My former boyfriend - reactivated - to be deployed to Iraq

[Cerridwen]

Not sure what to feel. We ended badly. Not friends. Not talking. No contact in five months.

Sad. What if something happens to him? Dumb, huh. Of course something will "happen" to him. He's going into a war zone.

Months ago he wanted to go. Was classified "non(un?) deployable resource". He was pissed. He left the Guard a few months ago. They re-actived him; I knew it would happen. I don't know if he still wants to go or not.

I don't know his unit; what he does; anything like that. He didn't talk much about it. I didn't ask.

Should I call? Email? Probably not. Say what? Congratulations on finally being deployed? </sarcasm> So sorry you're going; stay safe.

I heard from mutual friends. Ft. Sill then Iraq.

Okay, I'm rambling. Sorry. Guess I just needed to post.

Thanks for reading.

Edited for spelling; in the title of all things!

[ronnykmarshall]

1. Contact him.

You'll feel better and so will he.

He's in my prayers that he comes home safe.

[Cerridwen]

3. I honestly think he'd be angry if I contacted him

Thank you for the reply.

And for your kindness.

[ronnykmarshall]

14. That's too bad.

You really seem to express concern for him. But if he's not cool with just know that you have him in your heart. You've made that clear.

Can you contact his family? Maybe that would be a cool thing to do.

[Cerridwen]

16. Naw, no contact there, either.

Email may be an option. Just found his email address.

I think he's still a couple of months from Iraq (staging in Ft. Sill), so he'll have time to "calm down" if I email him soon.

Maybe.

Thank you.

[Wheelie_Alex]

2. Unfortunately,

I am too old and too broken to go back into the Rangers. I know this war is unjust, but fellow Americans are fighting it and I would not mind fighting beside them, providing cover or even having my slow, wide ass draw fire away from them. To me it is not about the politics, it is about the soldiers.

[Cerridwen]

5. Yeah, I think that's some of how he feels, too

Of course, he also enjoys a good fight.

I think I worry more about that coming out too much in him, with the added "encouragement" of a war environment.

[bluestateguy]

4. I would contact him

This may be the only chance you have to bring closure to any lingering bad feelings between the two of you.

[Cerridwen]

6. Yeah, I've thought of that

Thanks for saying so. It's nice to "hear" it "out loud".

I do think my contacting him would just piss him off, though.

I'm still thinking.

Thanks.

[WillyBrandt]

10. Can you contact him in a "safe" way (like an e-mail)?

A phone call can degenerate into an argument, but a properly written e-mail can communicate your feelings and sympathies without imposing any emotional obligation on him.

I don't know the details, but all things being equal, I think you should do it.

[Cerridwen]

17. Good points, all. Thank you.

I'm starting to think email's the best.

Thanks so much for replying.

This is really helping me to clarify things in my head . . . and heart.

[Jim__]

7. I'd say contact him

Let him know you'll be thinking of him - tell him to write.

[Cerridwen]

9. Thanks....seems ya'll are thinking contact him is the best

I'm leaning that way.

Thanks for the advice. Really.

[Cybergata]

8. Email is safe

Just tell him to stay safe. Don't expect a reply, but I bet in the long run, you'll be glad you did. :hippie:

[Cerridwen]

11. You folks are great! Thanks for taking the time to read and

respond.

[faithnotgreed]

12. i hear you that you think emailing will just upset him. but

you can clearly state you wish him well and he will be in your prayers (or whatever you want to say)
you can just make it short and clear that you are speaking of him going to iraq. nothing more and nothing less. and that you dont want anything you say to upset him, but i think it is the caring and healthy thing to do to write him a brief note
its pulling the curtain of hurt aside for the time being and just presenting that you care for him as a person you know and as a human being

he can never have too many people offering their thoughts or support in a situation like he is about to enter.

best wishes to you both...

[Cerridwen]

13. Thank you.

Great perspective.

[cap]

15. i synpathize...

i am in a similar position only in some senses worse. Fhear ormer boyfriend calls me almost 3 weeks before I got married. Glad to hear from him. Then 3 weeks after I got married tells me he's thinking of going to Iraq with Blackwater Security . I tell him what they are and he still went. Could barely speak to him when he told me. Emailed me saying that he is in Iraq. I havent emailed him back or tried to contact him. I just cant get over the fact that someone I know would willingly join up with Pinochet's mercenaries.

At least your guy is with honorable men.

[Cerridwen]

18. I'm so sorry. That must be horrible for you.

I'm not sure what they are. I googled 'em and they appear to be hired contractors? Nevermind...I found them.

Here's a thought for you which may help; carry the thought in your head/heart that he's doing what he thinks is the right thing to do and that it's for all the right reasons? Just a thought.

Good luck and best wishes on all of us.

[Cerridwen]

19. Update - I sent an email - Thanks all for your support -- n/t