningless.

It truly appeals to our baser instincts, just wrapped up in misunderstood and massaged scriptural passages.

[donco6]

20. Yes, I agree.

I had a good discussion not too long ago, regarding the difference between "morality" and "ethics."

I think what we concluded is that morality tends to involve some sort of outside imposition - religion being the primary source of morality. Ethics is something that springs from within. In my opinion, ethics is much more powerful.

[faithnotgreed]

16. i hope this is ok to ask: did you post just a few days ago

about this situation? i mean that you bringing your partner to a family event was causing big problems with a sibling?

and then you just find this out...
wow. that is some kind of turnabout! sorry for everyone involved but i do understand your comment that its just too ironic

ive seen pastors get involved in these extramarital things and it just doesnt cease to amaze. no wonder people are turned off to religion and those saying they are Christians.

i was one of the lucky ones who was brought up in a church that cared about social justice and people trying to walk the walk though of course none are perfect

[donco6]

19. Must have been yet another!

I've been out for a few days.

It's a pretty common occurence, however. I've had other friends who've had similar experiences. One of them was almost kept out of his father's funeral because his partner was there.

[faithnotgreed]

21. wow. that makes it that much more sad - it was yet another

sibling who was pissed because a partner was going to be brought to a family wedding/funeral/fill in the occasion. and therefore was threatening not to attend...

i can imagine that does happen a bit.

thanks for responding. i was fairly sure it was you.

again, sorry for your situation. i have been blessed in so very many ways but one topic that i think about is how even my mom has high regard for my partner (10 yrs)
the rest of my family was totally accepting but my mom was devastated when she found out - it was my first and all that plus we are what are called Christians so it was really really tough for her....

i dont know how close everyone is but i certainly wish the best of luck to you and your family...

[donco6]

22. My dad has been so cool.

He's my example of a good Christian and I respect him greatly. I don't know what religion the rest of them follow, but it isn't anything similar to his.

[faithnotgreed]

23. i know what youre saying. when people say * is Christian i have to

wonder:

what does that make me...

im very glad to hear that your dad is that cool. makes a huge difference im sure.

[TNDemo]

18. There is a book you might enjoy reading.

Glittering Images by Susan Howatch. It deals with the subject of adultery and how it is justified by the religious. Great read. It's fiction but quite intelligently done.

[fortyfeetunder]

24. Giver her time, she'll grovel

People like that were all self-righteous and then after they get in a morally disgraceful predicament, and eventually become ostracized, they become human, and sometimes even tolerant human beings. Let us know how long the transformation takes place.

[skygazer]

25. It was in the paper?

That's sad. The whole thing is sad. You know, I get aggravated with a lot of fundies but, to a large extent, they end up being victims of something they've turned to for answers and stability. The church manipulates its members (which to a greater or lesser extent, all churches do but fundies take it to extremes, it seems to me). Crappy situation all around.

[donco6]

26. They didn't name my sister, but talked about the pastor

who had to resign because of it.

[ikojo]

27. To think people like her

accuse the GLBT community of undermining
sanctity of marriage.....
HYPOCRITES

this message was typed on a wireless Palm