Toast

[Sporadicus]

Toast
by Heywood Banks
All around the country and coast to coast
People always say, "what do you like most?"
I don’t want to brag, I don’t want to boast
I always tell ‘em, "I like toast."
YEAH, TOAST!!
YEAH, TOAST!!


I get up in the morning ‘bout six A.M.
Have a little jelly, have a little jam
Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot
Push down the lever and the wires get hot,
I get toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!


Now, there’s no secret to toasting perfection
There’s a dial on the side and you make your selection
Push to the dark or the light and then
If it pops too soon, press down again
Make toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!


When the first caveman drove in from the drags
Didn’t know what would go with the bacon and the eggs
Must have met a genius, got it in his head
Plug the toaster in the wall, buy a bag of bread
Make toast.
YEAH, TOAST!
YEAH, TOAST!


Oui Monsieur, bonjour coquette,
Une croissant? Et vous auvent?
Maurice Chevalier, Eiffel Tower,
Oui Marie, baguette, bonsoir!
FRENCH TOAST!
FRENCH TOAST!


Come November 2, * is...
TOAST!!!!

[Philostopher]

1. Apparently, when Heywood performs this live,

he does it with an old chrome toaster around his neck, mounted on a guitar strap and plays percussion for himself on the side. I've never seen him, but I heard him on Gary Burbank's radio show in Cincinnati several years ago and even though they had numerous requests for him to do 'Toast,' including from Burbank himself, Heywood refused to perform the song because he'd left his official toaster at the hotel and it just wouldn't work without it.